Sasina, Sass for short
by riverlady
Summary: **Chapter 15 up!** As mountains continue to dump themselves on Sass, she has to reach deep inside for the strength within. Not a M/S!!!!! R/R PLEASE!!!!!!!!
1. An Unlikely Story

Hey, this is my remake, and- oh, bugger, all my reviews disappeared. Yeah, I removed the story and re-did it with longer chapters and the formatting all of us on PC's must use. For old readers, there may be a few small changes, but it's not worth re-reading all over. For new readers, I hope you enjoy! There is a little bit of Sailor Moon stuff mixed in here (that's anime, folks) also, so be ready for that  
  
Disclaimer: This gets very monotonous, so I will only say it once, and then will update if I need to. I do not own Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin. I don't own ANY OF THEM (the great JKR does), and I'm not making any money off this, though I wish I were. I also do not own Michelle, Emara, or the Sailor Scouts, they are part of an anime TV show called Sailor Moon. I do own Sass, Sandra, Jessica & Marisa, and basically anyone else you don't recognize from the books. If you want to use them, ask me and I'll probably say yes. In the way of formatting, thoughts and other italics are in /./, and memories are in . If there's more I'll let you know.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 1- An Unlikely Story  
  
"Hey! You get the mail this morning, Emara!" Sasina (Sass, for short) yelled at her new guardian, tucking her short black hair behind her ears. /It's amazing,/ she thought, /I've only known Michelle and Emara for a month or so, and already I'm more at home here than I ever was at the orphanage- and I lived there for eleven years./ She smiled as Emara accepted her rally and went out to the mailbox. Today was another lovely day at the English cottage, which, as Sass had only recently found out, was just a vacation home. Emara and Michelle Lantuan were cousins who had been close friends since childhood, and had a fair-sized business in Tokyo, their hometown. Sass still wasn't quite sure what exactly they did, but she supposed they must be pretty good at it, because they were wealthy enough to have a vacation house in Oxford, which was, by her standards, large enough to be a spacious home. /Of course, my standards were fairly perverted by living in "favor" of Milord- no. I will never give him that respect again. He is just Paul./ Sass' former guardian was not a good person, and Sass simply counted herself lucky she had been adopted before he'd broken her spirit.  
  
/But that's over now./ Sass hoped to move on with her life, and not let past experiences haunt her. She was incredibly happy that Michelle and Emara, Sailor Scouts of love and justice, had sensed a danger here in England that required their attention. She was glad they had seen through her indifferent mask, forced on her by Paul, and touched her heart to show her there was more out there than the pain she knew. That they had then adopted her, not knowing she had met them before, had been the best thing that had ever happened to her. She had revealed her identity to them so she could help thwart the latest plan of the Dark Plane. The evil Lady Niume had attempted to make humans into mindless power generators for her own evil purposes. The three of them had managed to feed Lady Niume's stolen power /back through her/ until she exploded with a grating scream that Sass would /never/ forget. But now the crisis was over, and they were all enjoying the vacation.  
  
Sasina looked up from her breakfast to see Emara looking through the mail. "Hey, Sass! There's something here for you!"  
  
"Really? Hand it over, then."  
  
"OK. Check out the funny ink."  
  
Sasina looked at the letter, and saw to her surprise that it was addressed in green ink to Sasina Celeborn-Lantuan, 2137 Silver Birch Drive. There was no return address. "How in the heck did whoever sent this know my real last name?" She said to no one in particular as she broke the seal.  
  
"What's this?" Michelle, Sass' other guardian, walked into the room and sat down at the table.  
  
Emara replied absently, watching Sass intently. "Someone sent Sass a letter with funny green ink, and it has her old last name."  
  
Michelle looked puzzled. "But who would -"  
  
Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by Sass' exclamations as she opened the letter and read the first words on the page. "What?"  
  
Emara and Michelle were twin pictures in impatience. "What is it? What's it say?" Emara demanded.  
  
"Is it bad news from the other Scouts?" asked Michelle.  
  
  
  
Sass was slow to answer. "Noo,"  
  
"Well, read it out then," said Emara.  
  
"OK," Sass said reluctantly. "Here goes."  
  
HOGWARTS SCHOOL  
  
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY  
  
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
  
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock  
  
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)  
  
Dear Ms. Celeborn/Lantuan,  
  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Also directions to Diagon Alley, where they may be found.  
  
Term begins on September 1. We await your response by no later than July 31. Mailing address enclosed.  
  
Yours sincerely,  
  
Minerva McGonagall  
  
Minerva McGonagall,  
  
Deputy Headmistress  
  
There was a shocked silence in which everyone stared at the letter. Sass slowly looked behind it at the other papers in the packet. "There's some other stuff here too," she said. "Just like the letter said."  
  
Michelle looked like she was going to choke. "Well, why don't you read that out too," she managed to force out.  
  
"OK. Let's see,"  
  
HOGWARTS SCHOOL  
  
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY  
  
uniform  
  
First-year students will require:  
  
Three sets of plain work robes (black) One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear One pair of protective gloves (dragonhide or similar) One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)  
  
Please note that all pupils' clothing should carry nametags  
  
course books  
  
All students should have a copy of each of the following:  
  
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk  
  
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot  
  
Magical Theory by Aldabert Waffling  
  
A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch  
  
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore  
  
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger  
  
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander  
  
The Dark Forces: A Guide To Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble  
  
other equipment  
  
1 wand  
  
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)  
  
1 set glass or crystal phials  
  
1 telescope  
  
1 set brass scales Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad  
  
PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS  
  
"There's also directions to somewhere in London called Diagon Alley, a train ticket from the station there - London, that is - and a mailbox somewhere in Bristol, which is apparently where we're supposed to send our reply. Oh, and there's a sheet of paper that says we get to the train station by walking through the wall between stations nine and ten. What?" Sass looked at the ticket. "Huh. The train leaves at 11:00, on September first from platform - nine and three-quarters?" Sass looked puzzled.  
  
Emara, however, was unperturbed. "Well, it makes sense, if this isn't a hoax. The wizards can't possibly want the whole world boarding the train to this wizarding school. It stands to reason they'd have figured out some way to keep them out. So, they use their exclusive resource - magic - to figure it out." She shrugged. "Makes sense."  
  
Michelle jumped immediately to Emara's first statement. "But what if it is a hoax? I mean, that's actually more likely than this," she gestured at the envelope, "all being true."  
  
"I'm not sure about that, Michelle." Sass replied slowly. "There's something about this that makes me want to trust it. I mean, these people have thought of everything! Right down to the fact that we have to get the barkeep in this place to tap one of the bricks in the alley behind his shop so we can get the supplies. It's too well thought out for a hoax, unless it's a serial one."  
  
Emara frowned. "Well, I hate to say it, Michelle, but I think I have to agree with Sass on this one. I mean, we're the Sailor Scouts! If we told someone about us, they would think we were insane! But it's still true. There's no reason why these people can't exist too."  
  
"I can see I'm outvoted on this." Michelle forced a smile. "But when we go to London to get your school stuff, let's get all of the Scouts to come, OK? We can phone them and they can teleport here. Say they're going to a retreat or something."  
  
Emara smiled. "Sounds like a great idea to me. I've been trying to get them up here all summer. This way there's a chance we'll need them as the Scouts, but most likely we'll all just be able to have a good time. I'll call them now so we can set it up in advance. After all, September 1st is only," she looked at her watch, "five weeks away." She stood up and proceeded into the kitchen to call long distance to Tokyo.  
  
"Hey, can you write out a letter to send to them saying I'll come?" Sass called after her. "We can send it next time you go into town." Emara stuck her head back through the door and waved her assent, already on the phone.  
  
Sass smiled at Michelle. "Don't worry. Even if it isn't what it seems, I can take care of myself. I'm tough."  
  
Michelle bit her lip. "I know. But you've already been through so much, I don't think you ought to have to deal with anything more, at least not for five or ten more years."  
  
Sass grimaced at the reminder. "Don't worry." She said again. "I'm sure everything's fine."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Exactly one month later, on August 27th, the three of them were standing on the edge of the living room at eleven o'clock in the morning, waiting for the other Sailor Scouts - Sailors Moon, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus - to arrive. They had arranged it to the minute to make sure Sass, Michelle, and Emara would be out of the way when they teleported into the living room. Emara looked at her watch impatiently. "They're late," she said. "Could something have gone wrong?"  
  
"Don't worry," Michelle said. "They'll be here."  
  
Like magic (which of course, it was), the five of them appeared in their magical Sailor Scout garb, holding hands in a circle. They broke apart and opened their eyes.  
  
Emara smiled. "How's it going?"  
  
Sailor Moon (or Serena), hyper as always, bounced forward. "Great! How 'bout for you guys? Oh, is this the kid? Hey! What's your name? I'm Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice-"  
  
"I'm sure Emara and Michelle already told her." Sailor Mars, or Raye, interrupted. "Why not ask what her name is?" She tilted her head at Sass.  
  
"Sasina. Sass for short."  
  
Michelle, ever practical, cut into the conversation to remind them all to come back to earth. "Why don't you all transform back, and then we can all have afternoon tea? It's a lovely tradition of the locals that I find very relaxing." She raised an eyebrow at Emara, who headed for the kitchen to put on the kettle  
  
"Sounds great." That was Sailor Jupiter, or Lita, if Sass was remembering right. "Jupiter. show me my true form."  
  
Sasina watched, fascinated, as one by one, the five Scouts repeated this phrase (each using the name of their own planet) and whirled from their leotards and short skirts back into normal, if somewhat foreign looking, clothes (of course, she reminded herself, that was probably because they were from Tokyo).  
  
Emara poked her head back into the room just then. "So, I've put on the kettle, what sort of tea do you all want?"  
  
"Mint! With lots of sugar," exclaimed Serena (Moon).  
  
"Any sort of berry," was Amy, also Sailor Mercury.  
  
"One of those cinnamon mixers would be great. But I'm cool however." Mina (Venus) had the talking cat, Artemis.  
  
Lita agreed with Mina; and Sailor Mars, or Raye, asked for green tea. Michelle just smiled. She /always/ had lemon tea.  
  
"Sass? How about you?" Emara grinned.  
  
"I'll have raspberry today." Sass smiled back. It was a running joke between them that Sass had a different flavor of tea every day.  
  
Emara gestured towards the kitchen. "Well, then, if you'll all just step inside and sit down, the water will be hot in just a few minutes."  
  
There was a brief stampede for the best spots, which left Sass and Michelle sitting on the counter, while Mina had opted to sit on the rug. Everyone else had managed to get a more conventional seat.  
  
"So," Mina said, folding her legs to get comfortable. "Tell us about your escapades this summer. From the sound of it, things have been interesting."  
  
Emara entered just then with the tea, and there was a brief pause as everyone took her cup and Emara sat down. Then Sass broke the silence. "Well, I guess the story ought to begin with me. My name was Sasina Celeborn-Arilya, and I lived in an orphanage in London. The caretaker, Paul Kincaid, was not a good person."  
  
"That's an understatement," Emara interjected.  
  
"May be, but they don't need to hear all that." Sass would've continued, but Lita broke in.  
  
"So what happened to your parents?"  
  
Sass shrugged. "I don't know. I was found in the woods in a park. At any rate he - Paul, that is - taught me practically every form of dance and martial arts there is, even though he used methods that are disgusting and cruel. Anyway, a few months ago he entered me in a martial arts tournament that Michelle and Emara had identified as a possible target. Emara entered, and we were the two finalists. She accidentally sprained my ankle, and probably could've beaten me, but she was worried about me. So, when she saw I wasn't going to back out, she withdrew. That gave me back the hope in people that had been missing from my life for years. They just happened to choose Paul's orphanage to adopt a child from, and picked me, not knowing I was the martial artist. They told me about their true abilities, and their real reason for coming to England. I told them about myself." She went on to describe, in brief, how they foiled the plans of the Dark Plane, and what they had done since. She finished up with the strange letter in the mail and their plans to go to London. ". And that's why we called you," she finished.  
  
"Wow." Sasina stared down at her feet as Lita tried to break the silence. Not even Emara and Michelle had heard the whole story from her before. She ignored the sudden burst of conversation as they all tried to lighten the mood. /And that wasn't even the whole story- not even close. They have no idea./ She would have bitten her lip if she were a normal person, but Paul had taught her not to show her emotions, especially not those of weakness. There were only two people who might understand the horror. /No. I will never see either of them again. Not Samuel- the only teacher I had that cared; and not Bobby. Oh God, why did I have to let my baby brother go? Why him?/ She pulled herself out of the black hole that overwhelmed her every time she thought about the two people that had made life worth living in the orphanage. She knew she would have to face it someday, but she couldn't, not yet. She focused on the conversation around her, and banished the memories deep inside her.  
  
"So anyway, after we visit the Underground, you just have to see the Palace. It's absolutely gorgeous. There's nothing like it in Tokyo. I know how much peasants' sweat went into it, but you know? Its still beautiful." That was Michelle. She was positively enamored of the Royal Palace. Sass managed to smile as she listened to Michelle extort the many virtues of the Buckingham.  
  
Emara finally got tired of it. "Michelle, why don't you leave a few things as surprises for when they actually get there?"  
  
Michelle put her hand over her mouth, chastised, but unashamed. "Okay, okay."  
  
"Anyway," Emara continued, "today, we should just show them around town, because they're probably not going to see it again."  
  
Michelle smiled. "Sounds great. What do you guys think?"  
  
The others chimed in with enthusiastic agreements, so as soon as they had put the mugs in the sink, they went out.  
  
* * * * *  
  
They started for London that evening. Michelle and Emara had been taking the train everywhere, but everyone wanted to be able to talk about the whole wizard school situation, so they rented a minivan instead. They packed their bags, and walked down to the rental agency. After filling out all of the necessary paperwork, they were finally on their way. After they got onto the freeway, Amy leaned forward. "Hey, um, Sass? I've been thinking about what you said earlier, and I was wondering. Why was it such a shock that the people at this magic school knew your middle name was Celeborn? I mean, isn't it in all of your records and everything?"  
  
Sass smiled. "Well, actually Celeborn isn't a middle name. I have two last names, and in that circumstance, usually the last-last name is the most important. So, if I were to drop one, I would drop the Celeborn. The other thing is that when a child is adopted, usually they completely drop their old last name. So the fact that they knew both that the Celeborn was more important to me and that I had kept anything at all was pretty impressive."  
  
"Well, then it's pretty likely that this is for real, right?" asked Raye.  
  
"Yes, that's correct. We just wanted you all to come as safety, just in case," Michelle answered.  
  
Emara was driving, but she put in her two cents anyway. "Actually, we mostly just used it as an excuse to get you all out here, like we've been trying to do all summer."  
  
Amy smiled. "We guessed that you had ulterior motives, even before we knew the whole situation. But we decided to come anyway, to see what was up, if nothing else."  
  
Serena was busy plastering her nose against the window. "You guys are so lucky! English guys are way cuter than the ones back home! Except for Darian, of course."  
  
"Darian's your boyfriend, right?" Sass hazarded.  
  
"Yes, we are fated to be together for all time. He was my prince in the Moon Kingdom, and was sent to Earth with me to keep me safe in the form of Tuxedo Mask. His token is a red rose, which symbolizes our never-ending -"  
  
"Emara?" Raye interrupted loudly. "What're we going to do first when we get to London? And when is that, by the way?"  
  
"Well, we started out in Oxford," Emara said over her shoulder, "which is about eighty kilometers from London as the crow flies. Unfortunately, the road we're taking follows the river, which brings the distance up to about a hundred. That'll take maybe an hour and a half, depending on traffic."  
  
Sass grinned at Serena's expression as she was cut off. "Actually, Emara, it'll take longer than that. It's rush hour. We'll probably be on the road for two hours, at least. We might want to consider stopping for dinner on the way."  
  
"No food. Please," Lita croaked. She had discovered that the highly romanticized winding English roads didn't agree with her very much.  
  
Sass shrugged. "That's fine too. I just wanted to bring up the idea. We'll probably be there by seven, anyway."  
  
They spent the time with small talk and suppositions about what all these wizards might be like. Nearly two hours later, Sass broke into a heated discussion about hot actors. "You guys! It's just up ahead, over that hill. See? You can see the lights from here!"  
  
They all looked up and, and saw that the sky was, indeed, much lighter over the hill on the horizon. Then they were at the top, and could see what was actually making the glow. "Wow," said Serena. "It's so big!"  
  
"Yep, that's London," replied Sass.  
  
"You don't sound excited. Why?" asked Amy.  
  
"That's where I lived for most of my life, remember?" Sass told the fear in her stomach sternly to go away. Paul wasn't going to get her, not while she was with the Scouts.  
  
"Oh, right." Sass knew she should apologize for being so bitter, but she couldn't bring herself to. If she only had one chance to see her little brother. No. She broke the silence herself this time.  
  
"Anyway, we should get to the hotel room we booked within twenty minutes."  
  
Michelle looked back at her. "It'll take that long?"  
  
Sass raised an eyebrow. "You bet it will. The traffic's starting to clear up, but it's still pretty heavy. Plus, we're going into the city, so traffic would be thicker there anyway."  
  
"Here we go." Emara called back as they started to descend the hill.  
  
Later, at the hotel, Mina took Sass aside. "Listen, I don't want to pry or anything, but it seems like there's something else about your time in the orphanage that you haven't told any of us. I'm not going to ask what it is, but if there's anything I can do to help you, please tell me. And if you need an ear. well, I'd be glad to listen." She smiled wryly. "Although you probably don't need or want either of those things."  
  
Sass gave her a small smile. "Thanks. I- I'll remember that. I- probably ought to tell- but I just can't. I'm sorry."  
  
"That's okay," Mina said. She turned back towards the others, and Sass watched her for a moment before following.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So, we have four days until Sass leaves, but we can stay here as long as we want after that, right?" Amy asked the next morning.  
  
"That's the long and short of it." Emara grinned as Serena, still in her pajamas, staggered out of the bedroom. "Sleeping Beauty awakes!" she mocked. Serena gave her a Look, and sat down, swiping an Egg-o waffle off of Emara's plate.  
  
  
  
Michelle turned to Amy. "We're going to do all of the stuff with Sass' school first, just in case there's something weird going on. Then, we can sightsee with any time we have left over."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Sounds great," she replied. "When do we leave?"  
  
Emara turned her back on Serena. "As soon as her Royal Princessness stops stuffing her face and gets dressed."  
  
"Awesome," said Raye. She was already finished eating, and was in the middle of an extremely limited sparring match with Lita (duh, they were in a hotel room). Sass watched them with interest. They were both fairly good, but their styles were limited, and they didn't really the /whys/ of the moves they were doing. She realized what she was doing, and stopped herself. She turned back to the conversation at the table as Serena finished eating and stood up to go get dressed.  
  
".But I think that the movies are probably going to be at least as good as the books, I mean, they've certainly got good actors." Mina said with enthusiasm.  
  
"Yes, but they're going to have to leave so much out," Emara retaliated. "I mean, take the Fellowship- so much happens. There's the whole part about the party, then getting to Rivendell, and then the whole journey, all the way past Lorien."  
  
"Which books?" Sass asked tentatively.  
  
Michelle turned to her. "The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkien. They're making a movie of them, and the first one comes out this winter. Too bad you won't be able to come and see it with us."  
  
Sass' shoulders sagged. Yet another thing she'd missed as a child. Reading. And another thing she'd miss with Emara and Michelle. As she spiraled down, Serena reentered, dressed this time. Sass shook her head and picked up the packet she'd gotten in the mail.  
  
"Ready?" She stood up and headed for the door. There was a chorus of agreement as everyone followed her to the door.  
  
They took the underground to downtown London, and got off at a stop near where the directions said they should stop. They got their bearings and headed off. They reached the spot and stopped. Sass looked at her paper. "It says here that this place, the Leaky Cauldron, is between the Olde Town bookstore, and World Records. Here they are, but I don't see the pub." She squinted at the wall between the two stores. "Do any of you see anything?"  
  
Emara frowned. "No."  
  
"Well, it's starting to look like maybe this was a hoax." Michelle slumped. "How I wish I wasn't right. It would have been extremely cool to see wizards."  
  
Serena shrugged. "Oh, well. Let's go get something to eat."  
  
But Sass still had the feeling that this was utterly for real. "I-"  
  
"Are you looking for the Leaky Cauldron?" Suddenly, a stranger - hooded and cloaked - popped up beside them.  
  
  
  
Ok, sorta a lame cliffie I know, but this story DOES get better! PLEASE REVIEW! Flames accepted, but advice is MUCH more so, so why not just give me some ideas? 


	2. A New World

Ok, here's the next chap in my longer-chapter story. Hope you like...  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter Two- A New World  
  
  
  
The Scouts all put their hands in their pockets, where their power stones were, but Sass put her hand up and stepped forward. "Who are you?"  
  
The stranger replied. "My name is Dedalus Diggle, and it's my job to help new students to Hogwarts find Diagon Alley. We put a charm on it so that if you don't know it's there, you can't see it. You were staring in the right place, so I asked."  
  
"Yes, we are looking for the Leaky Cauldron. Where is it?" Raye stepped forward beside Sass.  
  
He smiled. "You were looking in the right place. See? Right near that crack in the wall." He pointed, and gradually, the outline of a small, grubby-looking pub appeared. It became 3D with a pop that made Sass jump.  
  
"You see it now? Good. Enjoy yourselves." And then, he was gone. They were left in the street, just as if he had never been. Except for that now, all of them could see the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
After a long pause, Emara broke the silence. "Well, do you think we should go in?"  
  
Michelle grimaced. "I think we sort of ought to. I mean, we've come this far." She shrugged.  
  
"Then let's get on with it! Come on! I'm hungry." Serena set off determinedly towards the pub.  
  
They all shrugged, and then followed her across the street, and through the door.  
  
* * * * *  
  
As Sass entered the Leaky Cauldron, she was immediately bombarded with smells, sounds, and the most amazing scene she had ever witnessed. Something in a black cloak and a balaclava was eating a piece of raw meat, and there were all manner of people, all of them with brightly colored cloaks. The noise was amazing! Sass had never heard anything so loud in her life. They quickly made their way to the front of the pub, and they soon caught the attention of the barkeep, most likely because of their clothes. He came over and grinned amicably.  
  
"Hello, ladies. What brings you here? One for Hogwarts?" He raised an eyebrow at Sass.  
  
Emara nodded. "That's the way of it. Do you have accommodations for all of us for the next week or so?"  
  
He grinned toothlessly. "Sure. Right this way, if you'd care to see. By the way, I'm Tom. If you need to get into Diagon Alley, I'm the one you want to ask. Of course, once the little lady here gets her wand, I can just show her how, and then you'll be set, at least until the first. And here they are." He stopped at a door with a brass number nine on it.  
  
"This room has a connecting door with the next one over, number ten. If it suits?" He paused and looked over at them. Emara nodded. "Very well then. Would you like me to send someone over for your things?"  
  
"That would be wonderful." Michelle spoke up. "We were at the Marriott, down on Twelfth Street. Do you need any sort of permission?"  
  
"Just a room key. We are fully responsible for anything we lose, but there are ways of ascertaining whether you are lying if you claim lost property. But you folks don't seem the sort to pull something like that." Michelle and Emara dug their room keys out of their pockets and handed them over. Tom smiled and gestured for them to precede him back down the stairs.  
  
"Now, I'll just get Diagon Alley opened up for you, and your things will be here by supper. Anything else I can do for you?"  
  
"No, that'll be all," Michelle answered as they went down. As they entered the common room, they were again barraged by the sounds. Tom led them to a back door that led to a small alley. Here he turned to Sass.  
  
"Now, the way this works is that you find the brick above the trash can, then go three to the left. You tap the brick, and well," he demonstrated, "it appears."  
  
Sass' eyes opened with shock. The brick wall rearranged itself into an arch, and revealed a whole street full of wizards and witches. She could see some of the stores, and they were incredibly different from any she'd seen before.  
  
Tom smiled. "Well, I've got to be getting back to my station now, so I'll just leave you folks. You get back through by passing under the arch. If you need help finding anything, Florian Fortescue, the owner of that ice cream store over there, will be glad to help. Enjoy yourselves!" And he went back through the door, leaving them to exchange looks, and step through the gate.  
  
* * * * *  
  
By common consensus they went to the ice cream parlor first. None of them had a clue as to where anything was. As they entered, a sudden wave of cool swept over them in sharp contrast to the hot day. Serena's eyes practically popped out of her head at the flavors and kinds of ice cream on display. Sass, however, stepped up to the counter, where an elderly man with a bright smile and twinkling eyes greeted her.  
  
"Hello, young miss. How may I help you?"  
  
She smiled. "Well, I'm starting at Hogwarts this year, and the barkeep at the Leaky Cauldron said that if we needed any help, you were the person to ask."  
  
"Well, then. The first thing you really ought to do is stop at Gringotts, but I think that I should give you all a little orientation first. And a map. Hold on just a moment." He disappeared into the back room, but reappeared quickly, carrying a piece of paper, which he laid out on a table. It had streets and buildings laid out on it, but none of it really made any sense.  
  
"Now, you all are here." He tapped a place on the map with a stick (a wand?), and a small red arrow appeared (a wand). He proceeded to explain about what seemed like a hundred of the shops, each time tapping the map with his wand, which caused little labels to appear. As he finished up, he tapped the dot one more time and said "Animatium!" Then he turned to them.  
  
"Now, the way this works is that the dot tells you where you are at all times. As soon as you leave the shop, it will become an arrow, pointing in whichever way you need to go to get to the next place on the course I've laid out for you, which will be listed in the top left-hand corner. Whenever you're done for the day, you," he looked at Sass, "tap the map with your wand an say 'Finem.' Then it will just give you directions back to the Leaky Cauldron, and won't start back on the course until you tap it again and say 'Empez.'  
  
"Oh, and one more thing. We of the wizarding world call non-magic folks muggles. That'll help you to understand people better. Is there anything else I can help you with?"  
  
Sass shook her head. "No. Thank you ever so much." She started to turn for the door, but then noticed Serena, who was still plastered to the display. "Actually, I think we'd all like some ice cream before we go. What would you suggest?"  
  
After they were all set up with their ice cream, they left the shop and Sass relinquished the map to Emara, so she could navigate. Sass wanted to look! But as they were leaving, she noticed a rather scruffy boy with black hair and glasses who was sitting outside, looking at a thick textbook and taking notes. She didn't know why he caught her eye, it just sort of happened.  
  
But she soon forgot about it in the whirl of amazing things to see. The eight of them passed all sorts of stores, from a dusty wand shop, to a whole barn full of owls for sale as pets and messengers. At the end of the road she saw a huge white marble building, with small, wrinkled creatures at the front doors.  
  
"What on earth are those?" Mina leaned over and whispered to Amy.  
  
Amy frowned. "I'm not sure. They could be goblins, but mythological- er, /supposedly/ mythological creatures aren't exactly my specialty. But this is where we're supposed to go first, right?" She turned to Emara, who was looking at the map.  
  
Emara nodded. "Yep. Well, that fellow wouldn't have sent us here if they were dangerous. This is the bank where we can get some wizard money, I think. Shall we enter?" She asked, half mocking. Everyone shrugged, so they went up the marble steps.  
  
The creature bowed as they passed through the doors, which were made of bronze. They found themselves confronted by another pair of doors, these ones silver, and guarded by two goblins. Sass walked through, not sure what to expect. But she could never have imagined anything like the actual scene she was confronted with upon entering the main chamber.  
  
Hundreds of the long-eared, long-nosed, goblins sat on stools behind a long, partitioned counter. They measured and weighed everything imaginable - from glowing stones to small, threadlike plants. Countless more doors led off of the hall, and people and goblins were going through them in a steady stream. Sass couldn't have said anything if she'd wanted to. She just goggled at the amazing scene, that seemed to her to simply /be/ magic. Fortunately Michelle wasn't as tongue-tied as her. She just paused for a moment, then stepped up to a free goblin as if she did this sort of thing all the time.  
  
The goblin bowed from his tall chair, and looked them over. "Hello. How may I serve you?"  
  
Michelle inclined her head politely. "We'd like to exchange some - ah, muggle money."  
  
"Very good. Would you also like to start a running account with us?"  
  
Michelle looked to Emara and Sass. "What do you two think? It might be a good idea."  
  
Emara nodded. "I think so."  
  
"Yeah, that way I'll have something to draw on while I'm at whatchacally- Hogwarts."  
  
Michelle turned back to the goblin. "Yes, that would be wonderful."  
  
He opened a drawer below the counter and took out a small device that looked like a cross between a calculator and a printer. He punched about a dozen numbers into it, and then looked back up at them. "You will require a key to actually withdraw money from your account in person. However, if you wish to charge a fee to your account, we will simply need a signed letter from the account holder specifying the person and amount, along with as many other details as you may include. In any case, how many keys do you wish at this time, and under whose name should the account be under?"  
  
"Three keys, please, and can the account be jointly held?"  
  
"Of course." He pushed a button on the device, and it started to whir. Then one, two, three, four keys dropped out of the end that looked like a printer. He pushed three of them across the counter, and took out a large accounting book.  
  
"Now, what names for the account?"  
  
Michelle looked at Emara, and Emara shrugged. Michelle smiled, and said, "Why not? She's mature enough." Then she turned to the goblin.  
  
"Three names, please. Michelle Lantuan, Emara Lantuan, and Sasina-" she raised an eyebrow at Sass, who stepped forward.  
  
"Celeborn-Lantuan," she affirmed.  
  
The goblin scratched into the book with a quill pen, the turned it to them. "If you could all please sign here," he pointed to a blank space below his writing. Emara, Michelle, and Sass all signed in turn. Then, he took back the book. "How much do you wish to exchange, and how much would you like to deposit into your account?"  
  
"Fifty pounds in exchange, and two hundred to go into the account." Michelle got out her wallet. "How do I pay you?"  
  
"Just write a check to 'Gringotts.' We can give you the exchange now, and cash it in later." He proffered his quill pen, and Michelle wrote a check for two hundred and fifty pounds. Then the goblin got out two velvetish bags, and gave them to another goblin behind the counter. He also pulled out a few oddly shaped coins.  
  
"This," he said, holding up a gold one, "is a gold Galleon. There are seventeen Sickles," he showed them a silver coin, "to a Galleon, and twenty- nine Knuts to a Sickle." He lifted up the smallest one, which was bronze.  
  
Just then, the other goblin returned. The bags he held were now bulging. He gave them to the goblin at the counter, who pushed them across to Emara and Michelle. "Here is your exchange. Is there anything else we can do for you?"  
  
Just then, the other Scouts, who had been having a whisper conference, stepped up. "Yes," said Serena, "we'd like one yen in exchange. That's about 200 pounds. No account for us though, thanks."  
  
The goblin bowed to her and sent the goblin off for more money. He took Serena's coin and gave it to the other one when it came back, then pushed her bag across the table, too. "Thank you for your business." He bowed once more as they left the bank.  
  
Sass blinked as they went outside into the bright sunlight. She looked to Emara. "So, where to now?"  
  
Emara looked puzzled for a moment before she remembered the map. "Uh, a wand shop called Ollivander's. That way." She pointed to her left.  
  
"Well, let's go then," said Raye, and they turned down the street.  
  
* * * * *  
  
After winding their way through the hot, crowded streets of Diagon Alley, Sass and the Scouts were all glad to enter the cool shade of Ollivander's wand shop. It was a small, dusty place that reminded Sass of the library she'd once been in. Small boxes were stacked to the ceiling on either side of them, and one small antique chair sat in the middle of the floor. Although a bell had rung in the back of the shop upon the group's arrival, no one appeared.  
  
"Hello?" Emara called towards the back. "Is anyone here?"  
  
"Yes, and a good afternoon to you." An old man, as spindly as the chair, stepped out of the gloom. "But I don't think I recall seeing any of you before. New to magic?"  
  
Sass stepped forward. "Yes. I'm going to Hogwarts this year."  
  
"And you are?" he asked.  
  
"Sasina Celeborn-Lantuan."  
  
"Hmm. Strange, very strange. I seem to sense. but he turned to the Dark long ago. And you are different. But you are here for a wand, correct?"  
  
Sass nodded. "Yes." She wasn't sure /how/, exactly, he was going to pick a wand for her, but she stopped pondering it when he pulled a tape measure off of a shelf.  
  
"Are you right or left handed?" he queried.  
  
"Left," Sass replied.  
  
"All right then, hold out your arm. Yes, like that." He measured about every place imaginable, but the strangest thing was that after a few tries, the tape measured on its own. Mr. Ollivander was actually taking boxes down from the shelves, and he was talking to her, as Sass realized with a start.  
  
"- contains a magical core that gives it its power. Here, at Ollivander's, we use unicorn hairs, feathers from a phoenix tail, and dragon heartstrings. This, of course, means that no two wands are ever exactly the same, as there are rarely two wands with a core from the same particular creature. And your wand will always work better for you than for anyone else. Now, you can stop." He pointed at the tape measure, and it dropped to the floor. He put the boxes on the chair, picked one up, and brought it over to Sass. "Very well. Now, take this. Rather unusual, but why not? Rowan wood, thirteen inches, with unicorn hair. Just wave it about, that's right."  
  
Sass lifted the wand slowly. She felt a strange tingling inside her, as though she had just drunk a soda. She swished the wand down, and she felt something slide out of her. And as the wand reached the bottom of its swing, a silvery shadow burst out of it, and for the moment it remained, Sass had a strange feeling of careless happiness, as though nothing could ever hurt her again, and two words sounded in the back of her mind-  
  
/expecto patronum, expecto patronum./  
  
Then the shadow disappeared in a burst of light, leaving everyone in the room staring at the wand.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! It only takes a few seconds, and it makes me so happy. 


	3. Friends And Enemies

Hey! Finally Sass sees some action! Malfoy (no, she's not Mary-Sue, I just had to put that in. Malfoy gets to her eventually). fighting. ooh. ok, sorry.  
  
For inf, bolds are in *.* and don't forget that memories are . and if anyone knows how to DELETE chapters, as opposed to just replacing them, PLEASE tell me! Thanks.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 3- Friends and Enemies  
  
After a moment, Mr. Ollivander cleared his throat and said, "Well, looks as though that's the wand for you. Strange, quite strange. Most don't get it on the first try- but you'll be wanting the wand now." He walked over to Sass and took the wand, wrapping it in brown paper before he put it back in its box. They paid seven galleons for the wand, and left.  
  
Sass shivered as they headed back to the Leaky Cauldron, although it was still quite warm out. They hadn't planned on coming back this early, but everyone was a little freaked out after Sass' wand had made its display. So, after getting Sass fitted for robes, they decided to have an early dinner at the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
After a wonderful dinner, Sass was happy as she fell into her bed, but sleep eluded her. What would this school be like? What if she was terrible at everything? She also pondered the way her wand had shown it was hers. Surely not everyone's wand did the same thing. Why had hers chosen a misty, silver shadow? She thought she would never get to sleep, but at some point, she must have blinked, because oblivion found her.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The next morning, she put aside her worries of the night before. The day was bright and sunny, and they managed to get going early enough that a little of the morning's freshness was left as they exited the Leaky Cauldron. She wanted to preserve every bit of this memory as well as she could. But, unfortunately, the rest of that week was something of a whirl to Sass. That day flew by like a squall, and before she knew it, they were back at the Leaky Cauldron once again, this time sporting Sass' robes, books, potions supplies, and other equipment. That night she had no trouble sleeping. She was too tired.  
  
The next two days also passed quickly. Sass found that all she could think about was Hogwarts. So although she did have fun, Sass was glad when she found herself staring at the ceiling above her bed once again on August 31st, wondering what the dawn would bring.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Wake up, sleepyheads!" Sass shook Emara and Michelle into wakefulness the next morning. "We've got to be at King's Cross in two hours!"  
  
Michelle just rolled away from her, but Emara groaned and sat up. "Well, I suppose you should go wake up the others. Don't worry," she continued as Sass raised an eyebrow, "we'll get up on our own."  
  
Sass shrugged and complied. As she went down to breakfast, she noticed a large group of people all eating together. One of them, a skinny, green- eyed boy, seemed familiar, but she couldn't place his face. The rest of the family seemed to be redheads. However, Sass and the scouts left quite awhile before they were finished, and she put it in the back of her mind in the bustle of finding their way through London. When they finally got to King's Cross, Sass pulled her suitcase out of the trunk.  
  
"You guys sure you want to come in with me? I know you've got a tour at eleven-fifteen."  
  
"It's no problem," said Michelle, "I want to make sure you get on the train okay."  
  
Sass shrugged, and let Emara take the lead as they maneuvered their way through the train station. She walked slowly, letting the others go in front of her. All of her worries from the night before came rushing back. Lost in her thoughts, she almost tripped over Serena as she stopped abruptly. "Well, I guess we're here." She heard Emara's voice from the front. "Sass? What do we do next?"  
  
She wiggled between Serena and Raye to get up to Emara. "Just walk on through. That's what the letter said." She put her hand against the barrier. "Well, lets see." She leaned against the barrier, and found herself falling through.  
  
Sass landed in a heap with her suitcase on top of her. She groaned, and opened her eyes. A plump, red-haired woman was standing over her, looking concerned.  
  
"Are you all right?" she said. "Here, let me help you." She extended a hand, but Sass had already started getting up.  
  
"I think I'm fine," Sass replied, feeling like an idiot. "I'm sorry I worried you."  
  
The woman smiled at her. "Oh, it's not a problem. I just wish my own ones were as polite." She looked over Sass' shoulder. "Oh, are you her mother? A lovely child you have."  
  
Sass turned and saw that Michelle had come through the barrier behind her and was grinning.  
  
"No, I'm her guardian. Thank you so much for your concern. I'm Michelle Lantuan." She extended her hand to the woman, who shook it warmly.  
  
"Molly Weasley. Pleased to meet you. First year at Hogwarts?" she said to Sass.  
  
Sass nodded affirmatively. Mrs. Weasley smiled. "I've two graduates and five there presently. You're sure to love it there. Everyone does."  
  
"I'm sure she will." Michelle put a hand on Sass' shoulder. "Maybe we'll see each other sometime again."  
  
"Yes, that would be lovely." The woman turned to look towards the train- red! The train was red? It was long, and had the words Hogwarts Express written on the side. But it was bright red! Sass had seen a great many trains in her life, and none of them were red, or even anything resembling the bright scarlet of this one. Sass tore her eyes away from it, telling herself it was probably a magic thing. When she looked back to Michelle, the woman was gone, and in her place were all of the others. Sass checked her watch.  
  
"I'd better find a spot on the train. It leaves in five minutes." She stood awkwardly for a moment, looking at Emara and Michelle. "Well, bye then. I'll see you in June, I guess." She looked others and said, "It's been wonderful meeting you all. I guess I'll see you again, too."  
  
Sass started to turn away from them, until she heard Emara's voice. "Hey wait a minute!" She turned back and both Emara and Michelle stepped forward and hugged her. "You didn't think you were getting out of here without a hug, did you?" Sass shook her head, and, with surprise, felt tears coming to her eyes. She remembered the last time someone had hugged her like this. /Mr. Snapel- Sam-/ she brought herself back to the present and smiled, stepping back. "Thanks." She widened her gaze to the others, who were mostly looking a little embarrassed. "Thank all of you for everything."  
  
Then she turned, and stepped onto the train.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Inside was a bustle of the shouting voices students reuniting with old friends and finding places to sit. Sass stopped, feeling all of a sudden very alone. /But that's nothing new, she told herself, as a matter of fact, it's the story of my life up until two months ago. I can deal with this./ She stood up straighter, and allowed her expressionless "game face" to slip on. Even now, it was easier than just letting her emotions through.  
  
She started down the aisle, checking the compartments as she passed them. When she was about halfway down, she felt a jerk as the train started. But after that, the movement was actually very smooth. She could hardly feel it as she continued on. The aisle had mostly cleared now, but there was still one girl roaming. As they passed each other, she smiled.  
  
"Hey. Are you a first year?"  
  
Sass nodded.  
  
"I'm Ginny. Second year. Nice to meet you. What's your name?"  
  
"Sass."  
  
Ginny tilted her head. "Are you from a muggle family?"  
  
Sass shrugged. "Dunno, but I grew up not knowing about magic, if that's what you mean."  
  
"Close enough. You want to put your stuff with my friends and me? I mean, once you get Sorted and everything you'll have friends in your own year, but for now you can hang with us."  
  
"Really?" Sass said.  
  
"Of course. Come on. I was just looking for them when I ran into you. My brother made me leave him and his friends." She rolled her eyes. "Let's go!" She smiled again and turned down the hall.  
  
Sass followed her gladly. After all, where else was she going to sit?  
  
* * * * *  
  
After she put away her bags, though, Sass left Ginny's compartment to roam. She didn't know how anyone could talk so much and still have a jaw. The relative silence of the aisle was a welcome relief. She decided to try and do a few of her martial arts routines while she had the time. Ever since the other Scouts had come, there just hadn't been time to do them as often as she liked. She centered and began the routine, starting with the slow, stretching movements that would help her muscles warm up and relax.  
  
As she got into the routine, it wasn't just her muscles that relaxed. This was something she was /good/ at, and it was so peaceful. Strange that the movements, designed as war training, would feel peaceful, but there it was. Sass pulled off her coat as she started to sweat. She was just in her T- shirt and sweatpants, going through the punches, blocks, and kicks. This always made her feel like she was the only one in the world, just her, the movements, and getting them right.  
  
Unfortunately, that wasn't true. Sass had started the cool-down part of the sequence, about an hour later. A boy with slick blonde hair exited one of the compartments, flanked by two hulks, which were obviously his henchmen. Sass had seen enough bullies to know this one. But she stayed polite, just in case the two had some tricks up their sleeves.  
  
She stopped moving, knowing she would regret /that/ later. "Hello," she said evenly.  
  
The blond tilted his head back in disgust as he reached her. He was about six inches taller that her, and, not for the first time, she wished she'd gotten more food as a kid. "You're one of /them,/ aren't you?" he said down his nose.  
  
"One of what?" Sass had no trouble keeping her face and voice smooth, but inside she darkened with anger.  
  
He rolled his eyes at his cronies. "A muggle," he said in a voice of utter loathing.  
  
"I'll never know, because I was put in an orphanage when I was a month old. Honestly, some people." She knew where she was going now.  
  
The boy actually looked worried for a second. This was going to be easier that she'd thought. But he got his mask of loathing back on before he spoke. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Have you ever heard of the saying, 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?'" Now she matched his look exactly.  
  
He laughed. Was there a hint of nerves in it? "Do you mean I should abide by it?"  
  
"No," she didn't say it, but the 'fool' was there. "I say something different. If you can't say anything /smart/ then keep your mouth shut." She paused. He didn't know what to say to that. "Don't know what I mean? That's okay; I can explain it. Your insult just now. It was lame. Heritage is never a good insult, unless you know the person will be jibed by it. And I think you are the /only/ one who cares /what/ my parents were. So you should have just stuck to hello, and moved on." Sass paused for effect. "Get it now?"  
  
She could see he was dumbfounded, and it made no sense to stay until he recovered his wits. She turned on her heel and walked down the aisle, where she noticed Ginny staring out of the compartment along with the rest of her friends. She was motioned in, where they surrounded her, chattering excitedly.  
  
"Wow! That was /amazing/!"  
  
"The look on his face!"  
  
"You smashed him!"  
  
"Finally, he's finally getting some of his own back!"  
  
"I wish I could do that!"  
  
"How did you even think of what to say?"  
  
When the clamor finally died down, Sass found she was something of a hero, no matter that all of these girls were a year older than her. She smiled shyly, not used to the attention. They certainly seemed nice, but she had firsthand experience with the way people could turn on you at a moment's notice. And there was no way they were going to let her back out into the corridor now, even though she was sweaty from her workout. When the lunch cart came around, she found herself bustled out into the aisle along with the rest. She only then realized how hungry she was. But all of her money was buried in her suitcase, and she didn't feel like digging it out. She was just about to resign herself to going hungry when the other girls noticed she hadn't bought anything.  
  
"Aren't you going to have any lunch?" one of them asked, a brunette named Clara.  
  
Sass shrugged uncomfortably. "I'm not really hungry," she lied.  
  
"No way!" she said, laughing. "Everyone's hungry on the Express! Hey, tell you what. I'll spot you for lunch. No, no," she said over Sass' feeble protests, "I insist. It's worth it just having seen the look on Malfoy's face!"  
  
"Oh, so that's his name?" Sass gave up trying to be a martyr. There was no reason /not/ to accept, after all.  
  
"Yeah," the girl said as she purchased more stuff from the cart. "His family's devilishly wealthy. 'S Dad's one of the school governors. And he makes sure there's not a soul in the school who doesn't know it."  
  
Sass nodded in understanding, then let their chatter flow around her as she contemplated her actions. /Did he really deserve that?/ some part of her asked. /They all say he's a jerk, but what if he's actually a good person, and this started with them? /  
  
/But he started it,/ she told herself. /He was condescending, rude, and he insulted me, although it's not a very good insult, like I told him. And they said he brags about his family at school, which implies very genuine jerkiness, especially since they all already know about it./  
  
/And then there's that./ A new part of her, the criticizing bit, jumped forward. /You just made an enemy of him, you idiot. No one here knows you, no one trusts you, and most likely none of them will defend you against him. Do you really think you can afford to have an enemy as powerful as that?/  
  
/Yes. That I can do, if nothing else. I lived most of my life with nothing and no one to protect me. I can protect myself. And I can always run away. There's nothing keeping me here, after all. But I won't need to. You have to admit that I can cope with pretty much anything./  
  
That finally did it. The voice quieted down and she was able to eat her lunch.  
  
* * * * *  
  
As the afternoon went on, the sky outside grew darker and darker, adding to Sass' sense of being closed in. So in a lull in the others' constant conversation, she quietly slipped once again out into the corridor. She looked around, surprised to see that she was alone. Sass looked at her watch. It was about four-thirty, which meant that they probably wouldn't be on the train for too much longer. She remembered one of the girls saying something about the feast they were going to have at dinner. Presumably that meant they would be at Hogwarts by then.  
  
Sasina gently stretched her muscles, feeling the ache where she hadn't gotten to loosen up earlier. She allowed her mind to drift, putting her in a state that was almost a trance. /Let it flow./  
  
* * * * *  
  
What awoke her was the gradual stopping of the train. Sass stood up and looked around. It was raining really hard. She wondered when that had started. She yawned and headed for Ginny's compartment for her trunk. /I hope the food at the school is good/, she thought. /I'm /hungry/, and I think I'd eat pig slops. God knows I've eaten worse./  
  
The train stopped with a jolt, which she immediately compensated for. She continued to walk down the corridor as heads popped out on either side of her. Suddenly all the lights went out. /Somehow I don't think this is supposed to be happening,/ she thought. She immediately dropped down into a defensive crouch, all of her senses hyper-aware. She heard footsteps shuffle in the corridor, then the sound of voices as they found the people they were looking for. /That sounds like Ginny. Maybe she went to find her brother./ Then her attention snapped back to the front of the train as the doors opened with a cold blast of air.  
  
In the dim light from outside, she saw black, cloaked, figures entering the train. They moved quickly down the train, splitting up so that one entered each compartment. Their efficiency scared her. So did the gasps and moans that came from some of the compartments they entered. Some emerged quickly, but others stayed for an achingly long time. Then they were approaching her. One, two, three, then four came to face her. She tensed, ready to fight them however she could, but then they stepped closer, and she started to fall.  
  
The lash hit her back, and the pain nearly caused her to cry out, but she bit her lip. Noise would make for more lashes; that she knew. Milord Paul's voice filled her ears, screaming at her. And then the pain began, the complete, mind-searing pain.  
  
She was worthless, absolutely worthless. Why had the stranger in the competition withdrawn? She wasn't worth it. /But it was worth it/, she thought suddenly. /They adopted me/. *what?*  
  
All of a sudden she was able to think, no longer trapped in the memories, though they grew steadily worse- beatings, starvation, being forced to practice even when she was delirious with pain. /There has to be a way to break this/, she thought. /But what?/ Then the scene in Ollivander's came back to her. But she started to lose it even as she thought of it. /No- I have to beat this, or I'm dead meat. what was it? I felt /happy/, that's it! What were the words, what. /were/. they? Expo- expecto-/ She felt the pain tugging at her, pulling, pulling. Then, just before she lost it, the words came. She grabbed her wand from her pocket without a second thought and said them- "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" She felt, almost through a haze, that same thing slide out of her, and a burst of silver mist shot out of her wand. The things, /there are more of them now,/ stepped back, obviously surprised. She continued to concentrate on the way she had felt at the shop, the wonder and shock, the fizzy feeling in her stomach, the /happiness/. But it wasn't enough- some of them had left, now, and the lights were back on, but the rest were staring straight at her, and she got the feeling they were angry... and she couldn't keep this up. she felt the memories reaching for her again, and prepared herself for it. /No-/  
  
Mua ha ha, my first good cliffie, but the next chapter's already up, so I guess it doesn't matter. pooh. REVIEW!!!!!! 


	4. Discovery

Well, here's the next chap. There's a Sorting Ceremony (I even made a song!), and stuff like that. please tell me if you thought it was good!  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 4- Discovery  
  
  
  
Suddenly a man, slightly worn looking, stepped up beside her. He spared her a quick glance of shock before saying the same charm she herself had spoken- "Expecto patronum." And the same silver shot out of his wand at them. But he was obviously better than her, because the creatures started to back away. Then, all in a rush, they turned, and jumped from the moving train.  
  
Sass felt her legs start to buckle underneath her and reached out to the wall for support. She closed her eyes and assessed the damage. /Funny. I'm not really at all hurt. I'm just completely exhausted. Well, that's probably from the magic/. She opened her eyes when she heard the man say, "Who, exactly, are you?"  
  
She replied, smiling a little at the expression of shock on his face, although she didn't know why it was there. "I'm a new student at Hogwarts. My name is Sasina. You?" She was too tired to be polite.  
  
He smiled, and his expression grew a little less shocked. "I'm Professor Lupin. I'll be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts. Er- sorry if I seem a bit peculiar. I was very surprised that you knew the Patronus Charm. I'm even more impressed since you're a first year. That's supposed to be very advanced magic."  
  
"Oh, so that's what it's called." Sass let herself slide to the floor so she was sitting. "I don't really know it, just a weird coincidence," she said, concentrating to stay focused. "I'd tell you about it if I weren't so tired." /And something else/, she thought. Now that the danger was over, she was starting to relive the memories she had forced away while fighting. "What were those things?"  
  
"Dementors. They guard our- wizards' that is- prison. It's called Azkaban." He sighed. "I don't agree with it. Dementors are evil creatures."  
  
"I sorta figured that out." She put her head between her knees.  
  
He nodded, a little. "I would like to talk about your 'weird coincidence' sometime, if you don't mind." At her nod, he continued. "But for now I would suggest that you rest up. The train should arrive at any minute now. And here," she heard a snapping sound and looked up to see him proffering a large chunk of chocolate. "Eat this. It will help with the memories and the tiredness." He bent over and helped her up, then put the chocolate in her hand. As she started to eat it, not knowing why she trusted him so much, she felt warmth spreading down to her toes. He smiled at her surprised expression, and then headed for the front of the train. She watched him go, then turned back to the compartment where her trunk was, wondering what, exactly, had just happened.  
  
* * * * *  
  
She sat in the compartment for the rest of the trip in something of a daze. Fortunately, the other girls seemed somewhat shaken by the dementors, too, and were disinclined to talk. She could not come to terms with the memories that haunted her, and the dementors had brought all of them rushing back. She remembered.  
  
Sitting in a corner of the corridor, sobbing brokenly. Milord Paul had threatened to beat Bobby if she didn't improve in her training. Then there had been the grueling workout, which had ended in at least two bruised ribs for her, and, as always, the pain in her left foot.  
  
She was alone. There was no one but Bobby, and he was little comfort. Far more often she was the strong one, caring for his small scratches the best she could, listening to his tales of the mean kids teasing him. She always tried the best she could to not let him know that her life was so much worse. She loved him, though, with all of her heart. /Not that there's anyone else to love/, was her bleak thought. She put her head between her knees, and cried, and cried, until the tears wouldn't come. Then she just rocked back and forth, unable to express her mourning. She was silent. Always silent, or else Milord Paul would find out, and then there would be more beatings, and more pain. / Why me?/ she cried out silently. /Why couldn't I be a normal five-year-old, with someone who loved me?/ But that would never be. She was alone here, forever.  
  
Once again, the gradual stopping of the train brought her out of her reverie with a jolt. She stood up and went to get her trunk, trying to shake off her melancholy, but everyone else was just leaving. Noticing her confusion, Clara (the girl who had bought her lunch, she remembered) smiled kindly. You don't have to get your trunk. They take our things up for us. Didn't you hear the announcement? C'mon."  
  
"Thanks." Sass followed her off the train and out into the cold rain. It beat down on her head as she looked around, trying to see where she was supposed to go now. Then she heard a loud voice yelling above all of the students and the rain. "Firs' years this way!"  
  
Sass started towards the voice, and eventually could make out the figure of the person doing the calling. The only problem was that he seemed to be over ten feet tall! He continued calling into the rain as she made her way to his side. "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! Any more firs' years? All right now, follow me! And watch yer step!" He headed off into the darkness, and Sass followed him, stumbling along in the wake of his lantern. They started to descend a narrow path, and Sass could hear some of the others tripping and stumbling. The path bent suddenly, and Sass came around the corner, feeling her mouth open in shock. The path opened up onto a dark lake, and across it was a huge castle on top of a cliff. It had far too many turrets and towers to count, and the numerous windows twinkled brightly. She broke her gaze away from it with difficultly as the man pointed to a fleet of small boats. "In ye get, now," he said. "No more'n four to a boat! No more'n four!" Sass climbed into one, followed by a tall, strong-looking blonde, and a pair of twins with round faces and light brown hair. All of them looked just as drenched as she.  
  
Suddenly, Sass heard the man yell, "FORWARD!" and the boats smoothly glided out onto the water. They were all silent, as the giant castle loomed closer and closer. Then it was right on top of them, and Sass ducked her head, as instructed by the man, as the small fleet swished through a curtain of ivy and into a dark tunnel, which was at least out of the rain. Then the boats stopped at a small gravel bar, where they all climbed out.  
  
The man led them up a passage with rock walls, and then they came out on the lawn right in front of the castle. A last flight of stone steps, and the doors swung open to reveal a tall, severe-looking woman in black robes. She stepped aside, and they all crowded into the hall. It was huge! Sass had thought Michelle and Emara's home was large, but you could have fit twenty of them in here and still had space left over. Torches were lit in decorated brackets on the walls, and a large marble staircase led upwards. The woman nodded to the man who'd led them here. Then she gestured for the first years to follow her. Leaving him behind, they entered the stone hall. Sass figured the Great Hall must be through a door on the right, because there were sounds coming from it. However, the woman showed them into a small chamber to the left.  
  
"I am Professor McGonagall." The woman's voice rang out over them. "I would like to welcome you, one and all, to Hogwarts. There will be a feast shortly, to celebrate the beginning of the term, but first you must be Sorted into your houses." Sass wondered what they had to do for the Sorting. Some kind of magic? But she didn't know any magic! "You will be Sorted into one of four Houses: Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Slytherin," Professor McGonagall continued. "This is very important, because while you are at Hogwarts, your House will be like your family. Good behavior will earn points for your House, while rule breaking will lose points. The House with the most points at the end of the year will receive the House Cup.  
  
"The Ceremony will take place shortly, in the hall. I will return when we are ready. Please be quiet while you wait." With that, she left.  
  
All of a sudden, whispering broke out all over the room. The blonde from Sass' boat turned towards her. "My name's Sandra Woods," she said, holding out her hand. Sass returned the handshake as she replied.  
  
"I'm Sasina Celeborn-Lantuan. Do- you know what we're going to have to do?"  
  
Sandra smiled, a little hesitantly. "That's a mouthful. Yeah- we only have to try on this hat, and it says where we go. My brother- Oliver, he's a seventh year in Gryffindor. Graduating this year. He told me."  
  
"Oh." Sass nodded, a little tongue-tied. "Thanks. Anyway, you can call me Sass for short. Everyone does." She smiled too.  
  
"You can call me Sandy. Or whatever. I wish they would hurry up," she said. "I'm starving. Lunch seems ages ago."  
  
Sass started to reply, but was interrupted by Professor McGonagall's return. "Come on now," she said. "We're about to start. Make a line and follow me."  
  
Feeling slightly nervous, but not willing to show it, Sass fell into step with the other first years as they walked back into the hall, then through a large set of double doors into the Great Hall.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The place was amazing. The Hall seemed to open directly into the heavens. Furious purple clouds scudded across it. But there was no rain in the hall, and it was quite warm, so it had to be more magic. Sass wouldn't have been able to tear her eyes away if she hadn't been walking. But there was more. Thousands of candles floating in midair illuminated the Hall. All the other students sat at four tables, highlighting the sparkling golden cutlery that sat in front of them. Another table sat crossways to them, where all the teachers sat. Sass' eyes were drawn to a white-haired man sitting in the middle in a fancier seat, almost a throne. The candlelight flickered on his half-moon glasses. Professor McGonagall led them to this table, so they stood with their backs to the teachers, facing all the other students.  
  
She placed a stool in front of the first years, and then gently put a ratty, torn hat onto it. Sass supposed this must be the hat they had to try on. Everyone in the hall was staring at it. Now Sass' nervousness came back in full force. What if she wasn't good enough? What if the Hat said she wasn't a witch, after all? Then she saw the hat twitch, and a long rip opened up along the side- and it started to sing.  
  
Once, four great wizards lived,  
  
Who were known in word and deed  
  
They shared a single great idea  
  
And all of them agreed,  
  
That they should make a magic school  
  
Hogwarts was its name  
  
And so created was the place  
  
That is now of great fame  
  
Those four then made four houses,  
  
One for each of them,  
  
That they might pick the students  
  
With traits that they thought gems  
  
Godric Gryffindor chose those  
  
Who were daring, brave and true  
  
His students were all chivalrous,  
  
Bold deeds they would all do  
  
Sweet Hufflepuff was kind,  
  
And unafraid of work,  
  
Her chosen ones were loyal,  
  
Their tedium was never shirked  
  
Now Rowena Ravenclaw, she was  
  
Most beautiful and most wise  
  
She chose students bright and learned,  
  
Or those that had old eyes  
  
Slytherin was another sort,  
  
He chose ambitious ones,  
  
He was cunning, clever, he was shrewd,  
  
His students usually won  
  
Now in one of those four houses,  
  
Each child had to be put,  
  
But when the founders passed away,  
  
How would they then do it?  
  
The founders then created a hat,  
  
That had some brains, for see,  
  
Now that hat can Sort the children  
  
And that hat is me!/  
  
The song ended, and everyone clapped and cheered. Professor McGonagall stepped forward and spoke. "When I call your name, you will step forward and sit on the stool, then put the hat on your head. After you are sorted, go and sit at your house's table. Now," she unrolled a long piece of parchment, "let the Sorting begin!  
  
"Avery, Lucille!" A redheaded girl stepped up nervously and put on the Sorting Hat. She sat there for a moment, then jumped as the Hat yelled, "Slytherin!" She ran over and sat at the second table from the right as they clapped. Sandra whispered into Sass' ear, "I almost feel sorry for her. From all accounts, she's really nice, but her parents were Dark Wizards who ran off and left her, and now she's been sorted into the house that turned out every bad 'un there was."  
  
Sass frowned a little as "Calleigh, Tim!" was sorted into Hufflepuff, the table on the right. "Tell me more about that," she started to say, but was interrupted as Professor McGonagall's voice rang out. "Celeborn-Lantuan, Sasina."  
  
Sass' head snapped up. She smiled nervously as Sandy winked at her, then stepped forward and sat on the stool, making sure she didn't betray just /how/ nervous she was. Sass put the hat on and let it fall over her eyes. There was silence for a moment, and then she heard a small voice in her right ear. "Hmmm. So. Clever, very smart, but strong, too- not afraid of dirt and hard work. But you're brave- ah, yes, and been through a lot. A right puzzle, you are. I wonder." and here it paused as if lost in memory, ". well, maybe.  
  
~~~  
  
What house is she gonna be in? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	5. An Old Acquaintance

Ok, next chap, um, Sass starts all her new classes here, and meets someone. Yeah, I know he's a git, but still.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 5- An Old Acquaintance  
  
  
  
".GRYFFINDOR!" The last word had been shouted to the hall, and Sass pulled off the hat to a sea of smiling, black-hatted faces. She walked slowly over to the Gryffindor table and say in an empty seat next to a tall, nice- looking boy. He smiled at her, then turned back as the hat Sorted "Damons, Wenda- Ravenclaw!"  
  
Sass looked at him for a moment, wondering why he looked familiar. Then she had it. "You're related to Sandra!" she burst out. He looked back at her. "The brother! Um, Oliver! She said you'd told her about the Sorting," she added as explanation, feeling shy.  
  
Oliver smiled, eyes twinkling. "That's me." He shook his head. "I'm gonna miss Hogwarts after I graduate. Hey- d'you play Quidditch?"  
  
"What?" Sass said cleverly.  
  
"Oh, you're muggle-born? Well, it's our sport, played on broomsticks. Everyone knows Quidditch. There's a lot of rules, but you can get Sandy to tell you them sometime, if you like. I was just wondering 'cause I'm the captain of Gryffindor's team."  
  
"Oh," said Sass. "Sounds fun." She was wondering how much more she was going to have to learn before she was used to the wizarding world.  
  
Looking back at the Sorting, she noticed that the twins she'd come across the lake with, "Lythell, Jessica and Marisa," were being Sorted into Gryffindor as well, sitting at the table a ways from Sass.  
  
The Sorting dragged on. Lunch had been a long time ago, and though she could deal with that, far harder to shake was her encounter with the dementors.  
  
She clapped hard when Sandra was Sorted into Gryffindor (only two people left!), though, and finally, with "Wulf, Martin," (Gryffindor!) and "Yanda, Brittany," (Ravenclaw!) it was finished.  
  
The silver-haired man from the middle of the table stood up, and Sass whispered to Sandra, "Who's he?"  
  
"Professor Dumbledore. He's the headmaster." Sass nodded. The man was speaking.  
  
"Welcome!" he said, beaming at the students. "Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by out excellent feast." He cleared his throat. "As you will be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is playing host to some of the dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business." He didn't seem to like them very much, thought Sass, simultaneously trying to figure out what the Ministry of Magic was.  
  
"They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds," Dumbledore continued, "and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission." /Well, why would we even /want/ to get past them?/ Sass thought. Professor Dumbledore continued. "Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises- or even Invisibility Cloaks. It is not in the nature of a dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the dementors." Sass bristled a little. /I can take care of myself/, she thought, /I don't need anyone playing nanny, thank you all the same./  
  
Dumbledore continued, "On a happier note, I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year.  
  
"First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." Sass noticed that the applause for him was rather unenthusiastic. Only she and a few other people actually clapped hard. The man looked even more tired that he had on the train.  
  
"As to our second new appointment," Dumbledore continued. "Well I am sort to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs." /Remaining limbs?/ Sass thought worriedly. "However," he said, "I am delighted to say that his place will be filled be none other that Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his gamekeeping duties."  
  
Sass clapped politely, although she noticed most of her fellow Gryffindors were going wild. She figured Hagrid must be the one who had brought them across the lake, as he was sitting at the High Table, turning beet red and wiping his eyes on the tablecloth.  
  
"Well, I think that's everything of importance," Dumbledore said. "Let the feast begin!" Sass watched the High Table as he sat down, and then gasped as it filled with food. She turned shocked eyes back to her own table, only to see that it, to was now groaning under the weight of so many dishes she couldn't even begin to count them all. After her shock wore off, Sass remembered her hunger and heaped her plate high with a little of everything. However, she never really was a big eater, and was ready for it to be over long before everyone else was finished. When at last the feast was over, she simply stood up, and followed the older student who told her to. She barely paid attention as he led them up several flights of stairs and to a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress, where all the other Gryffindors were clustered. He said the password (Fortuna Major) and the portrait swung out to reveal a cozy room lit by a large fire and many lanterns. The boy turned back to the first years and said, "Girls dormitory is at the top of the staircase, boys' right below it." Then he turned and went through another door, which Sass figured must be his dormitory.  
  
She walked up the spiral staircase (they must be in a tower) and at the top found a room with six four-poster beds hung with scarlet drapes. Sass had wanted to reflect on her day, but found that as soon as she had fallen into bed, she was asleep.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The next week passed in a whirl. Sass was no stranger to hard work, but it there was so much to do! She had so many classes- Charms, Herbology, Transfigurations- she didn't know how she'd ever learn it all. Of course, many others were having just as much trouble as she. After a whole Transfigurations class of trying to turn a match into a needle, she was the only one who'd done anything, and her needle was still made of wood!  
  
During her first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, Professor Lupin asked if she'd meet him Tuesday the eleventh at five to talk about the dementors.  
  
She learned so much about Hogwarts in her first day at Wizard Basics, a new class for muggle-born first years that her head was whirling.  
  
Sass also didn't know how she was coping with the stress. At every lesson, she was wondering if /this/ would be the one where she was so horrid that everyone recoiled in shock, and the teacher told her to go home. The only way to allay this fear was to work as much as she could.  
  
In her every minute of spare time she was practicing, doing homework, or doing background reading in the library. She was determined to learn as much as she could. One useful thing Sass had done was find out who the black-haired boy she'd been seeing everywhere was. He was Harry Potter, famous for causing the downfall of the Dark Lord Voldemort, who had been so feared that people /still/ refused to say his name.  
  
All of a sudden it was Friday morning, and there was just Potions class between her and the weekend. After breakfast she walked with Sandra down to the dungeons, where their schedules said to go.  
  
Sass walked into this class a little less nervous that for the other ones she'd been to. She didn't know why, maybe because she'd had time to hit the books by now, or maybe because after this she'd have been to all of her classes, for better or worse.  
  
She followed Sandy to a pair of seats near the back. "Best keep your head down in this class," she whispered to Sass. "Don't want to call attention to your smarts." Sass blushed a little. "We're double with the Slytherins and I've heard the teacher- Snape- favors them a lot."  
  
Sass calm vanished. She was in "combat mode" now. "Thanks," she whispered back. "I'll watch out."  
  
The dungeon door opened with a clang as someone strode in. /That must be Snape,/ Sass thought as she turned to look. But then she couldn't think at all.  
  
/It's him, it's him, it's him/.  
  
Slightly longer hair, and not as thin, but his features were unmistakable- it was Samuel Snapel, the teacher who'd been her salvation at the orphanage.  
  
As always, she cried silently. No knowing who might hear. Darkness surrounded her, filled her heart. She was so hungry. Her guts were one giant knot of ice, and her entire foot ached.  
  
/I can't take this anymore!/ she wailed in her head. /I'm just not strong enough!/ Sasina's next thought was logical, simple. Milord Paul had taught her to think like that. Suicide. /But how? I'll-/  
  
Footsteps echoed in the corridor. She huddled her small body into the shadows of her nook, praying she wouldn't be seen, all thoughts silenced. She closed her eyes to forestall their betraying light, praying. /please, oh God, please./  
  
The footsteps stopped. A soft, unfamiliar voice spoke from in front of her. "What's wrong?"  
  
Sasina's eyes flew open. What sort of question was that? And who would ask her such a thing? The man crouching in front of her must be new- he was tall, pale-skinned, with black hair. She watched him with care. "Who are you?" she said warily, though she wanted to trust him. /What? Never./  
  
"I am the new teacher here. My name is S-Samuel Snapel," he said. Why had he stuttered over his name? She filed it away. "I heard something and I came to see what it was. Can- can I help you?"  
  
She'd refused him then, but over the days he'd convinced her he meant well, and eventually managed to help her cope. /And save Bobby,/ she remembered.  
  
"Sass!" Sandra's elbow in her ribs made her blink and snap to the present. "What's wrong? You'd better pay attention, he's taking roll."  
  
Sass nodded, still trying to shake the memories. Sam- no, Professor Snape was going to reach her soon- she wondered if he remembered her-  
  
"Celebor-" he abruptly broke off, his eyes searching the room. "Sasina?"  
  
She raised her hand. "I wasn't expecting this either," she said.  
  
He looked as though she'd hit him with a board. "Yes. that's true," he said. Then he shook his head and look at her again. "I will talk to you after class," he said. Then he moved on with the attendance normally, except for several funny looks he gave her. Sass ignored the class' curiosity as he made a little speech, something about brewing glory and dunderheads, and then set them to work mixing their first potion, one that cured boils. She had trouble concentrating, and so she was surprised when her potion came out well, especially since so many others were having trouble. She observed Snape walking around the dungeon, correcting people. /He is easier on the Slytherins/, she realized. /I wonder why? And he seems to know them pretty- wait! Didn't I hear something about him being in charge? Head of the House, right?/  
  
He thoughts were broken when S-Professor Snape came over to look at her potion. "Perfect," he said after a moment. Sandy and the twins threw her a startled glance as he looked into Sandra's cauldron.  
  
"Miss Wood, your potion needs more dried nettles. I said half a cup, not a quarter." He frowned, started to say something else, then looked at Sass and stopped. Abruptly her turned and moved to the next table. One of the twins, Jessica, Sass thought, leaned over.  
  
"What was that all about?" she said to Sandra, pointedly ignoring Sass even though she'd been the cause. Sandy looked uneasy, but joined the twins in excluding Sass. /Fine/, thought Sass, a little hurt, /I'll ignore them too/. She sat back, letting her mind drift into the past.  
  
Samuel had signaled her today that he wanted to talk to her after class. She purposely dropped all her papers leaving, knowing Milord Paul would punish her for it, but not willing to miss a chance to talk to him. Samuel bent over to help her, looking worried.  
  
"I have some friends in the United States who say they can take a child. They're a little strange but you'd be fine there," he said a shade too quickly.  
  
Sass bit her lip. "Only one?"  
  
He sighed. "I hoped you would miss that. Yes, only one, at least for a year or two."  
  
Sass closed her eyes. "You know I can't leave Bobby," she said, chest tightening.  
  
Samuel looked away. "The problem is," he said, "I have to go. I've been called, and I can't take you with me. I thought I might be here longer, but it's not going to happen. So if you don't go now."  
  
"I won't get out until I'm legally of age," she said flatly. "And- never mind." Sasina took a deep breath, steeling herself.  
  
"I'm really very sorry Bobby can't come too," Samuel said quickly, trying to stop her from what he knew she'd do.  
  
Sass looked straight ahead, unblinking. "Send Bobby. I'll stay, here, I'll manage, somehow." /Nononononononoooooooo!/ her mind yammered. /No! Don't /do/ this! It's crazy! You /have/ to get out!/  
  
"Sass-" Samuel started.  
  
"No. I stay, he goes." She was proud that her voice didn't shake. "Thank you for saving him. I'll miss you and I'll never forget you." She rose, books in hand, and walked quickly out the door.  
  
The bell rang. /What?/ Sass thought. /Oh yeah./ She slowly began to pack her things as the others hurried out, still ignoring her except for Sandy, who gave her a small smile when Marisa wasn't looking. Despite differences, Sass saw the irony in the déjà vu.  
  
Snape walked over and sat in the seat vacated by Sandra. "So," he said after an uncomfortably pause. "How are you?" Then he shook his head impatiently. "No, how'd you get here? I just can't see Kincaid letting you come."  
  
Sass smiled a bit. "I got adopted."  
  
His jaw dropped. "How? By whom? And when?"  
  
"A new clerk. Stupid enough to let the parents see us before filtering. During school, no less. They picked me out- completely randomly- and were already filling out the papers by the time he got there. So I was out. Who- Emara and Michelle, cousins visiting for the summer from Tokyo. When- June. They're wonderful. I couldn't be happier."  
  
He nodded. "Bobby settled in just fine. Maybe sometime we can go meet him. I think you'd like my friends- they're elves." He smiled. "But all the rest can wait for later. I'm sure you have things to do, and I have another class after lunch. Would you like to meet in my office this evening, say, seven o'clock?"  
  
"That sounds fine. I- I guess I'll see you then, huh?" Sass stood up, feeling oddly formal.  
  
"Yes," he said, standing as well. Then to her surprise, he reached forward and hugged her, hard. "I'm glad you're alright," he said. "I've worried about you so much." Then he turned away and walked quickly to his desk, not looking at her. Sass turned and walked slowly to the door, feeling very surprised, but somehow, very happy.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Professor Severus Snape sat at his desk, lost in time. Despite his words to Sass, he was in no hurry to prepare for his next class. He remembered all the hours of agony after Albus Dumbledore had called him back to Hogwarts. He had returned the owl, saying he would come- there was no choice- but asking, practically begging, to bring the children Sasina and Robert back with him. His heart still ached from leaving her. /She was only seven!/ But there had been no choice. He was needed by the wizarding world, and those needs, in Dumbledore's mind, came after those of one little girl. So he had gone.  
  
But now she was here, and safe from the bastard. And Severus still couldn't figure out what Paul Kincaid had done to Sasina to fit the descriptions of some of the things she'd told him, all those years ago. It had sounded like the man had used Unforgivable Curses on her. But he wasn't a Death Eater. So far as Severus could tell, he wasn't even a wizard. So what was it?  
  
Severus sighed. Most likely he'd never know. But perhaps. An inkling of an idea came to him. When he had given Sasina charts to memorize, they hadn't been random. They were the ingredients and brewings of potions, simple ones, yes, but once she realized that, she'd be so far ahead of this class it would be a waste of time for her to even come. He thought about where he'd place her if /he/ could choose. Not with the second years, she'd already know most of the spells they'd be doing. But with the third years. Yes, that might work.  
  
And of course, she'd be just as ahead in Herbology. She'd need to be brought up in that class as well. Which would leave her free time, when the third years had /Defense Against the Dark Arts/. Severus might hate Remus Lupin, but the man was a good teacher, and Sass might be able to figure out what was going on, with Lupin's help.  
  
Professor Snape stood up and strode out the door, his robes billowing. He'd talk to Leah Sprout, the Herbology teacher, first, and then the headmaster. He smiled. He was glad that Sass was safe.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass /had/ intended to spend her free Friday afternoon studying, but she found it impossible to concentrate. So after lunch she wandered around the school, trying to memorize where everything was. She passed Harry Potter hurrying to his next class, talking with a brown-haired girl, and a boy who, she realized with a start, had been one of the large family she'd seen in the Leaky Cauldron on September first. She followed them down the hall, seeing they were headed to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. She had immensely enjoyed the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes she'd had so far. They were learning the theory behind minor curses and how to deflect them. There was something funny about the feeling of curses. She always got this funny itch in her left pinky toe, and she had /no/ idea why. She decided, on a whim, to go to the library and try and find out if this was normal. She couldn't think that it was, or else Professor Lupin would have said something, right? It was just too strange.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Although the afternoon didn't find any answers about her reaction to minor curses, Sass had been so fascinated by the books she'd found that she decided to skip dinner and keep reading. The librarian was ignoring her, which was just fine with Sass. It wasn't until five past seven that she remembered her appointment with Professor Snape. She slapped her book shut quickly and set off down the hall at a dead run, glad she'd taken the time to memorize these corridors. Two minutes later she skidded to a halt in front of Snape's office, and knocked politely, breathing lightly. The door opened immediately to reveal a dimly lit room whose shelves were covered with all manner of things. There was also a table which had two chairs pulled up to it. Sass smiled.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, Professor-"  
  
~~~  
  
What's up with this? Snape? Nice? Yeah, I know. 


	6. Heart To Heart

Hey, I'm sorry for the recap in this chapter, but some people I have reading this haven't read the books, so I need to put these things in. If you just can't stand to read it, tell me in a review and I'll add a summary of this chapter. Book titles from now on are in ^.^ k? Cool.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 6- Heart to Heart  
  
  
  
"You can still call me by my first name," Snape said, grinning.  
  
Sass raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I don't know it, since I'm assuming it's not Samuel."  
  
He smacked his head and rolled his eyes, looking a little embarrassed. "Of course, I'd forgotten. It's Severus. And please, sit."  
  
As Sass sat down, she saw Severus eyeing her, no doubt trying to see if she'd been getting enough to eat with Michelle and Emara. "I've been eating very well since I got adopted," she said bluntly, causing him to jump a little before sitting down himself. "Of course, I skipped dinner, so food would be perfectly welcome," she continued hopefully.  
  
Severus laughed, a soft, gentle laugh that would have surprised those who didn't know him well. He was not a man who laughed very often, but when he did, it was a treat. Then he magicked up a several dishes of food, which she eagerly helped herself to before looking back up at him.  
  
"You got the better part of my story today after class," she said, "but I still don't know that much about you. So tell. I want to hear everything you can stand to tell me, from childhood up."  
  
So as she ate, she listened to his life story, starting a little when he mentioned his rivalry with James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Rumus Lupin, though he wasn't telling her everything, she felt.  
  
"Isn't James Potter the father of Harry Potter? And are you talking about Lupin who teaches at this school?" she asked. Severus nodded. "Ah, so that's the reason behind 'Snape's legendary hatred of Harry Potter.'"  
  
Severus nodded. "The four of them were the most arrogant brats I'd ever met. We hated each other right from the start. " He continued, describing some of the things they'd done to each other, including the time Sirius Black tried to kill him, and Severus' subsequent discovery that- Severus stopped talking suddenly, and Sass wondered what he had kept from her, but nodded for him to continue. He told her that he'd become a Death Eater under Lord Voldemort, and how he had turned spy for Dumbledore about two years before the Dark Lord's downfall.  
  
"But why?" Sass asked. "Why did you turn? I know it was the right thing, but there must have been something that convinced you to go over."  
  
Severus' face clouded. "It was Halloween night. Lord Voldemort had planned an attack on a hospital in London that was particularly popular with witches. We swept in, hooded and cloaked as always. He instructed us very carefully. 'Kill only the adults,' he'd said. 'Leave the babies alive.' After we were done, he went to the nursery. Then he did something that completely disgusted me. He set each and every babe afire, and used that power, with help from us, to put a curse on the room. Babes delivered in that hospital on Halloween between sunset and midnight, he decreed, would be orphaned sometime in the first six months of their life. I was horrified. I always did have a soft spot for children- he probably should have ordered me to stay home that night.  
  
"The next day I apparated to outside Hogwarts and went straight to Dumbledore. He didn't trust me at first, but since I always told him the truth, he eventually came to rely on my spying. It was me who told him that there was a leak in /his/ system. I had no idea who, but I was sure there was. I tipped him off that Voldemort was after the Potters. I hated James, but I had come to understand that no one deserved the death that Lord Voldemort dealt out. But it turned out it was for nothing. Sirius Black, Potter's best friend, was the leak. They had used him to help them hide, and he betrayed them." Severus' face twisted bitterly. "They never deserved that. I know what Voldemort did to his victims before he killed them. I would wish that on no one."  
  
Then he sighed, and let the anger drain from his frame, slumping back in his chair. "After Voldemort fell, Dumbledore vouched for me, so I was not accused of being a Death Eater. But we agreed I had better lie low for several years until it all died down. So I pretended to be a muggle, and taught in orphanages all over London. I always felt the worst about the hospital. I thought that perhaps I could make up for what I had done by helping another orphan be successful. But no one ever really touched my heart, until."  
  
"Me," Sass said quietly.  
  
Severus smiled a little. "Yes, Sass," he said quietly. "You. And now, I have to ask you if you still want to talk to me."  
  
"Why?" Sass asked, surprised.  
  
"Because I think everything wrong in your life is my fault. The hospital we attacked burned down several years after Voldemort's downfall, but I always searched for children born on Halloween."  
  
Sass inhaled sharply. "I was born on Halloween," she said, her voice shaking.  
  
He nodded. "I checked your records after I found out. It was that hospital. And you were born at eleven fifty-two p.m. Sass- I'm sorry." She could see the naked anguish in his eyes.  
  
She tucked her knees up to her chest and curled up into a small ball. "It's alright," she said, holding back tears. "I understand. Good people do terrible things sometimes, and- well, you made up for it." She tried to smile a little, without success. Severus made a motion as if to stand up, then sank back down.  
  
"Do you hate me?" he asked quietly, looking at her.  
  
Sass thought long and hard. She did not want to lie to him. After what seemed like hours she looked up and met his eyes squarely. "No. I hate what you did. I hate Lord Voldemort. I do not hate you. I have a great deal of respect for you. You felt one way, but something changed your mind. You had the courage to admit this, and act on it, endangering yourself in the process. When you got the chance, you tried to help those that you hurt. And," she added, "you had the courage to tell me the truth, which I appreciate more than you can know. So," she reached her hand across the table, putting her feet back on the floor, "are we friends?"  
  
Severus reached out and grasped her hand, smiling. "I'd like that," he said. "Thank you, Sass. You are wise beyond your years.  
  
"Now, on a completely different note, I want to talk to you about your class schedule." At Sass' puzzled look, he continued. "Do you remember the lists I gave you to memorize? After Kincaid said he wanted you to have a better memory?" Sass nodded. "Well, for lack of anything better to use, I made those lists the brewing of simple potions." He nodded as understanding dawned on her face. "You are already as advanced in Potions and Herbology as a graduating second year. I have talked to both Professor Sprout and Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Sprout is delighted. I think Albus will agree to my plan- he said he'd think about it."  
  
Sass gasped. "You mean-"  
  
Severus grinned. "Starting next week, you have Potions and Herbology with the third years. Now, this means you will have to take History of Magic with them, but it also means you have several free periods, namely when they are in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfigurations. You will still be in those classes of your own, and one Herbology class with the first years every week, but I was wondering- would you like to go to those classes anyway?"  
  
Sass frowned for a minute, then grinned. "Sure! Why not? After all, I may need that knowledge next year for scheduling. So what I really need to do," she paused, "is hit my history books."  
  
Severus nodded. "I thought you might like this arrangement. This way I can teach you so much more than if you were in your regular classes. Just. have you ever met Professor Dumbledore, before you came to Hogwarts?"  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"Well, I expect it's nothing, it's just- well, he didn't really seem to like you. He can't have a problem with making an exception; he's done that enough times for Potter... He just seemed reluctant to put you in the advanced classes. And I wondered if he'd already gotten a bad impression of you."  
  
Sass shrugged. "I dunno. I can't think of why he wouldn't like me, unless it has something to do with my history. How much did you talk to him about me, when you left the orphanage?"  
  
"Not that much, actually. He obviously felt really bad for you, and I didn't want to bring it up. Bad enough that I couldn't stop thinking about it, I didn't think there was any reason to worry him." Severus paused. "But what could that have to do with anything?" Sass sighed. "I don't know Severus, I just don't." Then she started to yawn. She hid it, but not before Severus noticed.  
  
"God, it's almost two in the morning! No wonder you're tired. Go on," he said, shooing her out of his office, "back to sleep. If Filch catches you, send him to me. Good night," he said, opening the door for her. "Sleep well."  
  
Sass grinned back at him as she exited. "Don't worry," she said. "I will."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass couldn't wait for her new classes. She studied her history books intently, in addition to- well, everything except for Charms and Wizard Basics. She continued to meet about every other night with Severus, though, and after the third time Filch brought her back to Severus' office, he simply started ignoring her when he saw her out after hours. The only person she told about her schedule changes was Sandy, although she was a little nervous about it. She and Sandra were becoming good friends, despite the other first years, who had persisted in ignoring Sass ever since their Potions lesson. Sass supposed that Jessica and Marisa, the twins, had spread it around that Sass was sucking up to the Gryffindors' least favorite teacher, namely, Severus.  
  
Sass didn't worry about it, though she expected she would once she stopped having to play catch-up for her classes. As it was, she ordered ^The Standard Book of Spells^ in the nest two levels, plus a bunch of extra history books, and concentrated on committing as much as she could to memory. Monday afternoon was her first new class, History of Magic. The class was boring- it was taught by a ghost who had simply left his body behind one morning as he went to teach- but not horrible. Sass managed to stay awake throughout, and take some semblance of good notes.  
  
However, the /really/ bad part started right afterwards. As the class filed out of the room, Sass noticed several people giving her funny looks, especially the girls, who were more observant. Finally it came to a head as a third-year girl named Parvati Patil walked right up to her and said, "What are you doing in our class? You're a first year."  
  
Sass would have blushed if she hadn't been steeling herself for this very moment. Instead she replied evenly, "I have been moved up in several classes to this level, and so due to scheduling, I am taking five subjects with you."  
  
People who had been watching the exchange curiously drew back in horror, as if Sass had a terrible disease that might spread to them. Parvati looked disgusted. "I suppose this is all because you keep sucking up to Snape?"  
  
Sass sighed. There was no point in trying to explain to them, they wouldn't believe her even if she tried. So she said simply, "Yes."  
  
Parvati looked a little taken aback at that, but after a moment, she turned on her heel and left, as though she couldn't stand to be in Sass' company for a moment more. Sass walked down the hall, her expression unchanged, but inwardly she cried at the way the third years were drawing back from her with loathing expressions on their faces. /By this time next week/, she thought, /I bet there's not a single student in the school who doesn't cringe at the sight of me, Ginny and Sandra included/. She turned into a little-used corridor and walked glumly down it. /Not that I blame them. But- why can't people just be a little more accepting?/ She saw a bathroom on her right and stepped in, figuring it was as good a place to be upset as any. She was a little surprised, though, at the state of decay it was in. The mirror was spotty, the sinks were chipped, and one of the doors was hanging off its hinges. Sass shrugged inwardly. At least no one would be interrupting her.  
  
Suddenly, a /ghost/ flew through one of the stall doors, looking at Sass with curiosity. Sass knew that there were many ghosts at Hogwarts, but she had never actually seen one before, except, of course, for the History teacher. "Who are you?" Sass asked.  
  
The ghost, a slightly chubby girl with a dismal face, frowned. "I'm Myrtle," she said. "But who are /you/? /No/ one comes in here to pee anymore."  
  
Sass shrugged. "My name is Sass. I'm sorta upset and this was the closest place where I could be assured some privacy. Do you- er- /live/ here?"  
  
Myrtle nodded. "I died here, so this is where I live. That's the way it works." Then she looked hard at Sass. "Do- you want to talk about it?" she asked. "I used to come in here a lot to cry and I just /hated/ not having anyone to talk to."  
  
"Sure, why not?" Sass sighed. Then she perched on one of the sinks. "Well, I'm a first year here, in Gryffindor, that is."  
  
Several hours later, Sass' stomach gave a loud rumble, bringing her back to earth. She and Myrtle had gotten on quite well, one thing leading to another, and she had completely lost track of time. "Hey, Myrtle?" she said when there was a break in the conversation. "I have to go, or I'll miss dinner. I'll come see you again sometime, and feel free to visit me whenever." She jumped off the sink and headed for the door, waving. "See you!" As Myrtle waved goodbye, Sass smiled, much happier now that she had been before. She even whistled a soft tune as she went down to the Great Hall, ready to deal with the other students.  
  
* * * * *  
  
On Tuesday evening after a dismal dinner, in which Jessica had 'accidentally' dumped a bowl of mashed potatoes in Sass' lap, Sass headed for Professor Lupin's office. She really didn't feel like talking about dementors or anything else, but a promise /was/ a promise.  
  
She knocked softly, unnerved by the silence within. There was no answer, so she slowly pushed the door open.  
  
  
  
~~~  
  
What's in there? Go read the next chapter to find out! And PLEASE! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! 


	7. Surprising Implications

Ok, I'm sorry about the part of this chapter with malfoy in it. I thought it was extremely funny, and I know I said malfoy would get to her. He does. Just not yet. Ok? And here it comes.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 7- Surprising Implications  
  
Inside, Professor Lupin sat at his desk, head in his hands, with an expression of such mourning that Sass wanted to just sneak back out and pretend she'd never been there. But Lupin had looked up upon her entrance, and now gestured to her to enter.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, and she guessed, from his voice, that he'd been crying, "I forgot completely about our meeting. I got some- some bad news today."  
  
Sass almost offered to leave, but then she remembered Myrtle's offer, and their consequent friendship. She knew that Severus hated Professor Lupin, but that didn't mean she had to as well. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked tentatively.  
  
Lupin looked hard at her, as though surprised by the offer. /He's probably heard all the rumors and more about Severus' and my friendship/, she thought. But then Lupin spoke. "Alright then. It's going to be all over the school by tomorrow anyway." He sighed, as if wondering where to begin.  
  
"Well, my older brother and his family live in the United States," he said. "He and his wife work for the government in their capital, in a place called the World Trade Center. Early this morning several wizards from Afghanistan, suicidal religious fanatics, hijacked some commercial planes and crashed into the two WTC towers, as well as another building. I just got the news from my parents- they're both dead." He looked down, obviously too shocked for words.  
  
"I- was very close to my brother. After- I had some problems as a child, and he really helped me come through, despite danger to himself. And his wife was a wonderful woman. I- I'm really going to miss both of them." Sass surprised herself by empathizing with the man. Before she knew it, she had crossed over to his side of the desk and gripped his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry for your loss," she said, facing him squarely. "If there's anything I can do to help you, just let me know. Seriously. I know how it is to lose someone you love, and I would like to help you however I can."  
  
Lupin looked up, surprised. But as he looked into her eyes and read the pain there, he nodded slowly. "Thank you Sasina," he said. "I appreciate that."  
  
Then Sass grinned. "Call me Sass," she said. "Everyone does. And how about we postpone our talk about the dementors until, say, Saturday. Sound good?"  
  
Then he smiled too. "Sounds good, Sass. And. call me Remus."  
  
Sass nodded, then left.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass was almost right in her thoughts about the other students' reactions to her being moved up in classes. But, to her mild surprise, Sandra was sticking by her as best she could. She was nicer to Sass than anyone else, and never tried to trip her or insulted her.  
  
Another surprise was Sass' steadily growing friendship with Myrtle, who, she now knew, was called Moaning Myrtle by most of the school. She looked up some spells in the library, and now the damp and mold were gone from the bathroom, and two stalls had been combined to make a cozy little room where Sass could study, eat, relax, or sometimes even sleep, when the other girls decided to do something nasty to her bed.  
  
Sass was determined not to let the student's petty cruelty get to her. She always had Myrtle, Severus, Sandra, and was beginning to count Remus Lupin as another good friend. The dementors talk had gone well, and now she was meeting with either Remus or Severus almost every night. So even though it was miserable a lot of the time at Hogwarts, it was better than the orphanage, and Sass knew it would get better. But to her surprise, something changed very quickly, and although it didn't fix things, it certainly did make them better.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was Sass' third Potions lesson with the third year Gryffindors and Slytherins. She wished, as she brewed an Enlarging Solution (they had just finished with Shrinking Solutions), that she were in Hermione Granger's position. Sass was no smarter and no more stuck up than she, but Sass would bet that if /Hermione/ had been pushed up in some classes, she wouldn't be getting scorn and abuse from every student in the school. There would be a little unpleasantness, but mostly just sighs and shaking heads, because /everyone/ knew that /Hermione/ was smart. Unlike the little brat of a first year who'd made friends with /Snape/ to get pushed up.  
  
/And besides/, Sass thought wistfully, /I keep my head down in class. I'm never a know-it-all like she sometimes is. Oh well, that's life for you./  
  
She sighed and stirred her potion. She instantly regretted showing her moment of weakness, because Malfoy was sitting across from her and looked up slyly.  
  
"What's wrong, mudblood?" he said, not bothering to lower his voice. Sass was a little surprised. He had been reacting to all four Houses' raucous approval of torturing her by stepping it up, but this was the first time he had taunted her in a class. "Wishing you could go home?" he continued, smirking at the grins on everyone's faces, Gryffindors included. Sass sighed again and pressed a small button on her watch. Had he forgotten her friendship with Severus? Right now he was out of earshot, but with the ruckus this was causing, it wouldn't take long for him to see that something was up. "Oh yes," Malfoy sneered, "I'd forgotten. You don't have one. You're a," he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, "orphan. Poor child." He reached over as if to pat her on the head but stopped. "Oops. Wouldn't want to get my hands dirtied on you," he said, smirking.  
  
Sass looked to see what the rest of the class thought of this statement. She noticed that Harry Potter and his friends weren't smiling like everyone else was. Not that they felt sorry for her. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had been rivals with Malfoy before they'd even set foot in the school. Plus, Harry himself was an orphan, and Hermione was a 'mudblood,' so there were two more points against Malfoy. Sass sighed a third time and added her newts' tails to her potion. /This sighing is getting to be a habit/, she thought with a trace of grim amusement. /I should stop./  
  
She ignored Malfoy as his insults grew steadily more creative, moving from her parentage to their- and her- probable sexual orientation and pastimes. He then insulted her looks, her intelligence, and her eating habits. Sass was getting sick of it, though, and had started thinking about something that would shut him up when a sudden hush fell over the dungeon, which had begun to ring with the badly-hidden sniggers of her 'classmates.'  
  
She looked up to see Severus silently gliding over to her table, and smiled a little, touching her watch again. Malfoy apparently hadn't noticed, and was now moving on to the origins of her ancestors. Severus' soft voice cut across his sneering one like a whip. "What, exactly, is going on here, Mr. Malfoy?" he said silkily and completely neutrally.  
  
Malfoy looked /just/ like someone in a movie who's heard the bogeyman behind him. He started, and for a moment there was a look of total shock and horror on his face. But he recovered his composure quickly and turned to face Severus, sneering once again. "Sir," he said plaintively, "I was sitting here, minding my own business, brewing my potion," he gestured at his cauldron, his voice sickeningly sweet, "when she," no doubt who he meant, "slapped me on the face!" He showed Severus the side of his disgusting face, which was not at all red.  
  
"And then," he continued, "she reached over and dumped an extra /cup/ of thistles to my potion! I may have gotten a bit carried away," he said, sniggering a little, "but I was very frustrated, and it had just happened when you came over." Sass sighed. /Got to stop that. Fourth time this lesson!/ Malfoy had neglected his brew in favor of taunting her, and, predictably, it had turned bright pink (as opposed to ice blue).  
  
Malfoy sat back, his speech done, waiting for Severus to take the accustomed fifty points from Gryffindor. /I don't believe it!/ She thought in amazement. /Can he actually have forgotten that it's Severus I'm friends with?/ It certainly seemed likely, judging by the look on his face when Severus, instead of barking out something about detention and points, calmly said, "Is this true, Miss Celeborn?"  
  
Malfoy's mouth opened in shock. "No, Professor Snape," she said, just as calmly as he. "I did not touch him, and the problems with his brew are his fault and no one else's. And he had been cursing at me for," she looked down at her watch, "four minutes and fifty-nine point six-two seconds before you asked him what was going on."  
  
Sass hadn't thought that Malfoy's mouth could open any wider, but she was wrong. He gaped at her, completely and utterly flabbergasted. "You- you-"  
  
"I timed you," she said, fighting the urge to laugh in his face. Then she turned back to Severus. "Sir?"  
  
Severus smiled slowly, and looked from her to Malfoy and back again. "Mr. Malfoy, your rude conduct is shocking. I am very regretful that a student in my own house would use such shocking behavior. You lose thirty points, and you will have detention for the next week."  
  
Then he turned to Sass. "Miss Celeborn, I am impressed with your restraint in the face of Mr. Malfoy's rudeness. Take fifteen points." He walked back to his desk and delivered the parting shot over his shoulder.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, this is a warning. I will not accept this behavior in my class. Next time, it will be sixty points." Then he sat down in the chair at his desk and turned it so his back was facing them.  
  
Sass looked around at the puzzled students, and (a/n: guess what) sighed again.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The events of that Potions class dramatically changed Sass' standing with the other students, at least the Gryffindors. Jessica and Marisa, of course, still hated her and were mean at every opportunity, but those were fewer as the others weren't so into it anymore.  
  
Another unexpected event was when Hermione Granger took Sass aside the next time they were together in the library. "Look, Sasina, I'm sorry everyone's so mean to you about getting pushed up in the classes. You have to understand that we all hate Snape, and, well, frankly, for good reason. But I can see that you're a good kid, and, well, if you need help catching up in your classes, I'm glad to help."  
  
Then, before Sass could respond, Hermione had walked briskly away and buried her nose in a book, leaving Sass staring at her in total and complete shock.  
  
Thereafter, Hermione always helped Sass with her homework (when she needed it) and gave people who teased her glares that Sass thought should be able to melt ice. Sass was so happy to actually have some friends near her age, for really, the first time. On Hermione's suggestion, she took out a subscription of The Daily Prophet (a wizarding newspaper) to help her get caught up on news. There she found out about the escape of Sirius Black (an inmate at the wizarding prison of Azkaban), who, upon investigation, turned out to have been one of Voldemort's best spies- and the Potters' best friend.  
  
One thing puzzled her about the whole Boy-Who-Lived thing, though. Why had Voldemort wanted to kill Harry in the first place? It made no sense.  
  
She resolved to start looking for Black around the grounds. She had a hunch that, no matter what people said, he could, and had gotten in to Hogwarts. And her ability to avoid Paul's henchmen back at the orphanage had taught her to always follow her hunches.  
  
So that was why she left dinner early on her birthday, and walked, deadly silent, up to the Gryffindor common room, ready for anything.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass peered down the hall before her, struggling to see if anyone was there. The darkness obstruction, though she was pretty sure not as much as Black's would be, if he was here. She heard a noise, and froze instantly, shrinking into the shadows. As Mrs. Norris passed Sass, she breathed a sigh of relief. She had always gotten on well with cats. Whatever. When Mrs. Norris turned a corner, Sass unstuck herself from the wall and continued down the hall. Sass was almost to the Gryffindor Tower when she heard the noises. She dropped lower into her crouch and listened intently. It seemed like someone was arguing.  
  
As she drew closer, Sass recognized one voice as the Fat Lady, but the other one was no one she knew- that of a man, hoarse and angry. /Black,/ she thought. Sass felt a thrill of excitement and silently told her nerves to behave themselves. From all accounts, Sirius Black was a hardened killer, and a traitor to boot- not someone she should be excited to see.  
  
The last corner melted away just as the Fat Lady started to scream.  
  
Sass started as a gaunt, scraggly man attacked the Fat Lady's portrait with a knife, slashing her canvas into strips. He was cursing loudly, in between demands, almost prayers, for her to let him in.  
  
From what Sass could see, the Fat Lady had refused to let Sirius Black into Gryffindor Tower, and so he had resorted to violence.  
  
Suddenly, the Fat Lady fled her ruined portrait, leaving Black staring at an empty frame. He cursed once more, softly this time, and looked around. Sass resisted the urge to shrink away. Her hiding place was perfectly good, but the gaze that swept over her was haunted, piercing, and not quite sane.  
  
Sass blinked. Black was gone! In his place was a large black dog. / How could he have Transfigured himself so quickly/- she started to think, but then it hit her. /He's an Animagus!/  
  
As she followed the dog down the almost-dark hall, she realized it made perfect sense. If Black could turn into an animal, then he could slip past the guards of Azkaban. Azkaban was guarded by dementors, which could only sense emotions- they were blind! They must not have been able to sense him as a dog. And he retained his sanity by becoming the dog, because the dementors couldn't drain him then! And no one was guarding Hogwarts against animals. it made perfect sense.  
  
Thinking done, she refocused on following Black, only to see that she had lost him. /Shit!/ she thought. /Sass, you've got to keep your mind on what you're doing, or else-/  
  
"Who are you and why are you following me?" A rough hand grabbed her shoulders and she felt a knife at her throat.  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~  
  
Well, that's the 'or else!' who is it? Read on, as the next part is in chapter 8. REVIEW!!!!!!!! 


	8. Happiness

Erm, well, the second part of this ended up a lot longer than I thought it would, but I like it, so ha. And it turns out I think most of the recap is here. Whatever.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 8- Happiness  
  
  
  
Sass forced her breathing back to normal and let her pulse slow for a moment before answering Black. "My name is Sasina. I'm following-" Sass had been about to say 'because I saw you ripping up the Fat Lady's portrait', but realized all of a sudden that might not be the smartest thing to say. "I'm following you because I want to know if you really did murder thirteen people in one curse," she said in a rush.  
  
Black chuckled, a surprisingly pleasant one for a murderer. "Well, if you want to know the whole story, come with me. They're going to be searching the whole castle in a moment. Otherwise, I'm going to hex you so you can't go for help until I'm gone- I assure you, I won't kill you."  
  
Sass raised her eyebrows, forgetting he couldn't see her. "The word of a man who is supposed to have been one of Voldemort's best spies?"  
  
"You say his name." She felt Black stiffen. "Well, you'd better come. Just this way." The knife was removed from her throat and placed at her back, nudging her down the third-floor corridor. She sighed, wondering what to do. /Might as well/, she thought. Then she slid down and to the side, evading Black's frantic grab. She sprang up inside his range, between his body and the knife, and twisted it from his hand, spinning away to look at him.  
  
"I am not to be underestimated," she said, looking into Black's eyes. They held awe and respect, and, to her surprise, fear. Fear of her abilities, fear of what she might do- and what that would mean. /He's terrified of going back to Azkaban/, she realized. /I had better set him straight, or he'll do something crazy, I can tell./  
  
She stepped forward and put the knife back in Black's shocked hands. "I am not going to turn you over to Dumbledore or anyone else," she said, " because of the way you laughed back there. Maybe I'm crazy, but it seems like there's something more to the story than you read in the papers, and I want to know what it is. But I won't be held at knifepoint. So lead on." She smiled wryly.  
  
After a moment, what she had said seemed to sink in, and Black moved past her, standing in front of a portrait of a knight standing on a pedestal. Then he turned back to her and said, "Please turn around. If- well, for now I'd rather you didn't know how this works." Sass obliged, figuring she couldn't blame the man.  
  
/But why do I trust him?/ she wondered. /Why didn't I turn him over to Dumbledore? Maybe. because he could have killed me right back there. He's already been found guilty of murder, one more wouldn't make a difference, and after the Fat Lady the whole school already knows that he was in here. But he didn't kill me. And that whole bit about 'if you want to know the whole story.' That's not the answer of a guilty man, that's the answer of an innocent man whose story got confused by the general public. And then,/ she thought, a little ruefully, /there's my insatiable curiosity. I /really/ should have turned back as soon as I saw him. Or when he turned into the dog. Oh well, it looks as though some good may come of this after all./  
  
Sass heard Black say quietly, "Okay, you can turn back around now." She looked back, and saw that a small statue to the right of the portrait had opened wide enough to let them through. /Although if he wasn't so skinny./ she grinned. Being on the run from the government had /enabled/ Black to get into Hogwarts. She slipped into the hole after Black, pulling it shut behind her.  
  
The tunnel started in a sort of stone slide. Sass wedged herself in, allowing Black to get a little ahead. Then she let go, and whooshed down the passage a fair ways before landing, on her feet, in a pitch-black something-or-another. She said "Lumos" at just the same time as Black, and two spheres of light projected from their wands.  
  
They were in a low, dirt-walled passageway that twisted and turned of into the darkness. Black looked at her. "We can talk here." He Transfigured two rocks into comfortable chairs for them to sit in.  
  
"Transfiguration always was one of my best subjects," he said idly as they sat down.  
  
Sass blinked a little in surprise. That statement added to her growing list of proofs that Black was /not/ a murderer, /not/ a madman, and, in fact, completely innocent. She frowned a bit. "So what is the story about the murders?" she asked.  
  
Black looked at her hard then. "You probably won't believe me. The world is so set against me- but I'll tell you anyway."  
  
Sass just waited, knowing he would tell he eventually.  
  
"When I was at school, my best friend was James Potter. There were four of us, really. Me, James, Remus Lupin- he teaches-"  
  
"I know Remus," Sass said. She was slightly impatient, though she usually was. Maybe it was having story time with a convicted murderer.  
  
Black shrugged. "Okay. Well, the fourth member of out little band of Marauders was a boy named Peter Pettigrew. He was one of the 'victims' the murders I am supposed to have committed. Well, we graduated-"  
  
"With the most collective detentions of any four students in the history of the school- I've heard something about the Marauders," Sass added, not sure why.  
  
Black grinned, for a moment erasing the deadened look in his eyes and the wrinkles on his face. She supposed he hadn't had too much to be happy about since his school days. He continued.  
  
"Yes, that is true. We were quite proud of that. Well, Pettigrew wasn't. He never did like getting into mischief as much as us. After school we all remained close, especially James and me." Was it Sass' imagination, or did Black's voice crack a little on the word 'James?' "This was at the height of Voldemort's power. Anyway, one of Dumbledore's spies told him that there was a leak close to Lily and James- Lily was James' wife," he added. Sass nodded, and she realized that Black didn't know that Severus was the spy who had tipped Dumbledore off. She wondered how the ending of Black's story would differ from that of Severus.  
  
"I always thought it was Remus," Black said regretfully. "I know now I was wrong. Anyway, Dumbledore told the Potters they had better go into hiding. They did, for Harry's sake." Again, that momentary break in Black's voice made Sass sure he was telling the truth. "They used the Fidelius Charm- do you know what that is? What year are you in?" His look gave Sass no doubt that he was puzzled on this one. Old, because of her actions. Young, because of her stature. She wondered what to tell him. Old.  
  
"I'm in the third year, same as Harry," she said. "I don't know what the Fidelius Charm is, though." She felt safe in saying that, though as soon as she got back to the school, she'd be researching it thoroughly.  
  
Black nodded, confirming Sass' guess that a third year wouldn't know it. "It's a complicated spell," he said. "Basically, you hide a secret with one person, and unless they tell anyone, the secret is safe. So-"  
  
"You were the person the Potters chose," Sass said.  
  
"Yes, that was the plan," Black said. "But at the last minute, I had an idea. I was worried that Voldemort would come after me, so I told James and Lily to switch. I thought it was a perfect plan. There was no way Voldemort would ever suspect-"  
  
Sass inhaled sharply, understanding in a rush. "Peter Pettigrew," she breathed.  
  
"You're quick," Black said, nodding bitterly.  
  
"Yes. I told them to use Pettigrew. That way I couldn't betray them though torture. Before I had time to tell Dumbledore what we'd done, barely a week after they'd gone into hiding, Voldemort attacked." Black's voice became completely devoid of emotion. "He killed Lily and James, and then Harry defeated him. I was the only one still living who knew. I hunted Pettigrew down. The books say it was the other way around, but it wasn't. When I cornered him in Oxford, he yelled out that I'd betrayed Lily and James to a whole street full of muggles, then blew up the street over his shoulder, bit off his finger, and escaped."  
  
Sass thought for a moment. "Wait a minute," she said finally. "How did he escape? I mean it's not exactly hard to miss a man running down the street."  
  
Black slapped his head. "I forgot. You know that I'm an Animagus." This was a statement, and so Sass didn't bother to nod as he continued. "Well, we all were. You-" he looked at her carefully. "Well, Remus will never forgive me if he finds out I told you, but that hardly matters now. Don't tell anyone, alright?" Sass nodded cautiously.  
  
"Remus is a werewolf." He nodded as understanding dawned on Sass' face. The two times Remus had fallen 'sick' this year- she mentally checked the lunar calendar and saw they were at full moon. Black continued. "We were his best friends, we found out in the third year. Then we swore to Remus we'd become Animagi, so we could be with him in his transformations." He smiled wryly. "The amount of time we spent poring through Advanced Transfiguration books- McGonagall was shocked at how much our grades improved.  
  
"In our fifth year, we managed it. I was a black dog, James was a stag, and Pettigrew- Pettigrew was a /rat/." The vehemence when he said the last word scared Sass. She was pretty sure he hadn't killed all those muggles, by now, but she had no doubt that if he was given a chance, he would kill Pettigrew without a second thought. "But no one knew except for us four. And when Pettigrew ran. James was dead, and Remus didn't know we'd switched Secret Keepers."  
  
"So he escaped in his rat form, and of course no one was going to believe anything you said." Sass just sat there for a while after that, digesting the information, weighing it against things she'd heard and read, and filing it carefully away, placing it in the relevant parts of people's stories. After about five minutes, she looked up at Black again.  
  
"Teach me."  
  
That had to be the last thing he expected her to say. "What?"  
  
"You heard me. I want to learn how to be an Animagus. You started when you were in your third year, and I'm sure it'll come in handy someday. And there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to," she said, raising her chin defiantly. "I bet I'm more attentive in class than you were." /But you're really only a first year/, a small voice in her head said. /McGonagall's told you all what happens to people who aren't prepared to be Animagi./ Sass very firmly told that voice to shut the hell up. She could do it, and no one would stop her.  
  
Black still seemed to be having trouble understanding her. "You want- me- to teach you to become an- Animagus?" He said haltingly.  
  
Sass sighed. She knew her ability to weigh the facts, look at the situation, make a decision, and stand by it, surprised people, but it still annoyed her. Honestly, what did he think she'd been doing for five minutes after he told his story? "Look, if you're expecting to have to prove to me that you really /are/ innocent by repeating your story with different words five times, I don't do that. I make my decisions, and then I stand by them." She smiled a little at the echoing of her earlier thought. "So, I've decided you haven't killed anyone, though you would kill Pettigrew, but he deserves it. I'm not going to turn you in, I won't tell anyone, and I trust you. And I want to learn to be an Animagus. So?" She sat impatiently in her armchair, waiting for his answer.  
  
He thought for a moment. "Well. alright," he said finally. "I'll help you however I can.  
  
"But you had better get back up to the school," he said worriedly, as a scream heralded the first Gryffindor getting to the Fat Lady's ruined portrait. He winced. "That thing with the Fat Lady was a mistake," he said wistfully. "I really didn't mean to. I just got frustrated-" Another scream joined the first. "You'd better go."  
  
Sass nodded, and stood up quickly. Black Transfigured the rocks back, and headed down the tunnel, away from the school. He stopped for a moment, and looked back at her.  
  
"To get into this passage you tap the statue and say 'Dissendium,'" he said. "I'll meet you here in a week." At her nod, he continued down the passage.  
  
Sass hurried to get back up the slide and to the rest of the school, muttering "What a way to spend my birthday." She thought she heard Black stop, but he continued after a moment, so she figured he must just be jumping at any noise. She couldn't blame him.  
  
She continued up the slide. No doubt they would be checking to make sure no one was missing, and she did /not/ want to have to explain where she'd been. At that thought, she scrambled faster up the tunnel.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass got back to the corridor outside the common room just in time to be sent to the Great Hall along with all the rest of the Gryffindors. She watched as Dumbledore made an announcement about what had happened, and summoned bright purple sleeping bags from nothing so they could all sleep. She grabbed one and dragged it into a niche in the wall. She knew they wouldn't find Black- it was unlikely any teachers knew about the passage he'd used, and he was long gone even if they did. She could tell that a lot of people were going to be up all night talking, but as she already knew perfectly well what had happened, there was no need to listen to all the stupid rumors. So she forced herself to relax, and go to sleep.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The next morning at breakfast Sass mentally reviewed her schedule. Potions, excellent, she could talk to Severus, then Defense Against the Dark Arts- had someone jinxed her schedule just so that today would be the perfect day to talk to the people she needed to talk to? After Defense she had flying lessons, which she could easily skip, Madam Hooch (the teacher) didn't really care if her students missed class, as long as they were the ones that already were athletic and so didn't need what was really their only exercise at Hogwarts.  
  
But barely into through her meal Sass was interrupted by a wave of disturbance headed her way from the High Table. /What now?/ she thought before seeing it was Severus, with the least sarcastic smile she'd seen him wear in public, ever. He was obviously trying hard to be his usual bat- like self, but was having trouble hiding his delight. He stopped right behind her and she turned to face him.  
  
"What?" she said.  
  
Severus' grin grew even wider, despite his best efforts. "Come with me," he replied. "You'll see. And hurry. We haven't got much time."  
  
Sass obediently stood up and followed Severus to his office. Just outside the door he stopped. "Now, I meant to do this last night, after the feast, but as there was a small- distraction-" Sass noticed his face darkened at the thought of Black, "I'll do it now." Then he stopped trying not to smile, and opened the door.  
  
A large heap of presents sat on his table, their bright wrappings totally out of place in Severus' gloomy office. She turned back to him in shock. "These- they- they're for- for /me/?" she managed to squeak out. Sass had never, ever had a birthday present in her life, not even from Severus. It was too risky- if Kincaid had found out about their friendship, he would have fired Severus.  
  
"That's right! Happy birthday!" Severus said, ushering her to a chair. He conjured up food, as she hadn't gotten to finish breakfast, and so with a piece of toast in one hand, Sass started to open her presents.  
  
She spent the next hour as happy as she'd ever been in her life. Emara had gotten her the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the muggle books Sass had heard her and Mina talking about back in London. Michelle had outdone herself with a beautiful necklace made of silver, trimmed with smoky grey and black stones, with a silver dragon pendant studded with two small red gems, one on the tail, one for the eye. Breathless at the beautiful gift, Sass looked at the note, which said,  
  
/Heya Sass! Hope Hogwarts agrees with you. Emara noticed that you looked like you wanted to read the Lord of the Rings books, so she got you them. But this is really from both of us. You always wondered what we did; well, we make jewelry. This really is one of the better pieces we've made- Emara always said it's the heart that counts in this line of work. I guess she's right. Don't feel guilty, we do this because it's what we love doing, and we love you too. Anyway, Emara made the pendant, and I made chain. We bought the gems in a magic crystal shop (in kind of a Tokyo version of Diagon Alley). The shopkeeper said they would probably help repel curses. That may come in useful someday. Hope you like it!  
  
Michelle and Emara/  
  
Sass felt herself moved to tears by their show of caring. "Here now, none of this," Severus said, fastening the necklace around her neck. "Not on your- well, I guess it isn't your birthday anymore, but don't cry. There're still more presents!"  
  
Sass grinned, wiping away a couple of stray tears. "I'm just so happy," she said, turning back to the pile.  
  
The other Sailor Scouts had sent her one large present, which she had a hell of a time unwrapping. She gave Severus a brief rundown on them as she searched for a way to open the package. Finally she found a small loose string, which she pulled, and the entire thing came undone. And felt her mouth fall open, shocked. Severus was in the same predicament.  
  
There, sitting innocently on the table, was a small, neatly tied stretch of fabric. There was just one thing. Sass was sure it was the material used to make /Invisibility Cloaks/. The material was completely clear- she could only see the scarlet trim. She could see the table through it, and the bottom part of the twine binding it. After a moment of staring, Sass cleared her throat. "That /is/ the makings of an Invisibility Cloak, isn't it?" she said.  
  
"Yes," Severus replied, stunned. "Look- there's a note. Why don't you read it?"  
  
"Okay," Sass said.  
  
Dear Sass,  
  
We all pitched in to buy this, and you're getting a small Christmas present too, just for reference. (By the way, this is Mina.) We've been checking out the magical scene here in Tokyo with Emara and Michelle, and it's been a lot of fun. Oh- have to hand it over now. Later.  
  
Apparently Invisibility Cloaks are really rare in Britain (Amy now :P). That's not true here. You have to really watch out what you say in public places, because chances are there's someone listening. They also don't use wands here. Instead they use stones that they call 'focus points', or 'focuses'- there are all different types, from granite to ruby, and they're always coated with a different type of finish, and they can be different sizes-  
  
Hey Sass! It's Serena Moon-Princess now. Sorry about Amy, she's having a field day with all this new stuff to learn- eurgh! Anyway, since we can get the material *relatively* cheap here, we figured it might come in handy for getting into loads of trouble at your school- thingie. I think someone's sending the instructions for sewing it, or at least I hope-  
  
Sorry. Serena started to babble, so I'll continue here. It's Raye :- ). I did put the instructions in here. You have to be careful sewing these things; apparently until they're done they're completely invisible, except for the trimming they sew on- so if you're not careful you can actually lose it! Cool, huh? I hope you have fun with it! (And don't get caught!) Ok, Lita wants to say something too, as we've all had our say except for her. I'll see you over the holidays.  
  
Hope you're having fun at your school! In case you didn't see Raye's note, this is Lita. This Hogwarts place sounds like a lot of fun- wish I could go (Amy's been telling me about it). Well, enjoy yourself!  
  
Kudos,  
  
Lita Mina  
  
Raye Amy  
  
Serena, moon-princess*  
  
P.S. Sorry about Serena. She's taken to signing *everything* like that. bye! ~ Raye/  
  
Severus laughed softly as Sass finished reading. "Tell me more about them," he said, but then shook his head. "No, it can wait till later. Finish opening!" he ordered her, mock-sternly.  
  
Sass laughed too, and turned back to the unopened presents. There were only four more, now.  
  
One was from Sandra, with a nice homemade card wishing her a happy birthday. The present contained a large box of assorted wizard sweets. Sass grinned, eager to start sampling them when she got a chance.  
  
The next one seemed to be from Remus, and Sass unwrapped it slowly as Severus frowned a bit. Sass wondered what Remus could have afforded to get her. She knew that Remus was short for ready cash, and thanks to Sirius, she also knew it was probably because of his lycanthropy- being a werewolf. The last of the wrappings fell away, and Sass was a little surprised to see a small, golden, roly-poly bird with silver wings sitting calmly in a cage. There was a note as well, which read,  
  
/ Happy birthday, nichka! (that means 'little spark')  
  
I hope you like this present. It is a Golden Snidget, and I had to obtain special permission from the Ministry to go and find one for you. If you read ^Quidditch Through the Ages^, you'll see that they used to be used for Snitches. It will carry your letters for you, though it's not strong enough to carry packages. If you come by my office sometime I'll put a Binding Spell on it for you, so that if something happens so it you'll know, and you can summon it if you want it to carry a letter for you. It already has so many anti-theft and anti-harm charms on it though- I doubt you'll need it.  
  
A warning- Golden Snidgets are very affectionate, and quite sweet, but if you try to harm one, the Ministry's put a little spell on the entire species that makes them vicious if they get hurt. Not that you would ever hurt it, but it would be better to avoid any mistakes with them. That beak can be sharp!  
  
Anyway, I think this little beauty is a female, name her whatever you want. Enjoy, and happy birthday!  
  
-Remus/  
  
"Wow," Sass breathed as she leaned close to inspect the small Snidget. "That is so cool." She opened the small cage and took the Snidget out, putting it on her finger. "I think I'll name her Bright."  
  
Severus looked at Bright. "Is that a Golden Snidget?" he said, his curiosity overcoming his dislike of all things Remus Lupin.  
  
Sass nodded. "Remus got special permission from the ministry so he could get her for me. Isn't she sweet?"  
  
Severus grimaced at the 'sweet' but nodded, seeing her point. "Come on," he said. "You still haven't gotten to my present!"  
  
"Now, now, Severus," Sass said. "It's supposed to be good if your present's opened last." /Oh, and how would you know?/ a small, insidious voice asked. /Not like you've ever been to a birthday party/. Sass hurriedly grabbed Severus' present before he could ask what was wrong, and quickly opened it.  
  
"Oh," Sass said softly as she was once again stunned at a present. "Severus- you shouldn't have. I-"  
  
"Nonsense," he said, pleased that she liked the present. "If I'm to teach you anything, you've got to have the very best. And this is it."  
  
'This' was a perfect storage space and drying rack for plants and other potions ingredients. It was a small, clear box that opened onto eight different areas, all different, depending on what was put there. And it was minimally enchanted, so that the magic didn't interfere with what it contained. Sass was stunned. She had seen Severus' one, it was just like this, but in the back of ^One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi^ she had seen an advertisement for them, and they were way out of her price range. She looked up at Severus, completely amazed.  
  
"Thank you so very, very much," she said feelingly. To her surprise, Severus blushed. She stared at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing.  
  
"What?" he said, slightly annoyed.  
  
"You- blushed-" she managed to force out, around her uncontrollable giggles.  
  
Sure enough, Severus started to chuckle too, and soon they were leaning on each other for support, wheezing and out of breath.  
  
Sass looked at him, saw he was looking at her too, and burst into fresh spouts of laughter. Severus joined her, and they weren't able to stop for good until both lay on the floor, exhausted. Severus propped himself up on one elbow.  
  
"Sass?"  
  
"Yeah?" She sat up, leaning against the wall.  
  
"You've still got one more present. Here-" he grabbed his wand, and with a swish and a muttered incantation, the present flew into Sass' lap. "Who's it from?"  
  
Sass inspected the package carefully. "Doesn't say. Oh well, I'll just open it." She did so, revealing a small, completely clear crystal. There was also a note.  
  
/Sass-  
  
Bet you're wondering how I figured out your birthday, huh? I asked your friend, Sandra Woods, when it was. She also helped me get the present. See, she paid for it (un-activated, of course, otherwise it would've been way too expensive), and in return, I promised to do her a few favors to wreak havoc on some people she doesn't like.  
  
Anyway, you probably won't have heard of one of these. Really, it's just glass, but it's designed especially to be a ghost-walker. But it needs a real ghost to activate, and it takes a lot of bother, and it's really hard to pay a ghost, so there aren't very many. But once it's been activated, it can allow you to be like a ghost for a short period of time (so you can walk through walls and things). Isn't that cool? I activated this one for you. The way you work it is to hold it in your right hand (since you're a lefty), and say 'creare fantasma', and it'll make you a ghost for ten seconds. Since I'm not very good at this- sorry- it can only be used twice a day. I hope you like it anyway.  
  
Anyway, come talk to me after lunch on Friday. You get that period free, right?  
  
See you,  
  
Myrtle/  
  
Sass smiled to herself, looking back over the morning, breathlessly happy that so many people cared for her so very much. /I really am quite lucky/, she thought. She stood up and helped Severus to his feet, looking at her watch.  
  
"Dear God!" she said. "It's almost 9:15! You're late for your class! And so am I," she realized.  
  
Severus looked at his watch, as shocked as she. "We'd better hurry," he said. "Yeah, let me get there, then you can come in right after me. They may not make the connection that way. See you!" She jogged out the door. At least Severus' office was in the dungeons, too, and so was near to the Potions room. But she was still going to be late. Sass ran faster.  
  
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE? It makes me so happy. 


	9. Tale Of A Slytherin

The first part of this is a little forced, I think, but the next parts are better. So here it is.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 9- Tale Of A Slytherin  
  
  
  
Potions class. Sass got there bare seconds before Severus, sliding into a desk in the back. She hurriedly got her cauldron out, acting as if she was worried that Severus would see she had been late. She smiled a bit at Hermione as Severus swept in, giving no reason for his lateness and going immediately to the board to write down the ingredients of that lesson's potion. Hermione returned her smile, though she was pretty busy restraining Ron, who was struggling to get at Malfoy, who had apparently taken Severus' absence as an excuse to insult him again. Hermione suddenly whispered something in Ron's ear. He looked at Severus and suddenly stopped struggling.  
  
Sass chuckled a bit as she got out her ingredients. No doubt Hermione had reminded Ron of his punishment if he attacked Malfoy in front of Severus. Then she bit her lip in an abrupt change of mood. Severus really was far too hard on the Gryffindors. Yes, the entire House of Slytherin was reviled by most of the world, and they had to get there own back in somewhere (and better in detentions than Death Eaters, she thought wryly, remembering the name of Voldemort's main supporters), but still. She shook her head and brewed her potion, though she wasn't completely able to shake the happiness her birthday presents had bestowed upon her.  
  
Halfway through the lesson, Sass was surprised to see Hermione sit down beside her, cauldron and book bag in tow.  
  
"Sass?" Hermione asked quietly.  
  
"What is it?" Sass replied, looking up at the worry in Hermione's voice. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Well, it's just." Hermione looked anxiously back over at Ron and Harry, who apparently were deeply engrossed in whatever they were talking about, ". are you alright?"  
  
That was /not/ what Sass had expected to hear Hermione say. She looked over to see if the older girl was joking, but her face was quite serious. She was worried!  
  
"Er. why do you ask?" Sass was thinking, /Well, the truth is, I'm about as good as I've ever been in my life. I just got a birthday party, for goodness sake! But I probably shouldn't tell her that./  
  
Hermione shrugged. "You seemed a little preoccupied and I was wondering if anything was wrong." /No, that's not true/, thought Sass. /She didn't come over here just because I'm 'preoccupied.' Which I am, I guess. She really thinks something's wrong with me! Whatever./  
  
"Well," Sass said, deciding to go for partial truth, "my birthday was yesterday and I'm thinking about the presents I got. I'm not upset or anything, I'm just not paying much attention." She /didn't/ say, 'like I usually do.'  
  
Hermione looked over at her in surprise, distracted from Sass' 'problems.' "Why didn't you tell me? I would've gotten you something!"  
  
"You would've?" The words jumped out of Sass' mouth before she could stop them. /Great/, she thought, /that's just what I need. Hermione convinced that I'm abused and need comforting. Well, I was abused, but I don't need comforting. Not from her at least./  
  
Hermione frowned. "Yes, I would've. I mean, we're friends, right?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, sorry. It's just. I didn't think you'd be willing to show that much support for the Gryffindor leper." Sass glanced pointedly at the other students.  
  
"You're not really that out of favor right now, you know," Hermione said, once again distracted from what she'd come to ask about. "Ever since that thing with Malfoy."  
  
"Yeah, well just wait. I bet I do something in the next two weeks to get them disgusted with me again."  
  
"You're on. Five sickles. And no cheating." Hermione grinned at Sass' surprise. "What, you think I don't like a chance as much as the next Gryffindor? But really- don't do something just to win." She smiled to take the bite off of it.  
  
Sass raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't do that. Do you think I like having the whole school dumping on me? It's bad enough with the Gryffindors tentatively on my side." She sighed. "I don't have to attract hatred. I gather it to me just by existing."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass heard shouts up ahead in the corridor. It was two Wednesdays after she'd made her bet with Hermione, and Sass was headed to lunch after an easy Defense class about pixies.  
  
Some of the people were laughing loudly, but there was one who was screaming with fury, suddenly cut off. /Sounds like bullying/, Sass thought. /But they picked on the wrong person. Whoever's over there is gonna rip their heads off as soon as he gets a chance/. She pushed her way through the crowd. /I hate bullying. The cowardly bastards, ganging up and beating on one person./ Then she made it close enough to the front to see who was doing what, and her face hardened in fury.  
  
Some older Gryffindors had managed to put the body-bind curse on Severus and steal his wand, which was lying on the floor. They were now conjuring buckets of she-didn't-want-to-know-what and dumping them on his head. And since he couldn't see, they wouldn't even get in trouble for it! After all, no Gryffindor was going to turn them in. well, almost no Gryffindor.  
  
Sass stooped down and grabbed Severus' wand. /Time to learn if that new spell Remus taught me actually works/, she thought. She drew her own wand and yelled, "STUPEFY!" A beam of red light shot out of her wand, hitting two of the perpetrators and knocking them out cold.  
  
"Stupefy! /Stupefy! / STUPEFY!" When she was done, all Severus' attackers were laid out on the floor, and everyone in the hall was staring at her, their expressions a mix of amazement, fury, shock, and horror.  
  
At the moment, she didn't care. She glared at all of them, kneeling down next to Severus and picking him up when she couldn't remember the counter- curse. She stalked out of the crowd towards Severus' office, and the black- robed students parted dumbly before her, still staring. She felt their eyes on her until she turned the corner, and then she heard the whispering begin. /Five sickles to me/, she thought. /They'll never forgive this. /  
  
She hefted Severus into a more comfortable position on her shoulders. /He's a damned beanpole!/ she thought. /I know I'm strong, but I should not be able to lift someone a foot and a half taller than me!/  
  
Fortunately, she didn't see anyone on her trek to her mentor's office. Once she got there, she had a chance to look through her books to find the counter to the full-body-bind. She performed it, and the first thing he did was wipe his mouth.  
  
"Those /god-damne/d GRYFFINDORS! I am going to /kill them/!" He fumed, stalking into his personal chambers so he could clean off. "And then I am going to hunt down the sorry bastards who whelped them, and I will-" After a moment of shock, Sass hurriedly grabbed some parchment and started taking notes as he continued ranting, starting the shower running in the bathroom. She'd never heard the like of it, and she'd heard some pretty good stuff.  
  
The tirade continued for the entire length of his shower, the only pauses being when he ducked his head to rinse it. About twenty minutes later, there was sudden silence, both in water and Severus' voice.  
  
"You all right in there?" she called, a little tentatively. After all, she was a Gryffindor, and she had only seen him get this angry once, and then. well, it hadn't been pretty.  
  
Severus exited the bathroom, one towel around his waist, and another around his long black hair. "I'm fine," he muttered, digging in his closet for clean clothes. "Just angry."  
  
"Hah!" said Sass, unrolling the parchment. "You call this 'just angry'?"  
  
He turned to look at what she was holding, saw what it was, and started to laugh. "Oh god," he said, sitting down on his bed and chuckling. "I was livid."  
  
Sass went over and sat beside him. "Yup," she said. "You were pretty upset. But, er, you aren't, well, /really/ going to do all those things to those people, are you?"  
  
He sighed, scowling. "No, I'm not. I'd like to let them know how it feels to have /crap/ shoved down their throats, though." He thought for a moment. "This is really one of the better pranks that's been pulled on me, though. I didn't even see who they were. And /that's/ what I really hate."  
  
Sass smiled serenely. "Well, then it's lucky for you I Stunned them, and saw who they were, isn't it?"  
  
"You /what/?" Severus sat up abruptly, staring at her. "You /Stunned/ them?"  
  
Sass continued to smile. "Your class is not the only one where I pay attention," she said. "And Professor Lupin taught me a few tricks." She thought it best not to remind Severus how good of friends she and Remus were. He knew, but still. Severus shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me, Sass. So that was what the shouting was. I had my eyes closed. Who was it, then?"  
  
"The Weasley twins, Mark Lassman, Isaac Tiernan, Lee Jordan, Nathan Pierson, and Sarah Lensar," Sass said promptly, naming the troublemaking clique of older Gryffindor boys, and one of their girlfriends. Severus coughed.  
  
"I guess this must be about Lensar's detention, then," he said, surprised. "I didn't think it mattered so much to her."  
  
"What?" said Sass.  
  
"Oh, Lensar started doing her makeup in my class when I had my back turned, working on a potion that I'm brewing," he said. "I caught her and gave her detention to do on Saturday, during the Quidditch match, and I guessed that's what prompted," he gestured towards the bathroom, "this."  
  
"You know Severus, you really are too hard on Griffin-" Sass started to say before Severus interrupted her.  
  
"Dear god, you stink to high heaven, Sass! What did you do, carry me here?" he exclaimed.  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Well, yes, how else did you expect me to get you to your office?" she said.  
  
He shrugged. "I don't know, just go take a shower. I'll get you some clean robes to wear." Sass started to ask /how/, exactly, he was going to get clothes from Gryffindor Tower, but she was too late. Severus was out the door.  
  
Sass went and took a shower.  
  
* * * * *  
  
".And so, once again, I am the most hated student in the school," Sass finished as she explained to Myrtle. "So can I sleep here tonight? Well, actually, can I stay for about a week?"  
  
"Of course!" said Myrtle. "You know you're welcome here any time. So has Hermione given you the money yet?"  
  
Sass started. "I'd forgotten about our bet," she said. "I bet she was planning to give it to me at dinner tonight. Like I'd be stupid enough to go down there now! They'd probably find a way to dump dragon crap on me, too, and then get away with it." She sighed. "Well, they won't be able to do too much in classes, and I can finish the Invisibility Cloak right now, so they can't find me to do things any other time." Sass pulled the cloak from her bag, feeling her way to where she'd stopped sewing.  
  
After a few minutes, Sass exclaimed, "I /hate/ this!"  
  
Myrtle looked up, startled. "What? I thought Invisibility Cloaks were useful!"  
  
Sass sighed, looking down through the Cloak at her lap. "No, not the Cloak. It's this," she gestured around the enlarged stall. "I hate having to hide away from everyone, having to sneak around in a /school/, for god's sake, so that I don't get hurt! Why does it matter if Severus and I are friends? What's it to them?" To Sass' surprise, tears started to leak out of her eyes. "I /hate/ bullies!"  
  
Myrtle blinked, and Sass knew why. /I don't break down like this often/. "Don't feel too bad," the chubby girl said tentatively. "I know how mean people can be, and you're not alone in getting picked on." She smiled a little. "I know how it is."  
  
Sass wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thanks," she said. "You know, I think I'll dance for a while. That always makes me feel better."  
  
Myrtle's eyes widened. "Are you any good?" she said excitedly. "I've always wanted to learn to dance, but I-" she looked down at herself. "I'm too fat," she finished quietly. Sass shrugged. "Doesn't matter since you're a ghost," she said. "I dunno- can ghosts change their appearance?" She forced herself to be distracted, and not get all gloomy.  
  
The other girl shrugged. "I dunno. We could try it, couldn't we?" Now she sounded hopeful, happy- like a normal teenage girl.  
  
"Sure! No reason why you shouldn't be able to. Here, what do you want to learn?"  
  
"Oohh, well, I've always thought jazz was so cool." and they were off.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass might hate skulking around the school, but skulk she did, and she snuck into Defense class early on Friday, knowing Remus was always in his classroom before classes, and he wouldn't let anyone get away with anything. Sass didn't care if she was missing her free afternoon, so long as it was prank-free.  
  
But to her surprise, it was Severus sitting behind the desk that day, and not Remus. Then she quickly summed up the days in her head, and realized that it was the full moon, and Remus, as a werewolf, probably didn't feel well enough to teach. She waved, and then sat down in her desk in the back, pulling out an old book about vampires and starting to read it.  
  
/'The vampyre is a fiendish creature. They are incredybly strong, evne tho they may be smalle in stature. Theye have black hayr, though it is not agryd as to what eye-colour theye possess. Full-blouded vampyres have no reflection in myrors, tho if theye have any humane bloud whatsoever, theyr reflection will be there. Alsoe, part-blouded vampyres may not hav thee necessity to drinke bloud fore substanence, tho theye often inheryt theyr ancestors' payle skyn and dark hayr. However, one wyth even a smalle part of vampyre bloud in them will have a strong dislike of garlick, and to mayny it can cause illness or Death, as tho to a veryy stronge allergy. There are many part- vampyres in our midst who do not even knoe theyr own heritage, tho there are many whoe do, bycaus theyr mothers did not knoe what it was that theye bedded in theyr mistaykes.  
  
A vampyre may be kylled-'/  
  
Sass looked up as Severus cleared his throat and called for silence, looking through Remus' papers. /Oh dear, he's going to try to embarrass Remus, and the others are going to object and he's going to punish them which'll make them hate me worse./ she thought worriedly. Severus looked up and said, "I do not know what I am going to do here. Professor Lupin has been very messy, and there are no records-"  
  
The door swung abruptly open and Harry rushed in, saying, "Sorry I'm late Professor Lupin, I-"  
  
He realized it was Severus teaching the class today and quickly shut his mouth. Severus looked up. "This lesson began ten minutes ago, Potter, so I think we'll make it ten points from Gryffindor. Sit down." Sass groaned inwardly. /Here goes./ she thought. Harry remained where he was.  
  
"Where's Professor Lupin?" he said.  
  
Severus smiled and Sass glared at him, both for being happy at Remus' problems, and for making trouble. "He says he is feeling too ill to teach today." Severus raised an eyebrow. "I believe I told you to sit down?"  
  
Sass put her head in her hands as Harry still refused to go to his seat. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
"Nothing life-threatening," he said, leaning back in his chair, his dark eyes glittering. "Five more points from Gryffindor, and if I have to ask you to sit down again, it will be fifty."  
  
Sass mentally thanked god when Harry did so. Severus looked back to the rest of the class.  
  
"As I was saying before Potter interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far-"  
  
"Please sir," Hermione said quickly, "we've done boggarts, Red Capps, kappas, and grindylows," Sass winced- didn't she know anything from three years of Severus' classes? - "and we're just about to start-"  
  
"Be quiet," Severus said harshly, glaring at Hermione. "I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organization." Sass sighed, wondering if she could go to the bathroom so she didn't have to witness this scene. /You are being a bastard, Severus Snape/, she thought at the teacher. /This is why everyone hates you!/  
  
One of the boys, Dean Thomas, lifted his chin defiantly. "He's the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had." The class murmured assent. /Well he is a good teacher/, Sass thought as Severus glared at Dean, /but that's hardly saying much, from what I've heard of the last two. And this is Severus' queue. /  
  
"You are easily satisfied," Severus said, confirming Sass' predictions. "Lupin is hardly overtaxing you- I would expect first years to be able to deal with Red Caps and grindylows. Today we shall discuss-" Sass moved her head down as Severus flicked farther and farther back in the textbook. /Damn you/, she thought. /Why do you do this? Why do you hate Gryffindors so much?//  
  
"-werewolves." Sass stared at Severus in shock. She understood immediately. He was trying to get the students to find out that Remus was a werewolf! Why? What did he have against him? /What's going on here?/ she thought.  
  
"But sir," Hermione burst out, causing Sass to bite back a scream of frustration, "we're not supposed to do werewolves yet, we're due to start hinkypunks-"  
  
Severus' voice was flat, toneless, and full of menace. "Miss Granger, I was under the impression that I am teaching this lesson, not you. And I am telling you all to turn to page 394." He glared around the room. "/All/ of you! /Now/!"  
  
Sass opened her book immediately, though many of the others took their own sweet time. Once all the books were open to the correct page, Severus barked, "Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and the true wolf?"  
  
Sass kept her hands firmly in her lap. The last thing she needed now was to answer 'Snape' correctly in a class that he was being such a bastard in. Hermione, of course, stabbed her hand up in the air immediately, but to Sass' surprise, no one else did. /You'd think at least a few of these people would have done some extra reading/, she thought.  
  
Severus looked hard at Sass, but said nothing. Predictably, he ignored Hermione's hand.  
  
"Anyone?" he said, smiling slowly. "Are you telling me Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between-"  
  
"We told you," Parvati burst out, "we haven't gotten as far as werewolves yet, we're still on-"  
  
"/Silence/!" Sass' mentor snarled, his face a mask of fury that she had rarely seen there. Sudden realization came to her. /He must still be mad about what happened on Wednesday. No matter that none of the culprits are in this class, he blames the House at large. Which is fair enough, but this isn't helping anything!/ Severus continued. "Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognize a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are."  
  
Hermione couldn't seem to keep her mouth shut. "Please, sir," she burst out, her hand still in the air, "the werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf-"  
  
"This is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," Severus said, his voice cold enough to make ice. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."  
  
Sass wished she could dig a hole in the floor of the classroom and disappear on the spot. Hermione turned bright red and put her hand down, holding back tears. The class glared at Severus. No mind they'd all called Hermione a know-it-all at least once, it was /Snape/ now, attacking one of their own. Ron protested. "You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don't want to be told?"  
  
He had gone too far. Actually, his brothers had gone too far (the Weasley twins), but right now to Severus it made no difference. He advanced on Ron, putting his face very close to the teenager's. "Detention, Weasley," Severus breathed. "And if I ever hear you criticize the way I teach a class again, you will be very sorry indeed." Sass sighed with relief, though the rest glared at Severus harder than ever. Detention was the least of the things she'd worried Severus would put Ron through. Maybe he was somewhat appeased at the punishments being meted out to his real sources of anger. She hadn't heard what those were, yet, though the grim smile on Severus' face when he'd come back from that particular meeting told her they were bad.  
  
The rest of the class passed in silence, the class taking notes on werewolves as Severus stalked around the classroom, criticizing everything. After the bell rang, Severus assigned them a ridiculously long essay on werewolves, then finally let the class go. Sass was glad when it finished, but she remained in the room behind everyone else. She needed to talk to Severus, and waiting had the double advantage of causing possible tormentors to get bored.  
  
When the last student had filed out of the classroom, Sass walked to the door, shutting it before she turned to her teacher. "Severus, that was totally barbaric," she said, advancing on him. "I know those people in the hall made you mad, but this is /no way/ to get back at them! Teachers are supposed to /prevent/ inter-House rivalry, not create it!"  
  
"I /am/ inter-House rivalry," Severus growled. "Trust me, if it weren't for that, I would /not/ be the person I am today, and I would probably never have joined Voldemort." He looked at her, calming down. "Sit. I'll explain." Sass perched on the edge of Remus' desk, looking curiously at Severus. She had never seen him in this mood, except that evening after her first potions lesson, when he was talking about his years at school. He had only spoken of them briefly, and she now remembered feeling as though he hadn't told her everything.  
  
When Severus didn't seem to want to continue, Sass prompted, "Well?"  
  
He sighed, closing his eyes and collecting his thoughts. "I don't come from a big Slytherin family, for starters. My family was mostly Gryffindors, with a few Hufflepuffs mixed in. My father was blonde and my mother was a redhead, and they both had blue eyes, so it was enough of a surprise when I turned out like I am physically." He gestured to his almost-black eyes and black hair.  
  
"Then I got older, and all I wanted to do was read. My older siblings were all popular, pretty, and a little low in the brains department. By the time I went to Hogwarts, I could out-wit, out-talk, and out-think everyone in my family, including my parents. Of course, it was useful if I needed to make up an excuse, but imagine being smarter than your parents!" He eyed Sass.  
  
"Like if Kincaid'd had the IQ of, say, a dog, as well as all the other kids in the orphanage. Anyway, I never really fit in with them, and I never had a lot of friends. Well, then I went to Hogwarts, and I got Sorted into Slytherin. End of problem, right?" he said, scowling.  
  
"Well, yes, a lot of the Slytherins were like me, but none of them trusted me! 'No one trusts a Gryffindor'- that's the saying. My family was the essence of /Gryffindor/, and none of them believed I was any different. And," he smiled bitterly, "the saying outside my House was, 'never trust a Slytherin.' Which is bigoted, on both sides.  
  
"Slytherins aren't all bad; we're just ambitious. We like to get our way. A lot like Gryffindors, for that matter. It's just that since Salazar Slytherin was a Dark Wizard, and Voldemort came from Slytherin, people blob us all together. No one remembers the /Gryffindors/ who went bad, and the /Ravenclaws/ who used their knowledge to gain power, and the /Hufflepuffs/ who got people killed with their stupidity. It's just us.  
  
And so we see that the world is against us, and turn to someone who will give us a place in the world, who will appreciate us for who we are. That's how Voldemort's recruiters pitched it. 'Come to a world that loves the House of Slytherin.' 'Come and join us, we want you.' It's a heady thing, Sass, being wanted." His mouth tightened with pain at the remembrance.  
  
"Some of the kids signed up before they had finished their fifth year. And Dumbledore, though I owe him my loyalty, and I like and admire him greatly, did not help. He himself was a Gryffindor, and has the Slytherin- inferiority complex. He was far worse before I started working for him."  
  
"And I know," he said vehemently, "I /know/ some of Voldemort's spies weren't Slytherins. Black was just one of them. A lot of people wouldn't trust a Slytherin with information, at that point. It was assumed we would sell it to Voldemort. And so, a lot of our folk would try to ferret out information and give it to him, just to spite everyone who'd spited them. It was like after the Battle of Cullivan, when Scots were imprisoned just for being Scottish. No one would believe that they weren't trying to put 'Bonny Prince Charles' back on his throne." He sighed. "I'm not saying that most of His servants didn't come from Slytherin. And a lot of us are at least a little 'evil.' But most of it is just bitterness." He rolled the word around in his mouth, tasting it. "Bitterness. Yes," Severus closed his eyes. "We're bitter."  
  
He opened his eyes again and looked at Sass. "You see why I hate Gryffindors. Everyone loves them- they're outgoing, funny, 'chivalrous.' I'm tired of it. They can afford to take some extra crap from me. Especially Potter and his friends," he growled.  
  
Sass grimaced. "Look, it's not Hermione's fault, none of it. You did not have to call her a know-it-all. How does that make you better than anyone else? I can understand the way you feel. but try to ease off of Hermione. She's my friend, and she sticks up for me when she can. Okay?"  
  
"I'll try, Sass, for you. But she /is/ a know-it-all, and she gets on my nerves. But," he looked at the clock on Remus' desk, "you need to get to class. I'll see you tomorrow at the Quidditch match." He patted her hand, and then made a flicking motion with his hand. "Go on, get!"  
  
Sass smiled, hopped off the desk, and ran out of the room.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass had to run to History of Magic, but it turned out Professor Binns (their only ghost teacher) was late, so she needn't've bothered. Sass had caught up in this class long ago, and was now coasting through their study of pre-medieval witch-hunts. She only paid enough attention in class to know what was covered, then read about it in some /interesting/ history books she'd ordered after her first attempt to read ^A History of Magic^, which was their course book.  
  
Today was no exception. Sass watched the mid-November sleet run down the windowpanes of their third floor classroom and drip onto the stone courtyard below. The room felt stuffy, and Sass decided to try something to open a window.  
  
She sat by a window, but it wouldn't do for Binns to suspect her. Instead she chose the window next to Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil's best friend. She aimed her wand carefully, then used the incantation they'd learned in Charms a couple of weeks ago. "Wingardium Leviosa!" she muttered quietly at the window-latch. This was the levitation spell, and if it worked.  
  
The latch slowly moved up, and the window followed it, sliding open without a squeak. Lavender looked at it in surprise, but ignored it. Professor Binns didn't even notice it. Sass sat back in her desk as a waft of cool air hit her, quite happy, and tuned out the dull monotone of her teacher, planning what she would do after she finished her homework today.  
  
  
  
I know that's a pretty bad ending, but it was getting long and I wanted to end it. So there you have it. Go read the next one, and:  
  
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE? It makes me so happy. 


	10. Of Pain

Well, the next couple of chapters are relatively depressing, as I was depressed when I wrote them, though I'm not now. Hope you don't mind.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 10- Of Pain  
  
  
  
The next day Sass turned out for the first Quidditch match of the year (Griffindor vs. Hufflepuff) with the rest of the school, despite the fact that yesterday's rain had turned into a thunderstorm. Sass wished she could be playing, but despite her talent with martial arts, she was worth squat on a broomstick. She wasn't afraid of heights; she just couldn't seem to get the broom to understand what she wanted to do. Madam Hooch was understanding, but Sass was still irritated by her inability.  
  
Sass turned to the match as the players walked out onto the field. She was sitting alone, in a space that had been conveniently vacated as soon as she approached it. This, of course, meant that there was no one to help block the wind, so she had to resort to creating a small heat-bubble under her cloak, which helped- some.  
  
Madam Hooch blew her whistle, and the game started. Sass squinted into the rain, trying to see what was going on. At some point Sandra had told her about this game. There were four balls, and the different positions were based on which ball the player interacted with, on his or her broom. The three Chasers and the Keeper dealt with the Quaffle- Chasers trying to score through one of the other team's three hoops (worth ten points), which the Keeper tried to prevent. Two Beaters per team carried small bats to hit the balls called Bludgers, which flew around the field, trying to knock as many players off their brooms as possible. And then there was the Golden Snitch, which was small, fast, and hard to see. The Seeker on each team tried to catch it, earning their team 150 points and ending the game.  
  
Suddenly, one of the players whooshed right in front of Sass' spot in the stands in pursuit of the Quaffle, splattering mud all over Sass. She thought she heard a few snickers, but these quickly stopped as Sass decided she'd had enough of this rain crap and Summoned an umbrella. Then she muttered, "/Jesto vath/!" which created an invisible barrier going straight down from the end of the umbrella, making it impossible for her to get any wetter than she was, and with the ball of warmth, she was actually drying off pretty quick. The rain beat on the outside of Sass' spell, but it came no closed, drawing her some jealous and envious looks. Sass ignored them, continuing to try and make out what was happening in the game.  
  
Eventually, Sass did come to pity her classmates as the game dragged on and on into the afternoon, and then the evening. Sass heard the whistle blowing and saw players flying to the ground for a timeout. Sass squinted down at the Gryffindor team, and felt her stomach do a funny flip-flop when she saw Harry down there. /What on earth?/ she thought to herself. /I'm not falling for a wet, muddy Harry Potter, am I?/ She shook her head, watching dimly as Hermione ran out and cast some sort of spell on Harry's glasses, and then both teams resumed flying, Harry moving in ever rising circles through the pouring rain until he disappeared.  
  
A few minutes later, Sass saw a blur of muddy yellow robes streaking towards the middle of the stadium. A moment later, a red blur from the other end of the field came racing towards it. /They must have seen the Snitch!/ Sass thought, a thrill of excitement racing through her even though she wasn't playing. /Oh, come on, Harry, come on!/  
  
But suddenly, Harry slowed, then stopped. He looked down at something on the field, and Sass instinctively followed his gaze, and gasped. She saw the black-cloaked dementors, and felt herself fall into her memories.  
  
Sasina limped back into the practice ring, assessing the damage when Milord Paul had thrown her out of it. Her body still seemed to be working fairly well, although her mind was reeling with the pain. Her shoulder was probably fractured where she'd hit the floor, and her right wrist was sprained where he'd grabbed her for the throw. She might have a sprained ankle, too, although that was minor. She checked her legs, and was relieved to find that the only damage there was the normal pain in her left leg and the usual assortment of bruises that covered her entire body. She would have to do a lot of kicking, then. Maybe if she was lucky, that throw would have appeased some of Milord Paul's anger, and she would only have to 'spar' a few more rounds.   
  
Then she took her fighting stance, and looked into Milord Paul's eyes, and felt her hope shatter like glass. His eyes were narrowed with fury, his whole body tensed with a need to /hurt/. And she would be the one who took the pain.  
  
He attacked, and Sasina mutely tried to fight back, but he was better than her, stronger, and she was still being hurt by the mysterious and excruciating pain that coursed through her body whenever Milord Paul got really angry. Sasina bit back a scream as he knocked her down onto her hurt shoulder.  
  
Sasina heard a voice calling her name from far away. She wondered why. No one would dare interrupt Milord when he was this angry. someone was shaking her. "Sass! Sass! Come on, shake the memories! Like in the train!" What? She'd never been on a train. Except the Hogwarts Express. The Hogwarts Express! The spell!  
  
"EXPECTO PATRONUS!" she yelled, feeling her hand grasping her wand. Sass opened her eyes slowly, forcing herself /not/ to cry. "I- what happened?"  
  
A worried face was bent over her. Although she didn't recognize it, she knew she would soon. Sass groaned a little, feeling something digging into her back. Sass' life came back to her slowly at first, faster as she fought back unconsciousness. the adoption, the letter, Hogwarts, dementors, Severus, classes, Quidditch- and then seeing the dementors on the fields. Sass looked up again at the man who was crouched beside her. "You're Remus, right?" He nodded. Sass sat up slowly, feeling something pop in her back. She looked around. The stadium was empty.  
  
"Where- where is everyone?" she asked.  
  
Remus smiled a little. "Gone. The match ended right after the dementors showed up. Are you alright?"  
  
Sass nodded. "Yeah. what happened?"  
  
"Well, in terms of Quidditch, Harry fell off his broom when the dementors came, so Cedric Diggory- that's the Hufflepuff Seeker- got the Snitch. The game ended, and I started to leave with all the rest, until I saw a lovely red umbrella still up in the stands." He smiled at her. "I remembered you, and the dementors, and realized you might not have been able to fight them, and if the rumors are true, no one would help you if you collapsed." Remus raised an eyebrow and Sass nodded in confirmation.  
  
"Well, I came back up here, and you still were trapped in the memories induced by the dementors, even though they were gone. So I tried to snap you out of it. And here you are."  
  
Sass took a deep breath, trying /not/ to remember the end of the memory the dementors had replayed for her this time. She had never been raped, at least not physically, but you didn't need to rape someone to torture them. She knew.  
  
"I- Remus, say something, anything, distract me, /please/!" she said suddenly.  
  
Remus jumped a little, but said the first thing he thought of. "In the hall, did you really Stun those students?" he said.  
  
Sass forced her mind down this new path. "Yes," she said slowly. "Yes, I did. I'm not sure I could do it again, though."  
  
"Why not?" asked Remus.  
  
"Because I was furious. I hate bullies of any kind, but what they were doing to Severus. well, I know he's pretty evil to them, but /nothing/ I've ever heard warranted that."  
  
Remus chuckled a bit. "Oh, when I heard what'd happened, it took me forever to stop laughing. I mean, yeah, maybe he's nice to you, but he hates me completely, and, well. if I'd been there I would've stopped it, but. I imagine it must've been quite a sight." He noticed Sass' glare. "What? I know you two are friends, but I still don't like the man. And you have to admit, he is positively cruel to Gryffindors, no?"  
  
Sass nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, I had a talk about that with him just the other day." She grinned a bit. "I'm afraid he was a bit, ah, /rude/ in your class yesterday. Be prepared for a lot of complaints when you get back. He assigned us an essay on recognizing and killing werewolves," she added gingerly, looking to see how Remus reacted.  
  
"Shit!" he growled. "How /dare/ the little bastard do that." Then he looked at her. "Er." said Remus.  
  
Sass knew what he was doing. He was trying to think of how to explain. He'd obviously forgotten for a moment that she supposedly didn't know he was a werewolf. Sass cheered up even more. That meant that he'd forgotten that she was one of the students, and that she wasn't one of his closest friends, which, maybe, on reflection, she was.  
  
Remus was still sputtering, so Sass decided to take away the suspense. "I already know," she said quietly.  
  
"What?" he shouted. "You mean Snape /told/ you? He was under /orders/ from /Dumbledore/ not to-"  
  
"No, no, wait!" Sass said. "He didn't tell me!"  
  
Remus stopped yelling suddenly. "What?"  
  
"I said," repeated Sass, "That Severus didn't tell me."  
  
"Then how in the hell did you find out?" Remus replied.  
  
Sass sighed. "It's sorta a long story, and the person who told me made me swear never to tell you because he said you would kill him. Which seems pretty true." she jabbed at his violent reaction, smiling a little.  
  
Remus smiled, but wasn't distracted. "Then- who? Not that many people know. I mean, all the teachers do, but none of them would've-"  
  
Sass grinned. "You'll never guess who it was, so don't try. Oh, and about the essay- don't worry. Most of the people in that class are idiots, and they'll never make the connection. The only one I'd worry about is Hermione. she's too smart for her own good."  
  
Remus frowned a little at her phrasing, but let it pass. "Here," he said, pulling a large bar of chocolate out of his robes. "Eat this." Sass took the bar and began to munch on it. Remus pulled her up and they walked back to the castle together.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Ron Weasley walked quietly down the halls, searching in vain for something to do. Hermione was working on homework (no surprise there), and Harry was playing Seamus at chess. Nobody would play Ron anymore, claiming he was too good. That was fine, except that now Ron had nothing to do. So here he was, wandering around the castle.  
  
He passed the spot where his brothers, Fred and George, and their friends had ambushed Snape the other week. That had been a sight! But then that first year girl, Sass, had ratted them all out. He scowled. What a brat. /She deserves everything she's getting/, thought Ron. /And more. I mean, she betrayed her /own House-mates/ for /Snape/! Yeah, maybe they went a little bit overboard- especially if they didn't want to get caught- but she told! She /helped/ the slimy bastard!/  
  
/And besides/, he thought with a small shiver, /she scares me/. Ron remembered the look she'd had in her eyes as she Stunned the pranksters. Those grey eyes had glared viciously out of her small face, framed by chin- length black hair. /She was absolutely furious/, he thought. Sass had stared down practically every person in the corridor; quite a feat, considering she'd done it in the time it took to kneel down and put someone your shoulders. /And that scares me too/, he realized. //Nobody/ should be able to lift someone so much bigger than them onto their shoulders, especially a girl!/  
  
Ron suddenly clapped a hand to his mouth, looking quickly around in case somehow Hermione had heard his last thought. /She would kill me./  
  
When Hermione didn't appear, Ron was able to laugh at himself and his silly fears, but he still couldn't banish the image of that first year glaring daggers at him- /daring/ him to prove Snape deserved that he was getting. Which he did, of course- Sass was deluded- but he still couldn't meet those eyes, even in memory.  
  
Ron checked his muggle watch. It was almost curfew, time for him to be getting back. The others should be finished playing chess, and maybe he could coax them into playing a game of Gobstones. Harry said Gobstones was just like muggle checkers, which he'd apparently been pretty good at.  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
  
Sass watched as Ron came back into the common room, realizing with his start then grimace as he saw her that she must have been the subject of his recent thoughts. She now came back to the common room when she was done in the library, making a /pretense/ that she went to bed in her dorm, instead of in Myrtle's bathroom, courtesy of Sass' ghost-walker, or ghoster, as Sass liked to call it. Sass slumped back a little in her armchair. She was the most hated student in the school, which she supposed she ought to try and get used to. /But I just keep thinking, 'this place is so amazing, so magical, that the people just have to be better than the ones back home.' But they're really not, and I should stop deluding myself. My friends here are Severus, Myrtle, Remus, and Hermione and Sandra when they can. I'll just have to adjust. Like I said to Hermione. I draw hatred to myself just by existing./  
  
Sass checked her watch, and then trudged up to her dormitory to get her ghoster and Invisibility Cloak. She happily turned her mind to Myrtle when the chance presented itself. Dance lessons were going well; and to Sass' eye, the girl did seem slimmer. But the biggest difference was in Myrtle's self-confidence. The loneliness and doubt that had lessened with Sass' arrival were now all but gone. Myrtle no longer stayed in her toilet; she went around the castle like all the other ghosts, although she still avoided the students. Sass was really happy for her.  
  
Still thinking of Myrtle, Sass covered herself with the cloak, then whispered, "/creare fantasma/!" willing herself to drop through the floors as quickly as she could. Once she reached the second floor, she stopped, and drifted along towards Myrtle's bathroom for the remaining few seconds, and then knocked softly on the door.  
  
"Myrtle? It's me- Sass." The door creaked open and Myrtle looked out. Sass slipped in, then took off her cloak. "Hey Myrtle! Fancy a game of chess before I go to sleep?" The two girls grinned and sat down on the floor. Right now Sass didn't care about the other students, didn't care about anything, although she knew she would tomorrow. Right now, she was just happy.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The next morning at breakfast Sass was grumpy and tired, because she had stayed up with Myrtle until about four in the morning. She saw Jessica and Marisa talking to a couple of older students, who all looked at her as she sat down. The one of them called over to her, "Hey, Sass! You have fun in bed with him last night?" Sass supposed he must have pointed at someone. She didn't bother to look.  
  
"Bugger the hell off!" she said back, helping herself to toast and jam.  
  
That evening when she went to have her Animagus lesson with Sirius, she was still irritable, and so was even more hopeless than usual. Finally Sirius gave up and sat her down.  
  
"Sass, what's up? Spit it out."  
  
Sass sighed, and told him about staying up late and the boy at breakfast. Sirius growled a bit, then looked thoughtful. "So you didn't see who he pointed at? If you can't come up with some sort of counter, rumors are gonna be all over the school by this time tomorrow," he said.  
  
"No, but I can guess," Sass said. "I've had all day to think about it."  
  
"Well?" Sirius said when she offered no further comment. "Who do you think it was?"  
  
Sass suddenly realized she'd never told Sirius that she was friends with Severus. Well, it was too late to back out now.  
  
"Severus," she said simply.  
  
"What?" said Sirius, confused. "Why him? I mean-"  
  
"No, no," Sass said, mentally sighing. "I'm friends with him. I was raised in a muggle orphanage, and he was a teacher there for a while. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that's the only person they'd suspect. Except for maybe Remus, but they like him, so they wouldn't start rumors like that." She shrugged. "I know you hate him, but we're good friends, and no, he's not after me," she finished, forestalling Sirius' protests. He sat for a moment, digesting this.  
  
"Well, I won't deny that I have my doubts about Snape," he said finally. "But I trust your word. And there's one idea I have that you can try to stop people bothering you." He grinned a little. "There's a charm that's a variant of the Fidelius Charm, actually the original, simpler version. It's called the Lateus Charm, and it makes you unnoticeable. Not /invisible/, but people won't know who you are. They-" he frowned, "well, it's hard to explain, but they don't remember anything about you. You're just another person in a crowd. Do you want to try and learn it? It's quite advanced, but you should be able to handle it, and it gets easier every time you use it." He thought for a moment. "I won't be able to teach it to you, though. Ask Remus. I'm sure he'll help you."  
  
"Thanks, Sirius. I think that'll help a lot," Sass said, smiling happily.  
  
Sirius grinned slyly. "Good. Now, since you've got that off your shoulders, what do you say we try this charm again?"  
  
  
  
I'm sorry, another bad ending, but the next part really needs to be in its own chapter, so whatever. And you have now reached the end of my story, the other chapters will be up sporadically, as I write them. But now the reviews.  
  
flowerlily99- thank you, you were my first reviewer and I REALLY appreciate it. Glad you liked.  
  
geuss- thanks! I'm hurrying!  
  
Iggie- I'm glad you like it, your story is great too! (Everyone else go read Seeing Grey by Iggie!)  
  
harrypottermagic32- thanks for ploughing through, I hope the formatting is better in this version.  
  
Ashitiba- Thanks for reviewing, as I said before I don't mind your not reviewing, I'm glad you like it!  
  
Diety- THANK YOU!!!!!! You are the best, and I really appreciate your advice. I hope you continue to give it.  
  
Safety Munkey- Thanks! I'm glad you like this as well as Shadowdancer. And I am now planning on continuing to post this, because people say I should. Thanks!  
  
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	11. A Cold Stone Embrace

Well, I know, I know, this took FOREVER, but trust me! No one regrets it more than I do! I have school!!!!! *mutters grumpily about homework and certain teachers* And w/ soccer, I don't get home until 6- EVERY DAY! And on Wed's it's not till 9:15. then, I get to START MY HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't touched a computer since last weekend! So give me a break, OK? I'll try to do this as fast as I can.  
  
Oh- friends from school, if/when you review, will you PLEASE let me know who you are?? Email me, whatever. I have an email listed in my author bio (click on my penname), and if you know my other one, you can use that too, if you don't want to leave your real name on the site. Please? I love all reviews, but it makes me even happier if I know who you are. Thanks! And an especial thanks to whoever R/R-ed Shadowdancer too- you rock! Ok, ok, I'll let you read the fic now.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 11- A Cold Stone Embrace  
  
  
  
Sass huddled in a small corner of a little-used corridor, sobbing silently. She didn't know why she was upset, she didn't know anything except she was desperately sad and lonely, but needing to be alone. Even Myrtle wouldn't be able to help her out of this. /I want to be normal/, she cried. /I want to have friends, a family, a boyfriend, a life, for God's sake! But./ the facts presented themselves, marching in straight little lines like soldiers, bright and thoughtless. /My parents are dead. They were probably muggles. My only father-figure hates me. and just knowing Him will /keep/ me from having any other friends, boy-friends included. Emara and Michelle are wonderful, but they're in /Tokyo/. They can't help me much here. And, honestly. I don't want to worry them. They have enough to do without me. And what /is/ life, exactly? If it's breathing and eating the food other people have grown, then I've got it. But,/ she stood up and paced down the hall, looking for a window, /I think it's something more. Something I don't have. Oh god./ It was the middle of the night. She didn't know if He was looking for her, and didn't care. They had been talking earlier that evening. Sass was still trying to get him to ease up on the Griffindors, and she'd said something wrong, she didn't know what.  
  
Severus stood up, his face suddenly a mask of rage. "I don't know what you're problem is, Sass!" he yelled. "But you know what? I don't really care any more. Go!" Sass stayed where she was, frozen in shock. /What's wrong? Why is he acting like this?/ When Severus saw she wasn't leaving, he snarled. "Well, what's wrong? Last I knew, there wasn't anything wrong with your /hearing/, at least." /He's just mad, he doesn't really mean it, he can't mean it-/ Sass thought frantically. She /couldn't/ let herself believe that Severus meant those things. There was no way. "Or maybe there is," Severus, no, this was the /Snape/ of legend in Gryffindor, sneered. "In that case I can make it clearer." He pointed dramatically to the door, and put his face close to hers. "Go. Leave. Go talk trash about me with all your Gryffindor friends, don't think I don't know you do. Just get the hell out of here, and stop pretending you're not just like all the rest!" With the last word, Snape punched her across the cheek with his left fist, making her stumble into the doorframe.  
  
Sass gasped in shock, raising her hand to where he had struck her. /He hit me- he hit me, he's just like the rest of them, he /hit/ me!/ Without another word, she fled out the door, biting back tears. She would not give Him the pleasure of seeing her pain.  
  
Blinded by the tears she would not let fall- yet- Sass sprinted down the hall, knowing that He would never be able to catch her, not ever again, because she was training, and she was strong now- and she could be alone if she wanted to.  
  
Sass finally found a window, and she opened it quickly, standing on the thick ledge. She looked out at the night- beautiful and clear, a perfect contrast to her dark feelings. She briefly wondered what it would feel like to jump, and never have to worry again. but that was not what she had come here for. Sass leaned out and looked for a foothold. She lifted herself off of the window ledge and began to climb up the wall.  
  
The first ledge she reached, Sass shed her robes, knowing she would be unable to move in them. She tucked the black bundle into a nook, thinking she might be able to come back for it, then continued her climb.  
  
Handhold, foothold, reach, touch, pull- Sass was acutely aware of everything around her, from the whip of the cold wind around her body to the slight pain of her scars as she stretched to find holds. Tears continued to fall from her face, forcing her to climb blind. No matter- although Sass was not attempting to commit suicide, she could not really say she cared at this point if she did die. /Who would care, anyway?/ she asked herself. /Emara and Michelle barely know me- they'd mourn, yes, but they would move on. They might even adopt another child./ She turned this around in her head as she felt for a foothold, and found it to be true. /Remus would be incredibly sad- he's already lost his brother this year- but he, too, would be fine. And-/ she thought hard before saying this even to herself, but she was sure it would be so. /He might even feel a little bit relieved- I'm one less person who could betray his secret. And Sandra and Hermione would be fine. They, too would be upset, but it would pass, as all things do. Myrtle- Myrtle's fine now, she doesn't need me anymore. She would miss me, but she's made friends with some of the other ghosts, and they would be able to help her. And then- Him- Snape-/ she stopped for a moment, resting her forehead against the cool stone of Hogwarts. /I don't know what he would do/. She made a sudden jerking motion and began to climb once again. And I don't care. /He's just like Paul, he hit me- I- I- / Jumping seemed a like a better idea now. Sass pulled herself up on another window ledge and turned to face the view before her. She was at the sixth floor, more than enough to ensure death if she jumped. Wind blasted Sass furiously, lifting up her chin-length black hair, and whipping her tee- shirt and shorts. She never wore clothes like this in public, because someone would see the scars. Scars, both mental and physical, that criss- crossed her like the swaying branches of the trees she saw below, endless and dark.  
  
Sass looked up at the stars, wondering if she wanted to- needed to- really do this. And a sudden gust of wind blew her again, so she faced the wall, and not the oblivion. Warm tears fell from her cheeks and froze as the wind hit them. She would live, then. live to fight. and live to learn and to give. Give but never receive. Sass took a deep breath and started to climb once again, attempting to pull herself out of the dark hole that beckoned. She did not know why she felt the urge to climb, but climb she did. The seventh floor came, and then the eighth. Sass could feel her body chilling, and knew that if she were to stop moving now, it would be almost certain death, for it was December, and the night was cold enough to kill if one wished. But Sass continued to go up, past the tenth floor, and the twelfth. Hogwarts only had sixteen floors, and in a few hours, the cold dawn would come, illuminating her, a small being clinging to the walls of the great stone castle. At the fourteenth floor, Sass found an undercut, and realized that she would not be able to continue.  
  
"NO!" she screamed, speaking aloud for the first time since she had left His office. "I can't stop now! I- I almost made it!" She frantically began to climb sideways, looking for a way to continue up. She knew she was being irrational, knew she should just go back inside, but that somehow didn't matter anymore. And then, an opportunity came, in the form of a corner with a drainpipe. Sass saw the small grey cylinder go up, then out on the two-meter overhang, angling back in as the castle sloped back in to it's normal size. A risky proposition- but she didn't care. She grasped the small tube in her hands, feeling that it was much smoother than the wall of the castle. Sass took a deep breath, and moved her feet so they were on the bar too, trusting her full weight to it.  
  
Sass closed her eyes for a moment, opened them, and began to climb again. The cruel wind pushed at her as she clung, squirrel-like, to the drainpipe, inching her way slowly out, away from the wall. She glanced down for a moment, and saw the ground, over fifty meters below her.  
  
Every time Sass took a hand or foot off the pipe, it seemed like the wind gusted, trying to force her to let go. But she clung tight, refusing to fall. /Nothing will make me do anything I don't want to/, she thought fiercely at it. /If I choose to take my life, I will do it under my own power, not yours. I *will- not- fall*/.  
  
Finally Sass reached the edge of the overhang. She tentatively gripped the edge with a hand, then two. Sass realized there was no way she could scramble over this thing. She took a deep breath, checked her handholds, and let her feet slip off the drainpipe.  
  
The wind buffeted her slender body, trying to whip her away. For a moment Sass was powerless in its strength, unable to do anything but hold on. Then the wind slowed for a moment and Sass pulled herself up in one smooth motion- she was as strong as she'd ever been.  
  
Sass lay on the stone ledge for a moment, allowing the cold of the stone to seep into her body, taking away her emotions. She barely remembered why she was out here- why tears still fell from her eyes onto numb cheeks. But her purpose was clear. Sass crawled back over to the wall of the castle and started to scale the fifteenth floor. She found the climbing harder now- her body was cold, and the muscles did not want to obey her in their fatigue. Sass forced herself up every inch, though. She knew that for whatever reason, she /had/ to reach the top of this building.  
  
And all at once, the end came. Sass pulled herself up onto the circular roof of the East Tower. And to her surprise, she found a chair sitting on the top, made of stone, facing east. She collapsed into it gratefully; all her problems were rushing back now that she had achieved her goal. The sun was starting to rise- Sass could see the grey on the horizon that heralded its coming. She knew she would have to return to the inside soon, and resume the daily round of classes and taunting, but she couldn't help but linger. Sass felt her heartbeat slowing, and her limbs going numb. She knew she was in danger of catching pneumonia, but the grey- the grey was so beautiful! She watched in a dream as it crept across the sky, illuminating the Forbidden Forest and Hogwarts. Sass could barely feel the tears rolling down her cheeks, and yet she wasn't cold anymore. She knew she ought to be sad, upset, angry, scared- but none of it mattered. Just the sunrise.  
  
Now the blue was following the grey, and Sass looked down from her seat to see a Care of Magical Creatures Class walking outside.  
  
/WHAT/? Suddenly Sass' numbness was shattered. She needed to get down, or else she'd miss Transfigurations! She stood up abruptly, and swayed for a moment before she was able to force herself to climb into a window below her. Then she thought quickly, thinking of a way to get to her room and change into robes and then get to class quickly. How she wished she knew how to do a Summoning Charm! But she'd manage. She always did.  
  
Sass ran down the corridor, keeping her ears open for any sounds that might warn her of someone's approach. She felt lightheaded and a little dizzy, but she dismissed that, as well as the pounding pain in her feet from being so cold, and then forced to run. Fortunately, she met no one on her way to the dorms. She hurriedly pulled on her robes, taking a quick glance in the communal mirror. /Shit/, she thought.  
  
Her face was stark white, and her eyes, glowing and bloodshot, had huge bags under them. When she moved a hand up to touch her cheek, it was burning hot. /I must've caught something./ she thought. /But I can't let anyone know!/ She quickly rooted through Marisa's makeup supplies, looking for anything skin-toned. Finally she found something, and kept putting it on until her face looked some semblance of normal. Then she took a deep breath to keep from passing out, and forced herself to run to Transfigurations.  
  
Once she reached the classroom, Sass stopped for a moment, pushing down her short black hair and trying to convince her body that it really /didn't/ need to pass out just now, thanks all the same. Once she'd caught her breath, she slowly pushed the door open.  
  
Professor McGonagall stopped in the middle of her sentence as Sass entered. Her narrowed eyes instantly took in Sass' disheveled robes, quick breath, and slightly flustered expression. She raised a single eyebrow- this was Sass' first time ever being late to a class. "Ten points from Griffindor for tardiness," she said, and continued on with the lesson. Sass walked slowly to the back of the classroom, where she sat. She couldn't hear McGonagall, or the snickers and whispers of the other first-years. There was a curious roaring in her ears, and the urge to give in to it was so tempting. but she knew she mustn't. But why? Oh yeah, they'd find out about Him and her climb up the walls.  
  
Sass sat down numbly, watching everything grow larger, then smaller, then darken, then fade to white. She saw His face, suddenly, and gasped, not seeing the looks her classmates gave her. She didn't feel Sandra gently shaking her arm, didn't hear her whisper, "Sass- Sass? What's wrong?"  
  
Sass felt herself start to fall, and she knew she must decide whether to fight it or not. The darkness embraced her with loving arms-  
  
  
  
He he he.  
  
Diety!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm glad you like the longer- chapter version. YOU ROCK!!! Thanks a mill.  
  
Someone else.OS:GHJSEHJ:OGTWS:HJ:  
  
Ok, you all know the drill, REVIEW! I have school now, so I really need motivation to pound these out, cuz I just don't have time. 


	12. Hope Of Recovery

Um, I don't remember what my formatting was before, but bolds are in *.* alright?  
  
Heck, this is starting to get really angsty. :{ But don't worry, I think it'll get better pretty soon, at least a little. Um, well, the thing that Remus tells Sass about, I got that idea from a fic called So Glad To Break It To You, by Green-Eyed Lady. It's REALLY good, and anyone who wants to know more about that whole mess should go read it, cuz that's where I'm coming from on that point. Oh- and the other fic that sometimes influences Remus and even Sev a bit is Seeing Grey by Ignominia (or something like that). It's really quite good and if I haven't said so already then you should go read it. K? k.  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 12- Hope of Recovery  
  
  
  
  
  
And suddenly she came back to herself. Her head ached horribly, and her body couldn't decide whether she was in a freezer or a furnace. He was gone, and Professor McGonagall stood at the front of the class. She hadn't noticed. Sass closed her eyes for a moment, as the room was beginning to spin. When she opened them, there was a haze around her visio n, but she was able to hear the teacher's voice, albeit like through a tunnel. She shook Sandy's arm off her robes, nodding that she was fine. She couldn't let anyone know what was going on.  
  
Somehow Sass managed to struggle through the class, though later, she could never remember how. She skipped Defense. Remus knew her too well- she would never be able to hide her sickness from him. She snuck in and forced herself to eat a bit of toast for lunch, though she didn't want to. It didn't end up mattering, as she threw up within five minutes.  
  
And that was how the next couple of days went. Every night she made the climb up Hogwarts, and sat in the stone chair until morning. Every day she forced herself through her classes by sheer willpower. She knew this couldn't go on for much longer- sooner or later she was bound to pass out- but she found she didn't care. The only time she found peace from that memory- *smash!* - was at night, and that always turned to day, forcing her back down into the hated castle. She trained in every spare moment, instead of studying, so that she would be able to escape- to beat Him, if he ever came after her.  
  
Eventually Myrtle found her. It was nighttime, and she was headed for the window so she could begin her climb. The silvery girl came streaming down the corridor, her face in her hands. She saw Sass, and stopped. "Oh-" she said, curiously formal. "Sass. I didn't see you."  
  
Sass blinked, trying to figure out what was going on. "Heya Myrtle," she finally managed to force out.  
  
Myrtle took a deep breath, obviously steeling herself for something. "Look, Sass, I heard what you've been saying about me in the common room, and- well- how could you do that?"  
  
"Er- what? Myrtle, I don't talk exactly in the common room, I'm not in there ever," Sass said blurrily, still not quite sure what Myrtle meant.  
  
"What do you mean?" Myrtle yelled angrily. "I've heard! Well, I'm just here to tell you that it's over! No more pity-talks, no more sleepovers in my bathroom, and /no more pretending to like me!/ I'm going to do just fine without you, so go away! I don't ever want to see you again!" Shedding tears, Myrtle fled through a wall.  
  
Sass stared blankly at the spot she'd disappeared, still processing the information. Suddenly it clicked. "Oh god."  
  
She sank to the floor, mindlessly watching spots dance before her eyes. "I didn't say anything bad about her ever, did I?" she asked the air, not expecting an answer.  
  
None came. After a moment, Sass scrambled out the window and began to climb. She didn't cry about her new loss- she had cried too long and too often this week to be able to. The new ache in her gut remained unpurged.  
  
Once she reached the top, Sass sat there until the weak winter sun rose on her pale face, wishing- always wishing.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The second Thursday after her first ascent of Hogwarts, Sass knew she had to do this- go to His class. If she didn't, then she would never be able to defeat him. By now she knew she looked like crap and was no longer willing to bother with Marisa's makeup, so it showed. She hadn't slept in over a week, and the nights in the cold and the rain were taking their toll. A few of the third years stared at her as she entered the room- no one knew what had happened. Sass sat down heavily in her usual seat, waiting for Him to enter, wondering what his reaction would be.  
  
Snape entered. He didn't seem to see her as he strode down the middle of the classroom and up to his desk. He turned. "Today," he said curtly, "we will make a Freezing Potion. It-" He saw her and stopped suddenly. Shock and worry flitted across his face before they were replaced by a hard, cruel expression that Sass had never seen before. It made her think of what Snape had been- what he had been like when he was a Death Eater. She shrank back in the chair, though she didn't break eye contact. After a moment, Snape continued.  
  
"A few drops of a Freezing Potion will cause an object to become very cold. It is used for perishable foods, mostly, but can also aid in reducing a fever. Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Celeborn, you need to pay attention." Sass had allowed her head to drop to her desk as he talked, and didn't see why she should go to the effort of lifting it back up for Him. She propped her chin up, so that she could look at him, as a compromise.  
  
Snape glared at the class, who were looking at him incredulously. A few seemed not to understand what they'd heard- Snape, taking points, from /her/? His little friend? Snape continued to speak once again. "These are the components. I will expect you to have added the first set by the end of the lesson. We will continue this potion next week." As he turned to write the ingredients for the potion on the board, Sass slipped out the back of the room. She shouldn't have come. It was a mistake to think she would ever have been able to face Him down. She was too weak.  
  
She was surprised to find herself in the Great Hall, but figured it didn't matter where she was. There was a lovely fuzziness invading her mind, and now there was no teachers or students to stop her from letting go. Sass idly sat down at one of the House tables, vaguely aware that it wasn't hers. But of course, who cared? They all hated her, so it didn't make a difference one way or another- death or life, Slytherin or Gryffindor. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her to a place where nothing hurt, and she could be alone.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass heard a curious buzzing in her ears. Someone was shaking her, telling her she needed to wake up. /But the blackness feels so nice/, she thought painfully, /and this hurts./ The voice grew more insistent, and was joined by others, some jeering at her, some begging her to /please/ be okay. It was that first voice that finally did it, though- they just wouldn't leave her alone. Something about it-  
  
Sass opened her eyes groggily to the worried face of Remus Lupin. "Heya Remus," she said. "Long time no see."  
  
"Sass!" he said, picking her up. "Come on, I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing."  
  
This penetrated the haze of fog through which she had been thinking. "No wait!" she said suddenly, trying to struggle.  
  
"No, Sass, I don't know why you didn't want to get treated for this and I don't care. And it's no use trying to struggle. You're sick- and I am very, very strong," he added with a wry smile. /Oh yeah- he's a werewolf, isn't he?/ Sass thought.  
  
"But- I-"  
  
"Sass," Remus said, looking down at her sadly. "Please. Just let us get you better, and then we can talk. Okay? Once you're healthy, you can do whatever you want."  
  
Sass really didn't feel like fighting, and right now she was so warm. She sighed and nodded slowly, letting sleep claim her once again, so she missed Remus' triumphant smile. He /would/ find out what had happened to make her so sad- and she would heal, someday soon.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Severus followed Lupin down the hall at a discreet distance, watching the small bundle in his arms worriedly. He knew he had made a mistake in yelling at Sass like that, but he had heard the things she'd been saying about him. On top of it, yet another full moon had gone by without Lupin's cover as a werewolf being destroyed- he was so bloody frustrated! His students were being more obstinate than usual, Dumbledore was pestering him about something or another, probably just like Sass, trying to get him to be nice to the 'poor Gryffindors.' Well, he was a Slytherin, and he'd go back to Voldemort before he'd be nice to Potter and his fan club. Which, from the sound of things, was exactly what Sass was doing. Talking to Granger, probably laughing at all the things he'd told her, about how that bastard Snape was opening his heart up.  
  
Severus suddenly realized what he was thinking and stopped abruptly. /Wait a minute/, he thought. /I can't assume things. Remember? I was going to apologize. but why? If she really has been saying those things about me, she deserved getting hit./ He remembered the look in her eyes just before she had fled out his door- of betrayal, of hurt more emotional than physical. He had reduced her to what she had been at the orphanage- barely more than an animal, out of her mind with fear and pain. Severus remembered the satisfaction he had felt at that look- before he'd thought about what he'd done- and mentally recoiled from himself. /What sort of monster am I, that I could feel that way at another person's pain?/  
  
/But she's like my daughter. and if she betrayed me./  
  
He angrily banished his thoughts, forcing himself to remember the vow he'd made when he was eight- he would never cry, ever. /And I won't now. She isn't worth it./ But nonetheless, he continued to follow Lupin, who carried the slight pale girl in his arms as if she was made of glass. When Remus reached the Hospital Wing, Severus slipped in behind him. As soon as she comes to, I'll talk to her, and then we'll see, he decided firmly. /If she didn't say- those things- then I'll apologize, and if she did. well, I won't, and she'll never have to be different than any other Gryffindor again./ He watched the other man put Sass in a bed, and go off to find Poppy Pomfrey, the nurse. This was his chance. Severus moved to Sass' bed and shook her gently.  
  
"Sass? Sass- wake up. We need to talk." The girl's grey eyes opened, and she smiled for a moment, but then must have remembered what he'd done. She shrank back from his gentle touch, staring mistrustfully. Severus bit his lip for a moment before finding words.  
  
"Sass, I've been hearing some- things- that you said about me, that were- well, you know what you said. Did you say them?" He watched her carefully, despite everything still hoping that she would say no and mean it.  
  
She blinked for a moment. One point against her. Then she closed her eyes and wrinkled her brow, obviously trying to come up with something to tell him. Two points. Then she opened her eyes again, but wouldn't meet his gaze, shifting a little in her bed, despite the fact that it obviously caused her pain. Three. She seemed to forget he was there for a moment, gaze unfocused. His heart clenched inwardly with pain. No matter what she said now, he knew the truth- everything he'd heard was true. But he wanted to hear it from her own lips, hear it so that he would be sure. Finally, she sighed.  
  
"No," she said blurrily. "'Cept- 'cept- you- yur soundin' like Myrtle, but I didn' say nuthin' bad on her, too, 'cause she's being mad a'me too. But you-"  
  
He cut her off violently, unable to stand any more of this crap. "I don't want to hear it," he said harshly, pushing against her side to stand up, not caring about her sudden gasp of pain. "Any of it." He looked down at her. "You're worse than all the others put together. At least they're honest in their hatred." He curled his lip at her, then strode quickly out the door, hearing the werewolf come back in just as he left. And then he concentrated solely on keeping the tears from falling, because he didn't want to believe that Sass had done this- but she had, she had betrayed him, and now he could never trust her again.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass heard someone- /Remus/, she remembered- come back into the room, but she didn't care. He hated her, he hated her, and he had hurt her again. She remembered her way of life back at the orphanage, and then how miraculous it had seemed when Michelle and Emara had changed everything. Now she resented them- they had weakened her. She used to not care about words- except Milord Paul's, but no one else could have hurt her. She knew now that her old life was not the exception- it was the rule, and she was a fool to have thought otherwise.  
  
Sass ignored Madam Pomfrey's fussing about chills and illness and recovery time. Chills? They were unimportant- it probably wouldn't kill her, and if they did, so what? And recovery time- the only recovery she needed to make fast was regaining her old kind of trust- or rather, her old lack of trust. /I was starting to trust everyone- Hermione, Myrtle, Snape, Sandra, Remus- I can't do that. Too many weaknesses./ Suddenly Remus' face filled her vision. He leaned over her.  
  
"Sass, please, /please/, just tell me what happened? God, I won't tell anyone, you know I would never hurt you- please." Mutely, Sass shook her head. She remembered those words- Snape had said them, many times over the years, and then he had turned. They all did, eventually- there was no one she could trust.  
  
Remus closed his eyes, and sat down. "Listen," he said quietly. "Madam Pomfrey is gone. She won't hear. And I /swear/, I swear by everything that's sacred, that I will never tell anyone what you tell me." He opened his eyes again, and said, hesitantly, "Will you at least tell me why you got so sick?"  
  
Looking into those eyes, Sass was hard pressed not to let the whole story come rushing out. The only way she could stop herself was remembering the pain of Severus' fist against her right cheek. But surely just telling him a little couldn't hurt. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, carefully checking every word before she let it out of her mouth.  
  
"I have been climbing up to the top of the school every night."  
  
Remus inhaled sharply. She could tell he was surprised. "For how long? /Why/?"  
  
She thought about that. That would be all right to tell, as if she was careful. "About a week and a half. I- I argued with someone."  
  
She wished Remus would stop looking at her like that. His eyes pierced her, warm and serious at the same time, somehow. His next question was nothing more than a breath, quiet as moonlight. "/Who?/"  
  
What could she tell him? Should she say? Those eyes bored into her, begging her to trust them, and try as she might, she could not turn away. This was her last hope- the last belief in anything good- and she didn't want to let it go. "Severus," she whispered.  
  
"What did he do?" Remus gently prodded.  
  
She suddenly felt the fear come back, and knew he saw it by the disappointment in his eyes. She shook her head, choking back tears. She /wouldn't/ cry.  
  
"Let me tell you something," Remus said quietly. He sat down on her bedside. "Severus hurt me once too. Will you at least think about telling me after that?"  
  
Sass was once again subjected to that caring gaze- she didn't want to hurt Remus, she didn't want to push him away. and he had only said /think /about telling him- she still didn't have to.  
  
Slowly, silently, Sass nodded.  
  
*winces* sorry, I know I said lupin would tell about all that stuff in this chapter, but it's Sunday evening and I really want to get this chapter up, so I'm ending it there. The lupin stuff willl be in the next chapter, I swear. K? K.  
  
ok, sorry harrypottermagic32, you were 'someone else'- I forgot to go see what your review said and answer it. here- THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! Here's the next chap.  
  
Me- yeah, I reviewed my own story. Hmm. Call me psychopath, k? K.  
  
Diety- I DID end it there! And I'll take the evil bit as a compliment. Is this ending any better? He he he.  
  
SafetyMunkey- yeah, school is BLOODY irritating. I get about 2 hrs per day. if you consider homework time to yourself. Thank GOD for weekends. Yeah, sass is in a lot of trouble right now. I think she'll- did I almost say that? Never mind..  
  
harrypottermagic32- Thanks! Yep. Like I said, sass' havin a pretty tough time of it.  
  
Friend from ash. - will u PLEASE tell me who you are!!!!! There's an email address if you don't know my other one- just click on 'riverlady' at the top of any chapter. it would make me so happy.  
  
THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS YOU GUYS!!!! I HAVE TWO PAGES WORTH!!!!!!!!!  
  
R E V I E W!!!!!!!!!! The button's just down there.  
  
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	13. Protector

Wow. this is a long a/n. k, if you don't feel like reading it, just skip to the fic.  
  
I dunno if this is as good as some of my other chapters- I know what I want to have happen, but I'm having trouble writing it. Oh- and if anyone has plot ideas, let me know in a review. I can't promise I'll take them, but I'm always open to suggestions.  
  
This recap of SGTBITY is very short- I really suggest that you go read the real thing, cuz it's REALLY good.  
  
Oh- the name, 'nichka', that Remus calls Sass- I just added that- it means little spark, and I'm putting the first mention in the birthday scene, just so you know, okay? Cool.  
  
Hyena/Shrek (sorry! eep!), my buddy on JV1, if you read this, PLZ drop a review when your logged in so I can go find your story. I tried to email you but hotmail wouldn't cooperate.  
  
Are any of you guys Mercedes Lackey fans? If so, I challenge you to find a variation on a quote by Vanyel in Magic's Price. Doughnut (flavor of choice) to anyone who finds it.  
  
Hey! Two chapters in one week! This is a record or something! Ok, lol. or at least I'm gonna try my bloody hardest to get this out tonight.  
  
Oy, reviewers? Do you guys think this needs to be PG-13? Cuz I've started to cuss more, and some suicidal tendancies have worked their way in. let me know what you think in a review!! Thanks.  
  
Disclaimer Update: as I have said, there is a variation on a quote from Magic's Price in here. I don't own that book, and I'm not being paid to put it in here- which you should know. K?  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 13- Protector  
  
Remus took a deep breath. "Okay. Well, I'm sure you don't know this, but the day that- that James and Lily died, well that was a full moon. I had just spent the night locked in my own basement. The next morning, I woke up to Severus. /He/ was the one who told me that the Potters had died, along with Peter- betrayed- betrayed by Black." Sass almost told him, he looked so sad, but stopped herself just in time. Better not to. She needed to keep Sirius' innocence a secret, in case he betrayed her too. After a moment, Remus continued.  
  
"But he didn't tell me right away, oh no." Sass was unnerved by the bitterness and pain that still lingered in Remus' voice. Severus must have taken him apart, to make him still hurt this much, after twelve years. "He started by taunting me, mocking my weakness, telling me I was an animal. I'd heard it all before, but I'm always weaker after the moon." His eyes clouded for a moment, and Sass silently moved her head in respect of what he went through every month. He told her more, and Sass listened in amazement. She could not imagine being able to come through a dissection of that cruelty. She probably would have killed herself.  
  
"Anyway, he drew it out as much as he could, truly made me feel disgusting- not only an animal, worse than an animal, for the pretense of humanity. and sometimes I still wonder- but we are so similar, both outcast for things we can't help, both trying to aid those who scorn us anyway- well, that's what Albus told me, but it /still hurts/, Sass." He looked straight into her eyes, sharing the pain he must know she felt. "Not a week goes by when I don't remember what he said that morning- and wonder if maybe he's right, and I /do/ just want the blood, not care about anything else- that's what he did to me, Sass, and I can't ever forgive that. And I will never tell anyone what he did to you, if you will tell me. Because sometimes it helps to talk- and I will do anything I can to help you." Then he simply sat back. No piercing eyes, no pleading looks now. He wanted her to decide. But she couldn't trust.  
  
"Just let me think about it, okay?" she whispered. "I don't know." Remus smiled, almost masking his disappointment. Sass felt a moment of regret- but if she did decide to trust him, she could always tell him later, and she was so tired.  
  
"Alright, Sass. That's fine," Remus said, reaching for something on her bedside table. "Here. Drink this. It's from Madam Pomfrey, and it will help you sleep." He put the goblet to her lips, and Sass drank obediently, more than ready to find oblivion. She would think about all of this when she woke up.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass didn't know it, but Remus kept watch over her all day and night. He saw how much younger she looked when she slept- he knew it was the strength of her personality. A lock of dark hair fell into her eyes and he brushed it gently away. She felt- almost like a daughter to him, he felt that strongly. He had been worried when she first told him she knew of his lycanthropy, but now it seemed right, fitting, that she should know everything about him. He hoped that he could save her from her pain, push it away before it could begin to eat at her. And Severus- he would pay for this.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Severus was brooding. As he ate dinner in the Great Hall, his gaze kept shifting to Lupin's empty seat. He was probably still with Sass. Severus scowled. All those Gryffindors were alike- even Albus. They all saw Slytherins as clones of Voldemort and Salazar Slytherin- never bothered to see if that was actually /true/.  
  
He also found himself watching the twin first-years who'd clued him into Sass' betrayal. Not by telling him, oh no, they'd never be so kind. He'd seen them in a hall with a couple of those damned sixth years that had pulled the prank on him last month. Their conversation stopped suddenly as he came into view- he knew he tended to do that, and didn't care. But as he'd walked around the corner, he heard the whispers begin.  
  
"Have you heard some of the stories that Sass has been telling about him?"  
  
"Yeah, and he thinks she's an outcast, boo-hoo. Hah. What a sucker."  
  
"Stupid git."  
  
He'd stayed there, hidden behind the corner, until the group disbanded, unable to be sure that they weren't telling the truth. Then he'd met Sass in his office, as he often did, but had exploded when she would /not/ stop pestering him about his- yes, he knew it- unfairness to Gryffindors. And now he knew. She hadn't admitted it, but her body language had all but shouted out her guilt.  
  
But he still didn't want it to be true-  
  
Severus savagely chewed a bite out of his steak, angry at his heart's stubborn refusal to give in to the wisdom of his head. /I'm bloody sick of Gryffindor and everyone in it. And I need to go hit something. Now./  
  
He abruptly excused himself from the High Table and exited the hall. He'd go to the Teachers' Training Room- it should be empty since everyone was eating dinner, and contained punching bags aplenty. Maybe that way he wouldn't kill anyone. /Though God knows I'd like to../  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass came slowly out of the enchanted blackness she had lain in unwillingly, but steadily. She felt herself groaning as feeling came back, including a skull four sizes too small, a nose that felt stuffed with cotton, and a persistent ache in the back of her throat. She opened her eyes.  
  
"Hello, sleepyhead!" Remus said cheerfully, earning himself a glare that caused him to laugh. "Oh, come on, you didn't expect us to let you sleep all the way 'till Christmas break, did you?  
  
"Huh- what?" Sass said groggily. "'Ow long wad I azleeb?"  
  
Remus smiled. "Six days. It's Wednesday the twelfth. And we're both missing my class, so you had better be grateful. No- I was just kidding," he said quickly when he saw she was going to try to come up with an apology. "Seriously. Madam Pomfrey says she got rid of the worst of the pneumonia, which means you should actually be feeling better in about a day. What hurts?"  
  
Sass took a moment to answer, trying to clear some of the fog from her brain. "By 'ed- an' my troad, and by dose id duffed. Bud- 'ow did I ged sick?" But she didn't hear whatever Remus said, because the instant she asked, it all came back. Everything. She closed her eyes for a moment, and by Remus' expression when she opened them, Sass knew a mask had drawn over her face. Which was precisely as it should be.  
  
"Sass- if you want to talk about it-"  
  
She hated to disappoint him, but she just couldn't do this, set herself up for this kind of pain again. /I will never make that mistake again- ever/. "I'b dorry, Rebud," she said, hating her voice for screwing up her words. "Babee avder a bile, ben id doden't 'urd do buch. Bud I jusd cad." She closed her eyes, drowning herself in the pure physical pain she felt. In a way, she welcomed it, so that she had a reason to feel miserable. /Just like Remus after the Potters died./ she thought, though she regretted it instantly. No, she didn't want to commiserate with Remus. Even he might turn if she trusted him with her soul.  
  
Remus put a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she did not flinch away. "That's okay Sass. It'll all work out. And-"  
  
He was interrupted by the Infirmary door slamming open. Sev-Snape stood there, obviously in a rage. Sass shrank back instinctively, though she mentally slapped herself for showing weakness. Remus saw this, and his dark blue eyes grew cold and hard. He stood up abruptly, putting himself between Sass and the dark figure in the doorway. "What do you want, Snape?" he said curtly.  
  
Snape sneered. "It's a matter of contention between me," he jerked his head roughly at Sass, "and her."  
  
Remus took a slow step forward, and then another. "Let me just tell you now, /Snape/, that there is /no way/ on this planet that I will let you anywhere near Sass, even for a second. If I can, I will even get her out of your class. But no need to yell in the Hospital Wing. Let's discuss it in the hall." It was a command, and Snape obeyed it, though it obviously galled him to do so. Sass couldn't hear what they said, so she started trying to remember the seven variations on the Fidelius Charm that she'd looked up.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Remus followed Snape out into the hallway, keeping a tight rein on his temper. /It won't do Sass any good to make Snape even more mad at her, though only God knows why he's angry in the first place. It's so tempting to hit him with a couple of curses, though. no, I can't do that. Sass is the important thing in this, and it wouldn't help/. Snape turned curtly back to him and said, "Well? What do you want to talk about?" Remus thought briefly how much he could get away with, decided he didn't care, and grinned ferally. He was about to use his lupine strength. He slammed Snape against the wall, holding him off the ground by the front of his robes. He put his face very close to Snape's, enunciating every word.  
  
"Listen, /Snape/," he said furiously. "I don't know /what/ you did to that girl to upset her, but I /just/ wanted you to know how she's reacted." Snape started to say something, but Remus cut him off, frustrated and angry and /knowing/ Snape was the cause.  
  
"She climbed the school- yes, the /whole damn/ school, even the overhang on the fourteenth floor, every night, /in the cold/, for a week and a /half/, until she bloody /collapsed/, from exhaustion and /pneumonia/, for God's sake! And now I've just barely gotten her to trust me even a /little/, and I will /die/ before I let you near her, /you hear me/? Because I /know/ it was something you did- and she doesn't deserve to have a bastard like you screwing up her life like /you/ did to /me/!  
  
"And you know what else? I don't know if she's /ever/ going to trust anyone as much /ever/ again. I'll be damned if I know why she trusted you so much, but she bloody /did/, and you-" he dropped Snape to the floor, glaring down at the shocked man, "-you betrayed her. And I can't exact the revenge I'd like to on you, but I can and /will/ make sure that you /never/, /ever/, hurt her again." With a last withering glare, Remus turned on his heel and stalked back into the Hospital Wing.  
  
For a long time after that, Severus simply sat out in the hallway, trying to assimilate this new information with what he already knew.  
  
* * * * *  
  
/I wish I knew what to do/. It was Friday, and Sass was back in school, with a strict admonishment from Madam Pomfrey not to exert herself. She remembered the only thing she'd made out of Remus and Snape's conversation outside the hospital wing- "I will die before I let you near her." Remus hadn't been talking to her, he had no reason to lie- had he really meant what he said? If he had- if he had, then perhaps, perhaps he was the person she could trust. /Maybe he won't hurt me./ She skulked down the hall, even though she knew no one could see her. This morning she'd gotten up early to practice the Lateus Charm. Regardless of any pledges Remus made, she couldn't afford to be recognized by Snape. So now any glances people threw her way were vague, unrecognizing. She hadn't been called on in class, and no one had asked her where she'd been last week. Sass was feeling the strain in tiredness, though. She knew she shouldn't be doing this- she was still sick- but it was so nice not having anyone hurting her.  
  
After lunch, Sass was forced to drop the charm- it would hardly be inconspicuous for her to collapse again. And besides, she was going to Remus' Defense class next, and he would protect her. /What? I thought I wasn't going to trust him/, she thought. But it was true. Somehow, despite everything, she still couldn't believe that Remus would hurt her. He had all his own failings, but he was somehow so gentle- and there were his final words to her before she left the Hospital Wing this morning- "If you need me, touch your right eye and whisper my name- I will be there, and I /will/ protect you, /nichka/. I will protect you, whatever the cost. I swear to you with the same truth that I swore I would never allow the werewolf to hurt /anyone/. I will hold to this promise as long as I can, and if there is a way to protect you after death, I will find it."  
  
And then he had let her go, after reminding her that she was to come back at night- Madam Pomfrey still wanted her to sleep there. Sass hadn't been sure that she wanted to believe Remus, but it seemed that she did now anyway.  
  
Sass slipped into the classroom quietly, waving at Remus before sitting down in the back corner, where people were least likely to see her. All too soon, the chattering third-years came in. They were quiet for a moment when they saw Sass, but no one said anything. Not even Hermione acknowledged her presence. Sass felt her stomach do a little flip-flop when Harry entered the room- /God, what is my problem? He's a golden boy, and I'm a leper/- but she kept herself in line. She could /never/ trust Harry, he wouldn't even believe in the beginning that he didn't want to hurt her.  
  
Sass focused entirely on the lesson, not wanting to hear the whispers, and see the sideways glances she /knew/ were circling the classroom. Finally it was over- Remus had excused her from History of Magic on the excuse that she was still sick, so she had nowhere she needed to be. Sass decided she might as well go back to her dormitory, to see if she needed to clean things up.  
  
She was walking quietly down the last hall before she got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, when she turned a blind corridor and ran into a tall mass of black robes.  
  
"I'm sorry, I-" Then she saw who she had run into, and gasped.  
  
  
  
You tell me if you think that's  
  
Harry  
  
Oliver Woods  
  
Malfoy  
  
Snape  
  
McGonagall  
  
Ron  
  
Someone else  
  
And. duh duh duh.  
  
  
  
  
  
R E V I E W!!!!!!!!!! It only takes ten seconds! 


	14. Darkness In Hope

OK, first of all, SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad for not updating for so long. The worst thing is, even once I managed to get some time, I got bloody WRITER"S BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooooo sorry for this, what's it been, a month? I will try my very hardest to go back to one chapter/ week, but basketball starts on Monday, and that 's 2 hours/ day, 6 days / week, so as you can see I'm a bit crunched for time. at least I'm not doing indoor soccer (football).  
  
And I'm sorry if this is crap, writer's block makes things difficult, it was only tonight that I managed to start writing ok again, maybe because I finally figured out a little of what I'm going to do in the spring. let me know if there are any blatantly obviously things I should fix. : )  
  
Another thing- yes, you were all right- was it that obvious? She runs into Snapey. um. yeah.  
  
I am thinking about changing the title of this story, but I don't know what to change it to. Sasina (Sass for short) doesn't really fit, especially with the latest part of the story. So if you have a good idea for a new name, let me know in a review, ok? Cool.  
  
Also- Tigress of the Night is starting a story that runs concurrent to this one (aka has Sass in it) called She Who Is Lost, the main character is perdita, introduced in this chapter. If you want to know more about her, go read Tigress' story. Not a M-S, whatever she says.  
  
Has anyone ever noticed that the shortening of Mary-Sue is Martha Stuart's initials? Hint, hint. sorry if anyone out there likes Martha Stuart.  
  
Everyone go read the Mirror of Maybe by Midnight Blue, unless you have a BIG problem w/ Harry/Snape slash, but I must say it's the best one I have ever read, so go read it, ok?  
  
  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 14- Darkness in Hope  
  
She recoiled from Snape as if his robes contained deadly poison, but straightened up as soon as she was away, not wanting to show her fear.  
  
"Miss Celeborn," he said curtly. "Ten points for your clumsiness. Do not repeat this mistake."  
  
"/Damn you/!" she shouted, her walls bursting. "I don't care /how/ many points you take from Gryffindor, don't you get it? They /hate me/! Remember? I'm friends with /you/! Or I /was/! And now you've gone and turned, just like everyone else, and I don't have /anyone/! And you- you hit me- just leave me alone! /Why/ do you hate me so much? I /never did anything/! No one else ever needed a reason, but you're usually so damned /logical/! I didn't /do anything/, /do you understand/? I hate you-" Sass turned and fled, unable to keep the tears from falling anymore. She didn't realize until she got there that she had automatically run to Snape's office. Sass closed her eyes for a moment, then turned away. She would never again be able to confide in him, talk to him, take comfort in his gentle strength. Remus was kind, and he genuinely cared for her, but no one except Sev- Snape now- could ever understand her, because of her past.  
  
Sass slowly walked back to the Gryffindor common room, unable to care what happened to her now. When Jessica tripped her on the stairs, all she did was wait to stop falling, then pick herself up and start up again. The other girl seemed to find this hysterically funny, and repeated herself. Once again, Sass fell down, and stood up. By the third time, she had an audience. But what did it matter, anyway? They were going to laugh at her anyway. She didn't notice the concern in Hermione's eyes, or the shock in Sandra's, at her total change in character.  
  
Finally, she didn't get up. A sudden hush came over the spectators, as they realized the amount of trouble they were going to get in. Someone prodded Sass with their toe. She let out a low moan, but did not move. All of a sudden, the Gryffindor common room was practically deserted.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Hermione looked around, not sure what to do. On one hand, she definitely didn't want to get the blame for this. However, Sass didn't look too good, the third year was fairly certain that she needed to get to the Hospital Wing soon. She was distracted by loud voices out in the hall, one of which she was fairly certain belonged to Ron. Dilemna solved, at least partly, she quickly put her book down and went to see what was wrong.  
  
She found Ron screaming at the transfer third-year, a creepy girl named Perdita. "What do you care anyway?" the naturally blue-haired, red-eyed girl shouted. "It's none of your bloody business who my father is! Or even my mother! You just want to help spread rumors about me, as if there aren't enough already! So just screw off, alright? Leave. Me. Alone." Then the short girl swept past both Ron and Hermione and went through the portrait hole.  
  
Hermione grabbed Ron's arm and started dragging him down the hall. "What are you doing, Hermione?" he said, trying to shake her off.  
  
"Trust me Ron, when that girl finds out who's in the common room, she's gonna be /really/, /really/ pissed. And guess who she's /already/ eager to take something out on?" Ron paled and started moving on his own, but was curious about what was going to make Perdita so mad.  
  
"Who /is/ she going to find in the common room?" he asked.  
  
Hermione briefly explained what Sass had done, and he looked confused. "But that's not like her at all! I mean, usually she just blasts out a little curse and goes on her merry way. What happened to her that she's all of a sudden so- dead?"  
  
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know Ron, I really don't. But why were you arguing with that girl? It's probably dangerous, you know." Which led Ron off into a long discussion of a hint about who the mysterious girl's father was, and they both forgot about the two girls who were even now talking.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sass felt a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her out of the still black pool she had fallen into. She slowly opened her eyes to a pair of red ones, framed by dark blue hair. "What- who- oh, hello Perdita," she said, still not sure what was going on. Then she remembered, and saw the other's confusion as her accustomed mask slipped on.  
  
"Um- Sass? What in the /hell/ did they do to you? I mean-" the former Durmstrang student gestured to Sass' dirty and ripped robes. When Sass gave no reply, the older girl sighed, a moment of hurt showing in her eyes before she continued. "OK, look, I understand if you don't trust me. I'm not going to curse you or anything, I'm just going to take you to the Hospital Wing. Is that alright?"  
  
Sass wanted to explain, but couldn't be bothered to care. So she simply nodded. Perdita lifted her up and started down to the Hospital Wing. Sass was a little surprised at this, as the third year wasn't much taller than she, /but then again/, Sass thought, /I carried Se- Snape all the way to his office the one time/. At some point, She must have fallen asleep, because her next memories were confused and anxious, pictures of murder, darkness, and all through it, a dark figure with glowing red eyes. /She is lost./ a voice echoed through Sass' mind. /You must find your way with her. for you are similar in more ways than you think. do you not see/? Suddenly she saw flashes of someone else, an old woman, drinking something red- /oh god, that's blood./ Sass thought. And then suddenly, it all disappeared.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The next time Sass awoke, she was lying in the Hospital Wing. She slowly rolled over and found herself staring into Perdita's dark red eyes. "Er, hello," she said nervously. /How do you thank someone for something you aren't sure you wanted them to do? God, I'm not a people person./  
  
"Hello," the older girl said uncertainly. "Um, Madam Pomfrey wanted me to tell you that fortunately, nothing was broken. You're going to be in here overnight, though, because the bruising is pretty bad. I- I told her you had an accident on the stairs- which is true enough- don't worry, she's not in here now," Perdita added as Sass started to protest the indiscretion. "But I want to know the /truth/. What happened to you? You owe me some sort of explanation; call it favor for favor if you will. So fess up."  
  
Sass stared into those red eyes for a long moment, then threw caution to the winds. After all, hadn't she just proved that she didn't care what the other Gryffindors did to her?  
  
"I guess it started when I was born," Sass said, "but it's a long story, so be patient. About fifteen years ago on Halloween, Vold- You-Know-Who attacked a hospital in London." She noticed that the other girl didn't even bat an eye at the use of Voldemort's name. /Is every person who says his name at Hogwarts/? she wondered. "He killed everyone then used the death-energy to cast a spell cursing every baby delivered in that hospital on October 31, between sunset and midnight, to be orphaned within six months. I was delivered in that room three years later at eleven fifty-two PM. Naturally, my parents died shortly, and I was put in an orphanage." She noticed Perdita's eyebrows fly up at that. "What?"  
  
"I'm an orphan too," the third year said quietly. "I'm really sorry about your parents."  
  
Sass inclined her head as she sat up. "As I am for yours. Anyway, I had a bad time of it at the orphanage- my 'guardian' was a sadistic bastard who I sincerely hope gets what he gave to me." Sass sighed. "Not that I should feel that way. In any case, one of my teachers there was a man named Samuel Snapel. He actually thought of me as a person, and not another trophy on his wall. But he had to leave, and so life sucked. Then I got adopted last summer, got my letter, and came here. Turns out, Samuel Snapel is none other then our resident Potions Master, Severus Snape. We were good friends," and here Sass had to swallow hard before continuing, "but he hates me now. God- I don't know why! I never did anything to him, and I know life's not fair, but couldn't I have a break just this once? So I don't care what Jessica does to me. If she tries to kill me on the stairs, well, I bet not many people would notice. Dumbledore certainly wouldn't mind. And neither- would- Snape-" Saying his last name aloud seemed to finalize something for Sass. Before, she had been able to pretend- to hope that he would come around and tell her what was going on, and life would return to its proper order. But now she had admitted it- something had changed, and there was no going back to before.  
  
Perdita turned away, allowing Sass a moment to control her tears and voice. "I- um- well, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't think there was anyone else in the school who was as bad off as me, but I guess you qualify." This elicited a wry grin from Sass. "Hey- I think this is the part where we become friends- the ex-Snape-friend and the parentless transfer-from- Durmstrang- a match made in heaven, wouldn't you say? But I-" Perdita quieted as Madam Pomfrey reentered the room.  
  
"Shoo! Out! This young lady needs rest- you can chat another time. Now go! You should be eating, or studying, or something!" As Perdita exited, Madam Pomfrey turned to Sass. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Horrible," said Sass, thinking of the orphanage and Snape and Jessica. "How should I feel?"  
  
"Well, I'd say 'abysmal' is what I was thinking of, but it sounds like your right on track. Now, Miss Ridno was supposed to tell you that you'll be staying overnight, not that it matters as you're still recovering from your pneumonia- dear me, you do seem to get into trouble. Would you like something to eat? Or have you already had dinner?"  
  
Sass thought of her stomach and practically heaved right there. "Er- no thanks, I'm fine," she said. Could you summon my book bag so I can do my homework?"  
  
Madam Pomfrey smiled. "Certainly. /Accio bookbag/!" After a few seconds, the desired object whooshed into the room and stopped in Madam Pomfrey's hand. "Here," she said, lying it down on Sass' nightstand, "just be careful not to overstress yourself. Call me if you need anything." Then she turned and walked back into her office. Sass got to work on her Transfiguration.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sirius was getting very worried. Yes, Sass had left him a note in early December, saying she was sick and would be out for a while, but it had been nearly three weeks since then, with no further contact. /I don't know all that much about her/, he admitted reluctantly, /but from what I've seen, she would /never/ let an illness keep her in bed that long, unless she was in major trouble. But there's no way I could sneak into the castle right now- everyone's on the alert for anything suspicious, because the end of the semester is close, and I 'might try something.' God- I hope nothing's happened to her. / He paced up and down in his small cave. /What if she needs me, and I'm not there? I've got to make sure she's okay. But how'll I get in? /  
  
Sirius stopped and sat down, stood up, and started pacing again. /If I go through the tunnel at night, then wait until classes are in session to find her, then maybe./ Abruptly, he transformed into a shaggy black dog and trotted down to Hogsmeade, the nearby wizarding town that just happened to contain the exit to a certain tunnel where he and Sass usually met. /I've just got to go and risk it. The odds have been worse before, and I've come out okay- except for when they captured me- I ended up with twelve years in Azkaban, no trial, no escape. God, this is not the time to be thinking of that./  
  
Sirius already knew how to get into the Honeydukes Candy Shop, which housed the secret tunnel. The owners had a dog themselves, and, accordingly, there was a small door-flap around back. It was a tight squeeze, even as skinny as he was, but as always, Sirius made it without problems. He crept down to the basement, nosed open a trap door, and set off towards Hogwarts. It was a long ways, and the black dog was tired when he reached the stone chute that led up into the castle. Sirius flopped down and slept soundly until morning.  
  
* * * * *  
  
/I wish I could find a Gryffindor causing trouble/, Severus thought. /Then I'd have someone to take this out on/. Then he shook his head. /No, that's what started the whole problem. I don't know what to think anymore- Lupin's about ready to bite my head off, but those bloody prats I overheard in the hall seem /far/ too pleased. An exceedingly cynical werewolf believes her, and she was certainly genuine the other day when she screamed at me. Could I have been wrong? What if the signs in the Hospital Wing were just because she was muddled, from the pneumonia- has she really been climbing the school every night? Did I have that much importance to her? And if I was wrong- what have I done?/ He bowed his head, glad no one was there to see his sorrow.  
  
/I'll talk to her again on Thursday/, he decided. /And this time, I'll hear her out. No assumptions, no harsh words, I'll just listen. Can she forgive me though, even if I apologize? What I did- God, did I want to hurt her in the worst way possible? Kincaid hit her, I hit her, that puts me in the same category as him./  
  
Severus was forced to turn his mind to other things as he reached a stone gargoyle that jumped aside when he said, "Rasberry chews." /Damned if I know why Albus keeps coming up with these ridiculous candy passwords/, he thought. /Of course, it is the last thing a dark wizard would think of to gain entrance./ The gargoyle jumped aside and bowed him through the entrance behind it. Severus sighed and scaled the steps to the Headmaster's office.  
  
When he reached the upper landing, a wooden door swung open, revealing a smiling and far-too-cheerful Albus Dumbledore.  
  
"Well?" Severus said, knowing the older man didn't mistake his sharp tone for real dislike. "What's important enough to call me away from my lunch?" He winced mentally as he realized he'd given Albus the perfect opening for his favorite game: evasion.  
  
Albus smiled even more broadly, as if he knew what Severus was thinking. "Actually, your appetite need not wait. I ordered lunch for two, so if you would care to join me," he gestured to a table at the far end of the room, "we can eat now." Severus sighed and sat down, realizing that Albus would tell him what was going on when he felt like it and not a moment sooner. After the requisite fifteen minutes of drinking tea and choking on pleasantries, Severus finally brought the older man around to the point.  
  
"Now, Albus, I know you didn't bring me up here to discuss Leah's latest acquisitions," he said when Albus went off on yet another side trip about some Pangora bushes the Herbology teacher had found. "What's the point?"  
  
The Headmaster sighed. "Very well, Severus. I wanted to talk to you about vampires."  
  
This was certainly not what the Potions Master had been expecting to hear. "What about them?" he said. "Has there been a problem with the treaty?" The International Vampiric Code, signed in 1982, put very strict limits on where, when, and how vampires could take prey. The ideal would be, of course, to not allow any bloodsucking of humans, but it was almost impossible to break the addiction once a vampire had taken its first victim. So far the Ministry'd had very little trouble enforcing it, but with vampires, you never knew what would happen next.  
  
"No, not as such," Albus said. "A group of Muggles in America have found out about their existence. The vampires, of course, want to suck them all dry- that or change them." That referred to when a vampire turned a human into another vampire. "And I guess the American Ministry has allowed that once or twice before on a smaller scale, not technically of course. But now we're talking about oh, say, fifty people, and most of them are people who would be missed. You know why we can't just alter their memories-"  
  
Severus grimaced. "No memory of a vampire can be erased from an adult's mind- it's too much of a shock to see a creature of the night. So what can I do about it?"  
  
"After Christmas I want you to go over there, as the official British Representative, and look into it. Help if you can, but mostly I want to get straight information about what's going on. It's not like the vampires to be so careless as to let a human see them undisguised," said Albus. "Is that alright with you?" Severus nodded, and the Headmaster smiled. "Thank you, Severus," he said. "If I find anything else out between now and then, I'll let you know. If you're finished eating.?" Severus nodded his assent, and Albus whisked away the remains of their lunch. The two men stood up.  
  
"Thank you for lunch," Severus said. "I'll start getting my things in order. You'll want me back by the start of the term, correct?" Albus nodded.  
  
"Unless something pressing comes up that requires more time. Well, so long Severus, as always it was a pleasure to see you." The Headmaster shooed him out the door, and the next thing the Potions Master knew, he was back in the hallway outside the gargoyle.  
  
"I hate it when he does that," Severus muttered as he swept down the hall to prepare for his next class.  
  
He didn't notice the black shadow that crept out after him, shaking with relief.  
  
* * * * *  
  
When Sirius had made his plans to infiltrate Hogwarts, he hadn't planned on the idea that in the twenty-some years since he'd been there the schedules might have changed. Or maybe his trip was just cursed. He figured he would slip in right after lunch ended, since he knew Sass had an open period in the afternoon on Tuesdays. But as he neared the Great Hall, Sirius knew he'd been wrong. /Oh shit/- he thought as a rumble and a bell indicated that the next class started in five minutes. Fortunately, no one noticed the black dog hiding behind a suit of armor, and he was able to let the main rush past.  
  
The first place Sirius wanted to check was the Gryffindor common room. But what if she wasn't there? If Sass were sick, she would probably be in the Hospital Wing, right? He was so preoccupied that he barely had time to duck into the shadows before Snape caught up with him. Sirius had always been a little afraid of the man, ever since that damned joke he'd played in the sixth year. When he emerged, Sirius was shaking. And then he heard the other footsteps, practically on top of him, and the female voice that said, "Who keeps a /dog/ as a pet?"  
  
  
  
How's that as a cliffie? Ok, reviews.  
  
Tinne- yep. Well, that's what happened.  
  
Diety- yep. NO LOVE POTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol. sorry, no, you're not a loser, you review my story and like sass!!!! So you rock!!!!! PS I'm very sorry I said I'd get this out sooner and didn't. ::winces:: sorry.  
  
friend from ash.- who in the monkey are you?!?!?!?! Will you PLEASE email me and say who you are? Please? I'm glad you liked, yeah, I know it was depressing, but I think I'm getting to the point where it will soon become less so. I'm also gonna get to the part where there's some more action. :D  
  
Tigress of the Night- DUH I know who you are.I'm glad your comma key works now. Made you cry? I see. hmm.  
  
harrypottermagic32- you were right, here it is.  
  
friend from ash- here it is! Here it is! Lol.  
  
Tigress- Breathe. Deeply. Count to ten. Slowly. Then do it again. And again. Now go take a sedative.and I knew you weren't friend from ash, but I do wish I knew who they were.  
  
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!!!!!!!! ITS BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS THAT I WORKED THROUGH MY WRITERS BLOCK AND GOT THIS DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IF YOU AREN"T REVIEWING, PLEASE DO SO NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Later. 


	15. The Strength Within

Well, those of you who like the martial arts aspect of Sass should enjoy this chapter, although there are also a bunch of other things in it.  
  
Good news! I basically have the weekend off, and so MAY even get ANOTHER chapter up this weekend! How's that for cool? Now, don't expect anything like this in the future, as bball is starting and practices are sometimes on Saturdays too which makes it hard to find time to write, but I swear I'll do my best.  
  
Well, I'm not sure about this chapter, the only part that I really like is the martial arts sequence towards the end. But tell me what you think.  
  
And please go read She Who Is Lost by Tigress of the Night. She's getting very pissed as no one will review her story and I REALLY don't want her pissed. You wouldn't want me dead, now would you?  
  
I'm still looking for ideas for a title change, if anyone has any. plot ideas are welcome too, although I can't promise I'll use them. now on with the fic!  
  
  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 14- The Strength Within  
  
Sirius turned slowly, and watched through color-blind eyes as the girl gasped in shock, her red eyes dilating in fear. /Wait, red eyes? /Voldemort/ had- shit!/ The girl stumbled backwards, staring at him.  
  
"You- that's not your natural form- /who are you/?" Sirius stared back. /How in the hell can she tell I'm an Animagus? And red eyes- is she Him come back somehow, like he did with Quirrel? Oh God, I have to protect Harry!/ He pounced onto the girl, transforming back and pinning her before she knew what had happened. "Listen, I don't want to hurt you. Now, just hang on a sec." He drew his stolen wand, pointing it at the girl. "/Extramalo/!" Then he waited, as the girl stared at him blankly, to see if there was a spirit inside her other than her own. Voldemort was far too powerful for him to actually get rid of, but the spell would tell him what was there. Just as he had decided with relief that she was in control of her own body, something in the girl's mind clicked.  
  
"You're Sirius Black!" she whispered vehemently. "You /bastard/!" Sirius almost let her go, he was so surprised. Her hatred sounded personal, as though one of the people 'he' had killed was her mother. /Please let it not be so. /  
  
"Why?" he said, confused.  
  
"You had /everything/, /everything/! Yet you /still/ didn't have enough. You had to go over to /him/ anyway- there are those of us who would have given /anything/ to be you. We are /expected/ to go over, the moment we get a chance, throwing away Dumbledore's 'kind, caring, efforts' to 'save' us. As if he believes anything different than the rest of them. Just leave me alone." He lip curled in disgust at Sirius, and he was stunned for a moment at the bitterness coming from such a young mouth. /Just like Sass the one time I got her to tell me her past- what a shame to have a cold, uncaring guardian for so long!/ Which reminded him why he was here.  
  
"So you won't believe me, but I didn't go over to Voldemort, I haven't killed anyone, and I most certainly didn't have everything in school. That's not important." /Seeing as I'll be erasing your memories of this just as soon as I can./ "I need you to take me to the Hospital Wing." /Shit, have I really forgotten where it is? And I didn't think of that before I came? Lord of mercy. Oh well, I think it'll work out okay./ (a/n, oh dear, Siri's getting forgetful. oh wait, that's normal, isn't it?)  
  
The girl looked at him suspiciously, no surprise there. "Why?" she said, obviously not wanting to say a single word to him more than necessary. Sirius considered his options. /I can't tell her about Sass, any memory charm can be broken through, and I don't want anyone knowing we're in contact. Maybe I can scare her. But I always feel so unclean after. well, I don't think I have much of a choice/. He slammed the small girl up against the wall hard enough to knock the breath out of her, although taking care not to hit her head.  
  
"Listen, redeyes," he said deliberately, knowing she was probably teased, if not shunned, because of them, and saw he had a hit by the hurt that registered on her face momentarily. "It's none of your /damn/ business what I want in there. Just take me, and that way no one will get hurt, okay? Go," Sirius snarled, keeping his wand trained on the girl as he dropped her to the floor and waited for the severely shaken student to get up. "Now, which way to the Hospital Wing?" Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when the girl stood up and started walking with nothing more than a few more venomous glances. He didn't let her see how much hatred still affected him. /God, I wish I had never heard the name Voldemort. or Peter Pettigrew, for that matter/. He followed the girl down two staircases, then through enough corridors to leave him thoroughly lost. /I'm going to have to get directions from Sass back to the tunnel, he thought wryly. That or get this girl to show me where Gryffindor Tower is. I know I can find my way from there/. Finally they came to a passage he recognized. Sirius nodded curtly.  
  
/Shit/, he thought suddenly, /I'm going to keep her here. But she can't hear me talking to Sass./ He sighed, and muttered, "/Stupefy/," at the girl, causing her to slump over. He caught the small body with ease, then slung the girl over his shoulder and entered the Hospital Wing.  
  
He noticed with relief that Madam Pomfrey did not appear to be in, and so placed his burden on one of the beds. /I had better not forget to modify her memory before I leave/, Sirius thought, then walked further into the room, looking for filled beds. There were none. /Oh God, where is she/? Sirius thought frantically. /I was so sure she would be here- what's going on? Is she so ill she's being kept somewhere else? What if she's dead? What if-/  
  
He realized he was panicking and forced himself to stop, taking a deep breath to slow down his thoughts. /Okay. So maybe she's recovered enough to go to her classes. In which case, maybe this girl would know- / "/Ennervate/," he said, pointing his wand at the prone form. The girl sat up, taking a moment to realize what had happened. Sirius sat down on another bed. "Okay," he said. "The person I'm looking for isn't here. What's your name?"  
  
"Perdita," the girl said rebelliously, obviously thinking he was going to be one of those people that tried to convince you that they really were on your side. /Which I am not and am, respectively/, he thought. (a/n, see if you can figure that one out!)  
  
"Okay. What year are you in?"  
  
"Third."  
  
"House?"  
  
"Gryffindor. Damned Hat was afraid of me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Fine. Do you know a girl named Sass?"  
  
"Why?" The girl suddenly looked at him warily.  
  
"Where do you think she would be right now?"  
  
"/Why do you want to know/?" /Is this girl a friend of Sass'? Interesting./  
  
"It's of no concern to you. /Where is she/?"  
  
Perdita stood up slowly, glaring at Sirius as if to kill him. "She doesn't have a class right now. She's probably in the library, doing homework, that or. well, I bet she's in there." Sirius nodded curtly.  
  
"Take me there."  
  
"Fine. Here." She stalked out of the room, leading him even further into the labyrinth that was Hogwarts. They came to the library and she poked her head in. "Sass?" The third year looked back at Sirius, said, "She's in there," and walked into the dusty room.  
  
Sirius heard her say, "Hello, Madam Pince," and realized the librarian might be difficult to deal with. /Damn it, why can't I ever manage to think anything through?/ he thought, then reached his wand around the doorframe and Stunned the woman who replied. He walked into the library, praying to God no one else was in there. Fortunately, the place was deserted, except for Sass, who was sitting in a corner, laughing wryly.  
  
"What's so funny?" he said, plopping down beside her at the table, which was covered two deep open books. Sass sighed.  
  
"Perdita's a friend of mine. Perdi, he's innocent, he never went over to Voldemort. Sirius, I think we should just let her know and leave it at that. The girl isn't going to turn you in. Now, I'll take care of Madam Pince. Why don't you go back to the corridor and explain things, I've been missing school and I have a lot of homework." Sirius protested feebly.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'll seeya in the passage on Thursday? I'm leaving on the Express on Friday, Christmas holidays and all. That okay?" Sirius nodded, no little bit dazed, and Sass smiled, managing to summon up the dregs of life to put in her eyes for one of the people who cared for her. "Good. Until Thursday, then." She looked back down to her homework and was lost to the world. Sirius turned back to Perdita, wondering where to start. "Can you take me to the third floor, left hand corridor? There's a statue of a one-eyed old woman." And they left.  
  
* * * * *  
  
When she could no longer hear Perdi and Sirius' footsteps, Sass sighed, allowing herself to slump down onto the table. /I'm so tired/. She still couldn't be bothered to worry about the others' petty tricks, but they seemed to be afraid of her. /No surprise there. they really did get pretty close to killing me. If my pain tolerance was a little higher- if I'd taken a few more falls- well, I really can't blame them. Most people would've acted hurt and passed out far sooner, and not taken such a beating./ She stood up reluctantly, and Revived Madam Pince. /Good thing I've been studying second and third year Charms as well/. Before the librarian managed to get out more than a "What-" she had cast a Forgetfulness Charm as well.  
  
"Madam Pince?" she said quietly in her usual manner. "Can you help me find a book? It's called ^Magical Tricks That Could Save Your Life^, I need it for a essay about defending yourself with charms that Professor Flitwick assigned." /That's really all it is to Madam Pince/, Sass thought. /She just needs to know what you want, and why. Then be quiet. People like her are so easy to understand- you just have to know what motivates them/. After she had been given the requested book, Sass withdrew to her usual table in the corner, where she could hear and see most of what went on in the room, despite things like bookshelves. /I wonder if someone designed this place so they could sit here and watch everything. It's amazing how many people have 'private' conversations here- as if they don't know that libraries echo. More the fools, they./ She looked down at the Charms essay. She was about an inch short, but that was good, as she hadn't written her conclusion yet. Sass looked up several of the 'tricks,' wrote them in, summarized her work, and cast an ink-drying charm on the parchment. /That was the very first spell he taught us/, Sass remembered. /Said we would use it more in our lives than all the other spells put together. I guess maybe he was trying to make a point- it's the small things we most depend on to keep our world in order, the small things we never think about and always take for granted/. She refused to let that train of thought lead her to Snape. /Time for my twice-or-thrice-daily workout./  
  
Sass stood up, putting all her books away and packing up her spare parchment. She nodded goodbye to Madam Pince, who snorted in reply. /If only the whole world made as much sense./ Sass put her stuff in the Hospital Wing then made her way to the Quidditch field through the snow, leaving small dark footprints in the glittering whiteness. /Funny how few people seem to know there're a bunch of workout rooms beneath the stands/, she thought. /Oh well, I guess no one really uses them. Unless maybe the older Defense classes do. Whatever. The important thing is that no one will bother me. /  
  
She stepped through the door and took of her cloak, robes, and boots, leaving them in the places for such things. The fire flared up instantly, as it was designed to in such cold weather. She sighed as the warmth hit her shorts-and-T-shirt clad body. Sass considered the various doors leading from the entryway. Someone had designed this room with great care. /Muggle weights, sports arena, combat library, salle for traditional weapons and hand-to-hand/. Sass breathed in deeply, relishing the comforting scent of leather and sweat. /I think I'll practice some sword- dances today, she thought. I feel like having a weapon in my hand/.  
  
Sass moved towards the door on her right, opening the tarnished and worn brass handle. She eyed the racks of weapons on the shelves. /Somehow I don't think anyone could get in here if they weren't responsible enough to know these are real weapons/. She moved over to them, running her hand along them. Swords, daggers, staffs, maces, bolas, bows, incredible variety and familiar feel. She looked also at the throwing daggers, darts, dirks, and other weapons that she had not worked with. After a moment of consideration, she picked up twin rapiers, smooth and polished in their slender, deadly beauty. After bowing to the east, she stood for a moment, feet together, swords crossed in front of her face. /You must never wield a weapon in any state of mind except for completely centered. If you do, your emotions will destroy you/. Words of famous masters flitted through her brain, and Sass forced herself to be empty, a perfect stillness, purely physical, suspended, almost ready. In motion.  
  
The moment she felt her mind and body unite, Sass slid smoothly into the first motions of her sword-dance. The poses were fragile, rhythmic, each crystallizing perfectly in her mind then changing, quick as breath. Sass felt her muscles relax. Parry, twist, bend, repart. The movements came to her easily, as they always had. /This/ was right, no emotions, no conflict, simply breathing and moving, one as simple as the other. The pattern increased its tempo, and Sass felt her muscles begin to tire, her scars stretching on her skin, bruises protesting at her motion. No matter. Everything would adjust in a moment, and the dance allowed for this human imperfection. As her body went into the peculiar combination of tension and calm that went with swordfighting, Sass moved into the main body of the dance. Now she had to work, straining for perfection, keeping her mind clear, no baggage, no baggage- /you must know who you are to defeat another in the sword ring./  
  
As she spun, slashed, and parried her invisible but tangible opponent, she combined the advanced kicks and rolls that, to any master, would show her to be a dedicated student of hand to hand as well, rarer and rarer in these days of tightly-controlled combat competitions. They didn't want anyone to get hurt. Sass slid smoothly from the end of that dance into another, realizing that today, everything was even better than normal. /Click/. She abandoned herself completely to the swords, letting herself be expressed in the twin flashes of steel. When the moment seemed right, she released her swords and took another weapon from the shelves, not choosing consciously, simply knowing what was right.  
  
She was tiring now, her breath coming heavily, not panting yet, but close. Her muscles were fatiguing, and soon, yes. They cramped, and Sass was forced to slow for a moment, her every instinct rebelling against stopping this perfection that had reflected to her just now, never again. Eventually, the fatigue gave up, and she was left free to move, to choose and to fight, in control of herself and her body, every moment a clear drop of water to her parched soul. This was life, and she had no intention of dying anytime soon. The weapons switched once more, and she grinned ferally, not knowing why, really, and yet at the same time it was so clear- /Nothing can stop me/. Finally, Sass felt her exhaustion, not simple pain, but overwhelming, soul-deep exhaustion. /I have to stop before I pass out/. She slowed, moving, still flawlessly, into a closing sequence, realizing she no longer had a weapon her hands. All the better. Sass continued to slow, gradually coming back into her body, stretching, cooling overworked muscles. She bent and twisted, flowing now, liquid as silk, feeling the cool air slide over her sweat-covered body. A strange dizzy feeling was coming to her, and Sass realized she was going to pass out soon. /Just hold on a moment, I must finish what I have begun./ Maybe her body heard her, and maybe it was sheer stubbornness, but Sass finished, standing in the exact same place where she had started, hands crossed over her chest. Sass took a deep breath and opened her eyes. /I really did it. I finished The Dance. Oh wow./ A wave of blackness came over her, and Sass realized it was dark out. /Maybe some water./ She walked tipsily over to the wall, where a faucet allowed her to regain some of the moisture she had sweated off. Sass thought for a moment. /I- don't think- I can make it- back to the school. Maybe I had better- stay here/. She knew the place had the bed, and decision made, she headed for it. Slowly. /I doubt I would be able to walk after a night on the floor. No matter how well I stretched, I'm /really/ gonna feel this in the morning. Ah, but it was so /good/ to work like that./ She reached the bedroom of the complex and slowly pulled down the covers on the bed, taking just enough time to strip off her sopping, sweaty clothes. /Better to sleep with nothing on than that. I'd probably freeze/. Sass lay down in the bed, taking exaggerated care not to jolt herself. /Sleep./  
  
* * * * *  
  
When Severus Snape left the Teachers' Training Room at eleven o'clock P.M., he was one amazed and impressed man. /What she did in there- it was amazing/, he thought. /I used to see her train sometimes, knew she was good- but that was beautiful. Simply beautiful. She has so much talent, she should really enroll in a class, something. She needs someone to teach her, show her all she can be- perhaps I could find someone down at Hogsmeade who can do that. I'd have to enroll her in a regular lesson first, so she doesn't come across as spoiled or snotty, but any master who saw her- they would know that she needs something else/. Severus shook his head suddenly, called out of his fantasy. /She hates me now, remember? Whether it was before or after I hit her isn't important- God, she will never forgive me. But maybe- could I give her an anonymous Christmas present? Maybe it would make up for some of what I've done. yes. I'll do that/. He strode through the halls, seeking nothing more than his office, quiet and dark. /God, but I miss her. Sass, Sass, you were my little one, the bright light in all the pointless, stupid bodies that inhabit this school/. He reached his dungeons and entered them, not comforted at all by the soft lighting that usually soothed him from the raw emotions of the students that invaded his mind every day. /Why did I have to screw it up? We understood each other, the fears and hopes, pain and losses. then I became a fear, a giver of pain, our friendship lost. How could I have believed those others over her? I'm too damned suspicious./  
  
/But hasn't that suspicion kept you alive, protected you from those who would have destroyed your very soul? Is it not what /will/ keep you alive if- when- Voldemort rises again, and you are forced once again to become a spy? You /need/ it, and the girl must simply learn to live with that./  
  
/No!/ he cried inside his head. /Not to her, never to Sass, she's my /daughter/, can't you understand that? I can't live without her, she means far too much to me. No matter what the cost, be it death, pain, humiliation, even if it means that He will find out, I have to trust her./  
  
The voice smiled, and Severus realized it may not have been who he at first thought it to be. /So you trust her, Severus Snape. Good. Do not forget it. When you argue, scream, which will happen, rest assured, you /must/ remember this. You trust Sasina Celeborn-Lantuan, and always will. Good luck on Thursday, and here's a hint: apologize first, then explain. And be patient. She has been hurt far more deeply than you know/. And with that, the voice vanished, leaving Severus alone to waste parchment late into the night trying to find the words for his apology.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Madam Pomfrey checked the clock on her wall. Sass was late, and at first she hadn't been worried. The girl had probably gotten started on something in the library and didn't want to lose her train of thought. But as ten o'clock came and went, she started to fret. Now it was approaching eleven, and there was still no sign of the girl. /Where is she? If she's forgotten, I'm going to tan her hide when I find her. but what if she hasn't?/ Images of the black-haired girl unconscious in a hallway, or passed out in the snow outside came to mind unbidden, and Poppy started to pace. /Should I call the headmaster? Or Remus? Yes, I'll call him. He probably knows where she is, and if he doesn't, I'm sure he'll know where to find her/. The nurse bustled into her office and cast a handful of glittering silver powder into the fireplace. "Remus Lupin," she said, and was rewarded by the man stumbling out of the fire a few seconds later. "Hello, Remus," she said, handing him a brush to dust off with. "Miss Celeborn hasn't reported yet for the night, and I was wondering if you knew where she was."  
  
Remus frowned. "No, I haven't seen her since before lunch, she was in one of my classes. Why do you suppose she would stay away, Poppy?"  
  
She shook her head. "I don't know Remus, I was hoping you'd have the answer. Do you have any idea where she might be?"  
  
Remus frowned, thinking for a moment.  
  
"Well, my first thought is the library, catching up on her homework, although it would surprise me if she hasn't already done that," he said. "Otherwise." /Snape/, he thought. Visions of Sass lying in some deserted corridor, sobbing in her silent way, came to mind, scaring him more than he thought possible. He realized that Poppy was looking at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. "Otherwise, I'd guess she might be in some classroom, going through some of her exercises. I wouldn't worry, I'm sure she'll turn up." But he had other thoughts. /If we can't find Sass in the library, I'm headed straight for Snape's office. And if he's hurt her again. There'll be hell to pay./  
  
  
  
Sorry 'bout the ending, but this one's *surreptitiously reaches for word counter* wow. Almost 4000 words, and I had to cut it off SOMEWHERE!!!!!! Ok, now thanks a mill to everyone who reviewed, I swear, the five or so of you who do just make this story happen.  
  
  
  
Diety- thanks! Well, I'm thinking I may actually be able to get 2 chaps up this weekend, is that cool or what!!!!!!! ? (sorry, I temporarily forgot that ? go at end of questions.) thanks for the review, hope you enjoy this!  
  
Tigress of the Night- we discussed this, but um, well, TOASTED ROLL WITH CHEESE?????? WHAT???? WHAT TIME WAS IT WHEN YOU REVIEWED? HMM????????? Ok, well, I'll seeya on Tuesday, I hope you like this.  
  
friend from Ash.- from now on friend will be capitalized in my responses as I am too lazy to fix my computers dumb autoformatting any more. Thanks! I really appreciate your support (although I still wish u'd tell me who u are..) later!  
  
Pseudie-Lee- Hey! Yeah, they have been talking about you (ok, when HAVENT they been?) yes, wasn't our review luvverly? And yeah, I may have mentioned liking reviews. I'm glad you *almost* like it. And the Marauders aren't BAD in my story, they're just. well. yeah- and she's even friends w/ Remmie and Siri! And Snape's being a poohead right now (although I regret to inform you that this will be coming to an end in the next couple of months, and he will revert to being nice). Personally, I have NO IDEA what language nichka is in, if you find out, tell me, K? And despite the fact that most of my invented spells have been takeoffs of Spanish, this isn't at least I don't think so. And YES!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS BASED ON MERCEDES LACKEYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE SERRated Edge!!!!!!!!! I ABSOLUTELY have plans for that later on in the story, and THANK YOU for noticing! That makes me so happy! I also have other plans that could be for my particular brand of elves. *cough, crossover, cough* well, not really, but they will not be original elves and they will not be harry-potter style, even if JKR bothers to invent some (Cajun style, yummy,). As for your return, I have usually heard of it as some kind of -a-go-go-land, but that works too. And I AM worried about them, but there is no need to on *that* particular count. Yes, you are usually referred to as Knick-Knock, and theoretically I was your 'replacement' until they found out you were coming back. and the fact that I like slash. and snapey. and really I'd guess a lot of other things but I think they mostly just missed you so I am left now without an identity. Okay, jk, I'm excited to meed you and thanks for reviewing!!!!!  
  
PS to everyone who wondered why P-L got such a long response: ITS BECAUSE SHE LEFT SUCH A LONG REVIEW!!!!!!!!! HINT HINT!!!!!!!!!! Ok, sorry. Just review, k?  
  
PPS, the name of this chapter refers to Sass, and the strength she gets from her ability with fighting and dancing. This is eventually going to play a major role in the story, as I dump more and more mountains on her. 


	16. Taunting and Tests

This chapter is dedicated to Diety, for reviewing the last chapter within five minutes of me posting it. yay!  
  
Telepathy (thoughtspeech) is in :.:, yes, this is the same way Mercedes Lackey writes it, except hers is in italics too (which mine IS until I upload it. grumble grumble.)  
  
Animorphs quote in here, cookie (flavor of choice) to anyone who sees it!  
  
Well, this chapter is definitely a break from the angst, so you'll have to wait a bit for your mountains.  
  
Still looking for ideas for a title change. do you guys actually LIKE the title, or are you just to lazy to think of ideas? Plz tell me if its one or the other.  
  
I had a really hard time writing from the manticore's POV, so tell me honestly if it sucked. I don't mind flames, really, although the more creative the better.  
  
AND I HAVE REACHED 50000 WORDS!!!!!! THANKS YOU GUYS FOR REVIEWING, IT'S REALLY WHAT KEPT ME GOING ONCE SCHOOL STARTED!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 16- Taunting and Tests  
  
He followed the nurse out into the hall, following her up to the library on the third floor. "Do you really think she just forgot?" Poppy said, breaking the silence.  
  
"I don't know," Remus replied. "I'd guess she was reading and either lost track of time or got started on something and didn't want to lose her train of thought."  
  
"I suppose you're right," Poppy said as they entered the room. "Shea?"  
  
The librarian looked up from her work, frowning slightly at the intrusion. "What is it?"  
  
"I was wondering if Miss Celeborn was in here. She was supposed to report to me at ten-thirty, but we haven't seen her. Remus thought she might be in here."  
  
"Miss Celeborn?" Shea Pince said, surprised. "She left hours ago, shortly after lunch, if I remember correctly." Remus frowned. /Shit, if she's been alone with her thoughts for almost twelve hours. I am going to /kill/ Snape if he had anything to do with it./ "Well, thank you anyway," he said, turning to go.  
  
"Wait a minute," Shea said, surprising him by wearing a slightly dazed, frustrated expression. He was taken aback at the sharp contrast from the controlling, strict, expression she had worn as a librarian even when he was a student. "There's something else that happened to do with her. but I can't /remember/ it! This is the most exasperating. Well," she said, suddenly seeming to realize that Remus and Poppy were both still in the room, gaping at her, "I'll let you know if I remember what it was. Good evening." And with that, the irritable librarian disappeared, as was her habit, into the dusty shelves that were the Hogwarts library.  
  
Remus and Poppy departed in silence. When they were out of earshot, he shook his head and said fervently, "Now /that/ was the weirdest thing I have ever seen."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Severus was still sitting at his desk when the interruption came, no closer to finding his apology than he had been an hour and a half ago. He'd /expected/ to be struggle for the rest of the night. He'd /expected/ to be left alone during aforementioned night. He was wrong on both counts.  
  
"What did you /do/ to her?" were the words that broke into his self- inflicted depression, delivered by one very angry Remus Lupin.  
  
Severus' first instinct was to jump, but he quickly quelled it and instead turned around slowly, drawling, "Do to /whom/, Lupin? And next time you enter my office, please leave the door intact." He smiled inwardly as Lupin flushed. No matter what state people came to him in, he had always been a master at making them embarrassed, angry, or terrified, whatever suited his purposes. But he had to give the werewolf credit- he collected himself far sooner than many others would have, under the unforgiving gaze of the Potions Master.  
  
"Sass, of course. Who else do you torture for /absolutely no reason/? She hasn't been seen since noon, and was supposed to report to Poppy two hours ago. /What/ did you /do/?"  
  
Severus would have been worried, if he didn't know where his daug- what? Sass was. So he sighed, a calculatedly drawn out expression of disgust. "/I/, my dear Lupin, have not done anything. Sass is currently sleeping off the effects of a very strenuous workout in the Teachers' Training Room, which she visits quite often, I have reason to believe."  
  
Remus glared at him suspiciously a moment before answering. "And how, exactly, do you know this?"  
  
Severus smiled lazily, not commenting on the fact that Remus, despite his animosity, had accepted the facts of the Slytherin's story immediately. Score one for the un-trusted spy. "I, too, work out regularly, and saw her there when I went this evening. You may go check on her, but she is quite tired, and probably won't wake up."  
  
Remus bristled at the /permission/ to go visit a girl he obviously thought of Severus as having no claim over. /Which, in all rights, you don't/, a treacherous little voice whispered. /Remember what you did to her? Your only hope of redemption is on Thursday, and it is doubtful she will forgive you even then./ Severus told that voice fiercely to shut up. He had no intention of letting things stay as they were between him and Sass, and that wasn't the point right now anyway. Right now all he had to do was make the last of his childhood tormenters feel as subordinate as possible.  
  
"You just stay away from her, /Snape/," the werewolf snarled. "I meant what I said before. Pick someone else to play with, because I'm taking care of her now." Then he turned on his heel and left. Severus sighed, wrote something on yet another piece of parchment, and stared at the scripted words for a moment before throwing it, too, into the fire.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Honestly, Remus, I'm /fine/," Sass said for what had to be at least the third time that day. "And you know it. You saw me in class this morning, hardly took your eyes off me at lunch, and just got finished watching me through /another/ lesson! I'm so sore I can hardly move, but that's /it/! What's bothering you?"  
  
Sass watched her teacher carefully as he shook his head, apologizing for being so protective but not really meaning it. Not that she really minded having someone so worried about her. /It's just. well, strange/. "You know I just want to make sure."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Are you going anywhere for the holidays?" she asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
Remus shrugged. "I don't know. I might just travel." He grinned. "That's really why I don't have much money. Got the 'wandering feet,' so I end up spending far too much on lodgings and food. What about you?"  
  
"I'm going home," Sass said, rolling the word around in her mouth, "you know, to Tokyo. Emara and Michelle have something planned, I can tell- you should have seen their last owl! I could almost /smell/ the secrecy!"  
  
He laughed. "Well, I'm sure whatever it is will be interesting. You free after this?"  
  
"Yeah. Why?"  
  
"I was wondering if you wanted a tour of the Forbidden Forest. It's really not dangerous if you can get the trees to recognized you- they'll protect you as best they can from all their inhabitants, some of whom won't attack you at all if you're on the 'ok' list."  
  
"If it's that simple, why isn't everyone accepted?" Sass wanted to know.  
  
"Well, the Forest won't accept just anyone," Remus said. "I honestly don't know what criterium it uses, but I just have this feeling, I think maybe the Forest can hear some of what I'm thinking. and if it works, the Forest's protection could come in handy. You can ask the trees for favors, sort of, and if they feel like it they'll help you out. Would you like to try it?"  
  
Sass nodded uncertainly. "Sure, I guess so. Lead on, oh fearless leader." /I'm really glad I went out to the training arena last night. God, I feel so. strong. Like I could handle anything right now. Even. him. Yeah, I think I'll go to Potions this week. He has no right to keep me from learning anything/. She grinned, suddenly feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Remus nodded to other teachers they passed in the hall, but Sass just ignored everyone. /This is so. weird. I'm so happy. I'm not sure whether I should make sure I don't get used to it or just make the best of what time I've got. Oh well, let's see how this Forbidden Forest thing goes./  
  
"I thought students weren't allowed in the Forest, though," she said. Remus smiled, almost smirking.  
  
"Yes, but there are so many loopholes in that rule it looks like a piece of swiss cheese. Firstly," he said, ticking them off on his fingers, "you are with a teacher. Secondly, where exactly /are/ the boundaries of the forest? Hagrid's cabin is in the trees, so now that he's a teacher, every lesson could be considered 'in' the Forbidden Forest. Thirdly, the rule just says that you may not 'risk bodily harm to oneself or others' by entering the Forest. So when- if- the Forest accepts a person, they are technically not risking themselves, as the Forest will protect them."  
  
Sass raised an eyebrow at the teacher. "Well. Now I see why you ended up with so many detentions in school. The Marauders, were you?"  
  
Remus nodded, not abashed in the slightest. "True enough- the loopholes were basically the only reason we didn't get expelled- and the Hogwarts Code of Conduct was a lot more specific by the time we graduated. Which I suppose was a good thing- right?"  
  
Sass just laughed. They reached the treeline, and Remus stopped. Sass looked at him. "So what do we do now?"  
  
Remus' gaze lingered on the barren canopy for a minute before he spoke. "We make our petition and wait. If the Forest is interested, it will send someone to talk to us."  
  
"Alright," Sass said. "How do we make our 'petition'?"  
  
Remus sat down on the damp ground, grimacing as the moisture soaked through his robes. Sass followed suit, smiling at his expression until she, too, got wet. "We sit here, and think of what we want- for you to be accepted as a denizen of the forest. Close your eyes, it feels less ridiculous that way." He grinned at Sass and she shrugged, allowing her eyelids to drop closed. /Forbidden Forest/, she thought. /I want to be accepted, I want to be under your protection, and I will protect you as well, the best I know how. I want you to listen to me, I petition the right to be heard. Forbidden Forest, this is my request. / It seemed like ages before Sass was brought out of her trance by a very cold and very wet nose nuzzling her cheek. She opened her eyes, and thought, /Breathe. It isn't here to hurt me, the Forest is answering./  
  
:Not quite true, little one,: an amused voice said. :I am here to test you, to see if you are worthy of our notice.: Sass looked over at Remus, and he nodded, so she stood up, facing the manticore. Sass forced her breathing to slow, and calmed her mind.  
  
"What are the rules of this combat?"  
  
:No poison, magic, or long-range weapons are to be used. You may, however, Summon a weapon by magic now. The combat is until surrender or unconsciousness. I will not harm you further if I defeat you, and you will do likewise. Is that understood?: Sass nodded. :Then let us begin. Do you choose a weapon, or to fight without?: Sass turned to Remus.  
  
"You know the training arena where you found me last night?" At his affirmative, she continued. "I want you to Summon a pair of swords, rapiers, about this long, maybe three centimeters wide. They have sort of a blue sheen and a bit of tooling in the handles, they're wrapped in leather- second row down, fourth and fifth to the right as you enter the room."  
  
"Sure. /Accio swords/!" After a moment, the two blazes of steel whirred into sight, coming to a stop just in front of Remus. "There you go. Good luck, Sass," he said, and she noticed a flicker of concern in his eyes before she turned to face the manticore again. /What's wrong? Is this somehow different than what he did when he was accepted?/ She shook her head to clear it. /Completely centered./ She took her beginning stance and tilted her head to her opponent.  
  
"Are you prepared?"  
  
The creature surprised her, replying with the traditional words. :As ever the sun is prepared to greet the moon, we shall begin.: Then it bowed, a brief but unmistakable gesture of respect. Then it pounced, leaving Sass to roll out of the way and flip to her feet. /Damn, this thing is faster than I expected. I can't forget that it's magical, and so doesn't necessarily have to obey the laws- of physics/, she thought, twisting out of the way once again, barely parrying the tail that whipped behind, trying to catch her off guard. /Note- tail seems to be able to get longer or shorter/. She advanced this time, trying to catch the head between her blades. It eeled out of the way, somehow forcing her to avoid being pinned. /I'm not going to win against this thing/, she thought. /It's too fast. Well, I'll be damned if I ever give up an easy victory./  
  
Sass twisted and kicked, aiming for the soft connection between the head and neck. No such luck. She hit high. /Well, that's going to leave a bruise, but I haven't slowed it down/. They came together again, and this time Sass managed to score its flank, leaving a wound that bled freely, but when she retreated, a warm wetness on her cheek told her that the manticore, too, had drawn blood. Sass tried to hit a shoulder, but the manticore batted her sword away, and Sass only managed to hang on by sheer luck. She saw the attack coming, saw she had left herself open, not much, but enough, just a little off-balance-  
  
Wham. Suddenly Sass was on her back, shoulders pinned, swords useless at this short range. /Oh man, what now? I have to yield. Wait/! She saw an opening and took it, tucking in her legs and shooting them out again, straight into the manticore's stomach. She rolled under and behind it, narrowly avoiding the tail. No swords anymore, she noticed. And was that a hint of a smile on the creature's face as it turned to face her again? Sass knew that she was pretty much screwed now, that every moment was simply prolonging the battle. /But sometimes every second counts for you./ She continued to circle, now simply avoiding capture and connecting a kick or punch whenever she could. And then, without warning, she was on her back again. This time, no escape presented itself, and she yielded dizzily.  
  
The manticore stepped back, looking very pleased with itself. :An impressive display of skill,: it said, :but you are still young. Too young to defeat me. And now, the decision must be made. Shall we accept you on the promise of future skill, or allow your talent to develop more slowly and make you come back then?: Sass was breathing hard, still lying on the ground. /I think it hit one of my bruised ribs that last time it knocked me down/, she thought before the roaring blackness came to capture her and envelop her pain its dark arms.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The manticore paced forward when the girl-child passed out, wondering what ailed the human. The Ally knelt by her side, swearing in his language. :What is wrong with her, Ally of the Forest? Did I hit her too hard?: The Ally shook his head.  
  
"No, she is simply in pain from previous injuries. She fell down a staircase and is recovering from pneumonia, but I knew this would be her last chance to prove herself for several years, and I don't know if she will need protection before that." The manticore nodded gravely, relaying its memories of the recent combat to the Grove. It conversed briefly with its home, weighing all the factors.  
  
:Tell me, Ally, why do you believe this human child needs the protection of this forest? Is she in some kind of danger?:  
  
The Ally looked up at the manticore, knowing it would see any falsehood. "I know she has some demon in her past, which she has not confided in me. But I know that many in the school hate her, and she needs things that will stay steady to keep her sane through their trials. If she could be a part of this forest, I believe it would help ground her. I also think that she may become important to the wizarding world, in a subtle way. And not least, I care for her, and any protection she can have would make me easier at night."  
  
The manticore was silent for a moment more. :Revive the girl,: it said. :We have come to a decision.:  
  
Diety- YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! You reviewed my chapter like five minutes after I put it up! It was so cool!!!!!! Thanks, you're prolly my most loyal reviewer, your reviews always make me wanna go and write more, so. *fanfare* this chapter is dedicated to you!!!!! Thanks!!!!!  
  
Acy- I'm sure you'll never read this, but I would like it if you would tell me WHY you think Sass is a mary-sue. And I hate people who aren't brave enough to sign in when they criticize/flame.  
  
OK you guys, I know this chapter went up fast, but do you really think that giving me LESS reviews is a bad way to reward me? Next time I get 2 done in a weekend I may just wait until more than ONE person ask me to put up more. 


	17. notes NOT A NEW CHAPTER!

Sunday, Nov. 24  
  
Hey all! This is riverlady, and I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm sorry updates aren't coming very quickly right now. The foremost reason is that I am currently editing Sasina, esp. the beginning (I wrote it a year ago.). Combine this with the ever-present school, other (unposted) stories, and a mild case of writers' block. well, let's just say my life is a little hectic right now. One thing- I would GREATLY appreciate it if people have any ideas as to some things they might want me to change, general or specific- I can't say I will, but that sort of feedback is appreciated and helps me become a better writer. Thanks for hanging in there with me (you are, aren't you?), and I'll seeya!  
  
~riverlady 


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